A little something about nothing

New Experience

On Friday Mark and I planned to go to our friends' (Terrell) mother's visitation earlier in the afternoon so we could spend time with Terrell before the after work rush of people.

Mark had talked to him the night before and mentioned we would be there around 3pm. We pulled up just after 3pm and noticed there were only two vehicles in the parking lot. We knew it would not be packed, but we expected a few more cars. We sat there for a minute trying to figure out who might be there because we did not see Terrell's car.

After a few minutes a man walked out and took off in one of the cars, leaving just one left. Mark was trying to figure out who's it might be when I gave him a reality check. I told him there is only one car there, which is more than likely the person working there's vehicle. We were both very confused. Did we get the day wrong, the time wrong, the name of the place wrong...what was going on??

I talked him into calling Terrell. He answered and said he was at home, but would be leaving in a few to get his haircut. WHAT?! He told us it was set up where we go in to pay our respects and leave. HUH!? Isn't that only in the movies? He said the family would be returning around 6 - 6:30 for the service.

So Mark and I a little nervous and confused got out of the car. We walked into the building and a woman was sitting at the desk as we walked up. She pointed us in the direction and said there was a sign in book before we entered the room. We signed the book and proceeded into the room. There were chairs lined up on one side of the room and pews filling the rest of the room, with an organ at the front left side and the body lying at the front right side.

Without having a clue what to do, we slowly moved to the front of the room to stand in front of the body. Typically I avoid the body at the visitations I attend, but without anyone there to converse with I had no options. She looked very pretty and peaceful. This brings up a question...how long is the appropriate time to view a body? What is it people do when they stand there for extended periods of time...are they praying the whole time, are they looking at the person, are they trying to think what they will say to the family, are they planning what they are going to eat for dinner...what goes on up there???

We looked at the flowers that were there, which was a little sad. There was a larger arrangement from the church Terrell attends and a smaller arrangement from a family/friend. Not anything from his work, which he has been with for over 6 years!

We weren't sure if we were supposed to sit and wait a bit or just leave, so we opted for leaving. Our total visit was under 15 minutes...not at all what we expected.

It had its benefits as you were not put in the situation of trying to keep a positive conversation going; however, it was bad in the fact you weren't able to show your support. I asked Mark if it could be a religous thing, which he said he was involved with a non-denomination parish. So I asked if it could be a culture thing as Terrell is African American. He told me no, because he had attended other visitations and the family was there. Maybe it was a cost thing since they weren't sure they'd have enough money to even have a visitation.