Catching Idle Butterflies

It's not personal, Dunderhead!

First off, read my title.

Next, a warning. This is but a rant, not to be taken too seriously.

The title is not meant for you, but for me. That phrase has been my mantra for the past few weeks.

Still, everytime I log onto this site, it takes more effort to convince me I haven't scared or pissed people off around here to the point they don't come visit me any more.

Why would I even wonder that? Okay, here it goes. Remember, this is only a rant; I do this to get it out of my system only. My head knows it's stupid, my heart takes more effort to convince:

I see first off many people who used to comment don't any more, and yet, when I read other blogs, I see them commenting in those.

Makes me want to stay away from here it's so depressing. I keep thinking if I did, for one, no one would miss me, and for two, I'm tired of wondering and worrying.

So I will ask a question: Did I do something wrong?

That was my heart talking. Now for my head:

By thinking 'it's all about the numbers' it reduces my appreciation for those who still take the time to comment. It makes me seem as though I see my readers as a mere number, not a human being. Yes, I miss many of you, but I know you have reasons other than me. Life is not always about me, and what I've done or not done. Good Lord, I'm not so interesting you clamor to see what I have to say day after day after day after day, to infinity, ad nausem.

I so need to get over myself.

It'll take time, though. I know that. My heart is much louder, and more stubborn than my head.

I don't want you to feel obligated to comment at this pathetic, whiny entry (so says my head), but I would love it anyway (so says my heart).

*Takes a deep breath*

Feeling a little better, Dunderhead (that's me) is going bye, bye now.

Have a good night!