Mental Meanderings

Run ragged, limb and dripping, but still fat

*groans* Big appologies to anyone who missed me this morning. Last night was torture, just when I thought my lack of sleep had reached a peak my children prove me wrong. Kaylie was sick last night. Anyone who has had kids knows what that means. It means very little sleep for parents, particularly single mothers. I think I got a total of 3 hours sleep last night, broken up of course. Every time Kaylie woke up crying or being sick she'd wake Josh and I'd have to settle them both. Laundry in the middle of the night to wash bedsheets. Restless tossing and turning. Baths and sinks to clean up after being sick. *emits another long, agonized groan*

This morning I was wreaked. I turned off my alarm and took advantage of the fact that the kids were both tired too to sleep in a little. Eventually we woke up at 7:30AM. I did think I would keep Kaylie home from school but by 8:30AM she was much better and wanted to go. I had an appointment at the bank and since she looked and felt fine I decided she might as well go, they can reach me on my mobile if she got worse again. (She didn't, was fine all day and still is now.)

It was difficult concentrating at the bank. Thankfully it's pretty simple to sign the papers where they tell you. And, even more thankfully, everything was pretty straight forward. Paul stopped by the bank after work and did his part so by this time next week I'll be the proud owner of my own home and the not so enthused owner of a $100,000 mortgage. I'll be very glad of the security of having a home for me and my kids.

Timing was pretty perfect. Paul goes away to the US for at least a month on Saturday. We had thought the bank would get done sooner than this but I'm glad it was finalised this week. I really needed to push it through because if it hadn't been done it would have been hard to finish up while he was out of the country. He also mentioned today that he might not have a job to come back to after his holiday. The company he works for are liquidating. Selling everything up to their competitors. I suspect they'll close a lot of branches which means a lot of people will lose their jobs. With Paul not on hand to evaluate he might be near the top of the lists for layoffs. Thankfully that's not really my problem any more. So long as he keeps paying maintenence the kids and I will not be effected. I get the impression that regardless he doesn't plan to stay long. Assuming things work out with his woman he'll probably move to the US sometime soon.

Part of the conversation on the drive to the bank today with my mother was diets. We had stopped for lunch on the way back and had just finished eating a Deli Roll (MacDonald's) each. We were reading the nutrition panel on the back of the pack while discussion various diets. One diet specifies keeping your daily calorie intake to 1200. So reading these Deli Roll packs we realised that we'd have to have a Deli Roll and nothing else for two days, to keep under that amount. I came home and had a look at the sorts of things I regularly eat, it's shocking to know how many calories are in things. No wonder I'm not losing any weight. So, now is the time to work on a diet. Does anyone have dieting tips? What's worked for you?

I've also been having computer troubles this last week. I'm currently doing those sorts of things required to optimise my drive. So far it seems to be working. I started by doing a doctor repair on the harddrive and it picked up a lot of errors. Since running it the whole computer has been doing better. This is actually my second attempt at writing this entry, earlier the computer froze on my in the process but things seem to be working better now so I'm optimistic. Currently I'm defragging and things seem to be greatly improved. Hopefully all this effort gives my computer a new lease on life.

The kids are both asleep. I should take the opportunity to get some shuteye myself but it's Thursday and Stargate: Atlantis is due to start soon. Just got finished watching Lost. Both programs and SuperNanny on Mondays are all that are left on my required viewing each week. I don't watch much TV and it's a shame that my favorite programs are on so late. I still wonder where season seven of Charmed ran off too. We had the first three episodes of the season then various reality tv shows took over. I hope the season returns. If not then I'll keep an eye out and buy all eight seasons on DVD.

Anyway, enough, more boring blabber. I feel guilty. My entries always seem so self involved. I wish I could discuss major mind-boggling issues like some of the blogs/journals I read. I suppose I shouldn't feel like I'm letting my readers down. The truth is it helps me to share myself like this and I hope my meanderings brighten other peoples days. I mean, you must feel better about your life if you're getting eight solid hours sleep and you learn that some people attempt to survive on three broken hours right Even I realise that I have a pretty good life compared to some people, I'm very lucky, even when I'm drop-dead tired and wish someone would take my kids for a night so that I can get a full eight hours for the first time in two years.

Rambling again. I'm going I swear. Have a great day/night everyone.