Mental Meanderings

Super avoidance techniques

I think I'm having a bad day. It's not as bad as they get but it's definately not good. I can't bring myself to do much of anything. I keep thinking of what I could be doing and looking for reasons not to be doing them.

For example, right now, I know it's time to write my blog entry. If I don't get it done then I'll have a black 17 on my calender and will have broken the promise to myself to get back to writing my daily blog. I value my word to myself but sometimes it's so easy to break. My brain keeps telling me that I have no idea what I could write about. Nothing at all interesting could come out of me today. Why should I torture my readers with more of my long-winded babble?

I also at a half block of chocolate today. I feel rediculous for doing it but my justification is that come Thursday I'll be paying $16 a week to lose weight with Weight Watches so I need to get rid of the stuff in my house that will blow me off course. This was also my justification for eating Yum Cha for dinner and Spaghetti for lunch rather than healthier alternatives. I can't afford to throw away or give away the unhealthy food and buy new food even if that would be a better choice.

The truth is, I could turn those unhealthy foods in my cupboards into a small portion of an otherwise fairly healthy meal. I mean if I turned that can of spaghetti into a small portion in a dinner of steamed vege's and fish for three (or even made 6 serves and freeze 3 for another meal) it would be healthier than just having spaghetti on it's own and so much of it. But I can talk myself into the easy options very easily.

I keep coming across this lack of willpower within myself. It prevents me from reaching so many of my goals. I know I've talked about it before in various means, procrastination, depression, etc. all of these things are just parts of the reasons my body conjures for throwing up road blocks to my own success. And what is worse is that I know it's all my own doing and that I have the power to prevent it from happening.

Why is it so hard to make better choices? Why is it easy to sleep in till 9AM in the morning and spend the day reading or playing games instead of writing, working, cleaning, gardening etc? Does anyone else have difficulty convincing themselves to do the things that have to be done?