Ten-Finger Exercises

Choosing life

Every so often we have hospice patients we have to discharge because they get better instead of worse. Usually it is an occasion for celebration, but not always. Sometimes people want to remain hospice patients so that they can continue to get the services, the free prescriptions and aides to help with bathing and cooking and whatever.

We've discharged a couple of patients recently who have improved so much they no longer meet hospice criteria: expected to die within six months. Those have been happy partings because the people were genuinely better; their quality of life had improved too.

Today I visited two who don't fit that category yet, but may. One is a woman who has cancer, and the treatments were not showing any improvement. Circumstances in her life (read: her family) had become difficult, and she decided to discontinue treatment and become a hospice patient. When I first met her, she was in bed, where she'd been since she left the hospital. She didn't seem too ill, but said she hoped she'd be able to do some legal work quickly before she died. She didn't expect to live more than a few weeks, at best.

This week she was dressed, having a snack in the kitchen, and smiling. She realized that she had not even tried to manage her own blood sugar, or depression, etc. She had relied on medecine for everything, until she finally gave up. Friday she had a revelation. She decided to choose life.

She looks 100% better, and feels that way too. She went to church Sunday for the first time in months and was so happy she cried. It could be that she feels better just because she's off chemo, but she's made a big change in her attitude as well. She expects that her cancer will be in remission when she goes to the doctor next. If not, I think she will be okay. She is a woman of faith, and will appreciate the quality of her life now because of her decision, even if it doesn't last long.

Another patient, a man whose legs have both been amputated, looked cheerful today. He is in a nursing home for respite while his wife moves them into an apartment, out of the tiny trailer they've been sharing with the couple who owns it, who have been taken care of by the patient's wife. They were stuck in a single bedroom, in a very dirty place. What a relief to see him in this very average nursing home. He was running around in his wheelchair (which there was no room to use in the trailer.) He had a book about watercolors on his table, and was doing some sketching. Yesterday he had a raging fever. Today he's perky as can be and itching to go home to his new apartment.


Tomorrow we really hope will be warm enough, if cloudy, to fly to see my son and his family. If not, or if the weather doesn't bode well to fly home Sunday (there's the crunch now, I guess,) we'll drive over. It will be great to get out of town and make the trip, regardless of the vehicle. I must want to fly more than Bill does, it seems. We'll have to practice more dieting out, not an easy task. But it will be fun to see Hap and his girls.