Ten-Finger Exercises

Trying something new

Different is good, right? Maybe not necessarily.

I have a block against writing non-fiction, even though this is my 239th blog entry and few were fiction. There's something about trying deliberately to write an essay that puts me mentally back at 16, feeling rebellious about an assignment. The whiney, "I don't want to" takes over the rest of me, and I don't do a very good job.

One of the classes I've started taking at the A-1 Writing Academy is Char's Dynamic Non-Fiction, and here 's today's 300 words, an informal essay. This seems like decent blog material, but feels very stilted and high schoolish the way I wrote it.

Show, Don't Tell

“Show, don’t tell,” is common advice for writers. It would be equally appropriate for lovers, and I commend its use as such. Valentine’s Day is coming soon, and it’s a good time to consider how we can love each other better.

Love is a verb, and is dependent on action. Loving someone passively has very little use at all. It should be relegated to teens with crushes on movie stars, and has no place in the relationships of real love.

Saying, “I love you” could count as showing, because it is an action and an important one, as anyone who never hears it enough can attest to. On the other hand, if you say it as you go out the door to meet your friends instead of staying on to help with the dishes or the kids, what good is that? Or if you assure someone of your devotion, and only mean it when it’s convenient, when you aren’t busy watching a good show on tv. Your actions are louder than your words.

There are many ways you can show love, and I’ll start with attention. Pay attention to what the person likes and doesn’t like. Pay attention to what the person says. If you don’t know what she likes, find out. The best kind of attention there is is whatever says to the other, “I’m interested in you.”

If you try to listen but don’t know what he’s talking about, ask him to explain the part that’s confusing. He’ll be glad to know you’re showing some interest in a subject he’s interested in himself. If his big amusement is football and you don’t even try to learn what the game is about so you can watch it with him, what does that show?

There are so many ways to show love, and the reciprocal is true. There are many acts of love we need to learn to notice. Putting winter tires on your car for you may not be roses, but it’s an act of love. So is making an appointment with the doctor for you, or buying your favorite kind of mustard, or balancing your checkbook. Don’t foget, not only to say thanks, but also to feel loved by those gestures when you receive them.

Telling is important, but don’t forget to let your love show.