Mental Meanderings

How can I resist a plea like that?

Forever is missing me. So is Scarlett. And finally I decide to stop putting off getting back to my journal and start today.

Each morning, I load up my PC, check my email, bank, emailcash, essential baby, and then writing.com email. I glance at my blog thinking, "I really should write an entry." But then I think about the shortness in time every morning and I don't want to be late getting Kaylie to school but I also don't want to rush my entry.

I also keep thinking about all the entries I've missed by my favorite authors. I've been terribly guilty of not keeping up with everyone and there is so much I've missed. Is Nada enjoying her new home yet? Is Scarlett's tan nice and faded and is she dreaming of her next holiday. How are Dan and Tor and CC all doing? I still haven't found the time to check out Mavis's Boat Book. And I've had Forever on my list of to get reading but never get the chance.

The truth is I'm not even all that busy. I'm no longer playing The Sims Online. The game was ultimately more destructive than enjoyable. Paying a monthly fee to play wasn't helping either but mostly there was too much drama and emotional turmoil. Sim romances coming and going and having to deal with everyone elses problems all the time. Not to mention the fact that it was often lonely because most of the players were asleep when I was awake. That's the trouble of being in a country in an opposing time zone to the US.

I've been beating myself up about how little writing I've been doing lately. I've always known I was a master procrastinator but this last month or so has put that beyond measure. I've not even been keeping up with my budget and my finances are starting to show that fact. Another thing I'll begin again today. I seriously can't afford to neglect it.

Mostly, I've been missing you all and trying to figure out all the dozen little things I can do so that I don't have a chance to sit down and think about all the dozen little things I should be doing. Writing is top of that list. I've made an effort to write a couple of poems this week but I've not been happy with them. Other than that I haven't written more than genealogy and shopping lists.

But, today is the day to end it all. I'm back and will hopefully manage to get a journal entry in every day. I can't promise to get back to reading everyone, that list is still a little overwhelming, especially when I want to do some writing as well.

I've been thinking about starting a writing.com contest. For some reason I'm still not a yellow case but perhaps it's because I seem to be so sporadic here. I do a wave of reviews every couple of weeks when I know I could be doing more reviews, particularly of poetry. But I'm getting away from the subject of this paragraph. A contest. Yes, I've been thinking about starting a contest that involves writing an advice colomn. The idea came to me when I was reading one of the many romance novels in my pile. The hero of the story wrote an advice column under the womans name of his dog. Dear Cordelia. I got to thinking that I'd probably be pretty good at writing advice columns and wondering if advice columnists have any qualifications for giving advice. Do they?

What do you all think? Would anyone be interested in a challenge like this? I'd give a Dear You, letter and the contestants would then each write a response with a certain word limit. I'd give prizes for the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd places. I could even have people write the Dear You, letters and if I choose your letter you get a prize too as well as having all those contestants give you advice. I'm starting to like this idea more and more as I think about it. lol

Anyway, I want to give a huge, public THANK YOU to Forever for the fantastic and detailed critique of my novels first chapter. From the feedback I've already recieved I've been ruminating on the changes I need to make and will be writing draft 3 before offering the reviewed first chapter. Depending on the feedback then I'll either feel I need to go back to basics again (like I did this time) or work on the changes as a fourth draft but put up my other chapters for review also.

Of course that means I need to get back to the writing/editing aspects of my novel. That's a pretty scary idea. It feels a little overwhelming. Thankfully the feedback has been great. People are loving the story and being very positive and encouraging. I've yet to come across a review that made me feel like this path mightn't be the one for me. That's saying something because I'm constantly doubting my abilities to be a writer. lol

*sighs* Self-defeating, terrible isn't it, but I suspect every writer goes in wondering if they really have the right to write anything and believe others would be interested in reading it. Why would what I have to say be worth reading? It's when I'm asking questions like these I sit back and contemplate the fact that I'm a conduit for a message beyond myself. I just have to figure out how to hear that message and write about it. lmfao

Goodness, I've talked the ears off a donkey. *cliche, don't you love it? * Now, stop hiding behind a journal entry and get to that novel Rebecca. I'm going, I'm going. Thank you everyone and it's great to be back.