Catching Idle Butterflies

Weakness = Strength: A Paradox of Growth.

“What does not kill me, makes me stronger.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche.

“Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, "My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through me. Since I know it is all for Christ's good, I am quite content with my weaknesses and with insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 (RSV).

The battle started with the occasional arrow whizzing past my head. I stood outside my shelter, unarmed, unprotected. But with my enemy’s aim so poor, I laughed, confident they couldn’t touch me.

I fired back, and it seemed for a while this battle I would win. My confidence increased, I stepped farther from my shelter, even taunted my enemy.

Their aim improved. More arrows flew passed, closer each time. I felt a sudden sharp pain in my side and my chest. I looked to find blood seeping out of my heart. I weakened. I turned to retreat into my shelter, but it had shimmered away.

I glanced around looking for a place to hide. Not even a bush or rock broke up the parched, desolate landscape. My enemy neared, gaining more confidence with each step as they saw me without protection, without weapons to fight back.

Falling to my knees I cried out to my Captain. I felt Him near, but I could not see Him. I begged for help, but I discerned no answer. He waited, near, but not to protect me from the assault.

I fell to my face. “I quit,” I screamed to my enemy. “You win.”

To my invisible Captain, waiting and watching at the edge of the battlefield I begged for His forgiveness. I made a horrible mistake by thinking I could fight. I remembered the days when I lived my life as a civilian, not a soldier. I never had to endure this pain, all my life blood seeping out of me, alone and abandoned again and again. I wanted only to return to that life of comfort, no matter the cost.

No more arrows pierced my body. A silence, deep, yet comforting fell all around me.

A pair of feet came near. I had not the strength or courage to look up. My Captain stood over me, but not with the anger and disappointment I expected. He touched my head and whispered: “Stand up.”

Still wounded, still bleeding, but not as much, I stood. My Captain smiled at me and led me to a new shelter, away from, and out of sight of my enemy.

In the middle of this room and on a small table sat two books. “You know what to do,” He said.

I didn’t want to, but I knew I must. I sat in the single chair as My Captain stood at the entrance, once again waiting, but much closer and exuding only love and compassion.

I picked up the first book entitled, “Write His Answer,” and turned to the next lesson: Put on the Armor of God.

. . . Things are changing – rapidly. We can no longer ignore all the signs that point to the return of Christ. They challenge us to be actively involved in spreading the Gospel while the doors remain open to produce and distribute Christian literature. But we do need to count the cost. In a very real way, writing for the Lord puts on the front lines where “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Eph. 6:12 NIV). To go into the battle without the full armor of God is dangerous.”

. . . The breastplate of righteousness protects my most vulnerable area – my heart, the home of my feelings and emotions. It is so easy for me to be wounded by others, to allow myself to be influenced by fear of what they may say or think. I need to be constantly vigilant against the temptation to compromise because “everyone else is doing it.” I cannot pad my writing expenses on Schedule C. I cannot be careless attributing quotes or use copyright material without permission. Instead, I must handle every aspect of the business side of my writing in a way that honors the Lord. My first priority must be to bring glory to him and not to myself. “Lord,” I pray, “help me today to consistently choose to do what is right in your eyes.

“Putting on the shoes of readiness to share the Gospel protects me from the temptation to get sidetracked. There are often other things I can do and write that would require less time and effort, but if I am to be a soldier of the King, I must take my orders from him. I need to follow his marching orders instead of asking him to bless mine. When I walk in obedience, I find that my feet do not become bruised and weary from going places he never intended me to go. I also find that when I say yes to what he wants me to do, rather than yes to what others tell me I should do or what I feel they expect me to do, I am filled with peace instead of tension . . .”

I looked up and through my tears I saw my friends appear. They patched up my wounds and praised my deeds. Full of gratitude, I nonetheless thought I deserved none of their kind, uplifting words.

“It’s not about you,” My Captain whispered. “What you write belongs to me, and therefore their praise also belongs to me. I have chosen you to write, so do your duty and write. But for now, pick up the other book and read. You will see clearer how you can accomplish all the tasks I ask of you.”

I picked up my Bible and read the passage the lesson required me to study:

“A final word: Be strong with the Lord's mighty power. Put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies and tricks of the Devil. For we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those mighty powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms. Use every piece of God's armor to resist the enemy in the time of evil, so that after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that you will be fully prepared. In every battle you will need faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by Satan. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray at all times and on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all Christians everywhere.” ~ Ephesians 6:10-18 (RSV)