Unravelling My Thoughts

Selfishness--Temperamental differences

When I speak of selfishness, I'm not judging anyone severely. It is clearly evident that it is human nature that people think of themselves, before any other person. There are a times in which this element of temperament can save your life in dangerous situations. However, I do want to reveal how this life-saving element can cause great distress when TOO MUCH focus is on self. Each temperament is different in how they express selfishness.

Sanguines don't think badly of others when they meet them on the street, unless, of course, something dramatic happened earlier in life that might cause them to not be so outgoing. They do not believe anyone is out to get them, but rather will tell their life stories to anyone who listen. They are upfront and honest. This is not necessarily a bad thing, unless they only consider themselves in their conversations. It is a skill that must be learned, to know that people aren't always interested in you, but rather themselves. This type of selfishness can be detrimental to relationships. To maintain healthy relationships, they may have to learn that it is not all about them.

The Choleric's selfishness is of a different sort. They care what will get them through to achieving their personal goals. They can get so driven in this pursuit, that they don't take help from anyone else. They won't look left or right, but just keep on driving through to their goals. It took the good Lord to blind the Choleric, Paul, to make him see that it was not his own strength that he received victory. It is not his glory that he was to seek. Their stubborn nature can turn people away from trying to help them. It is hard to help someone who won't accept it.

Those of Melancholy temperament may take slight comments personally that were never meant to be taken out of context. Someone's always talking about them, or doing something to just to irritate them. Seriously, though, they internalize all of this and let it stir and stir, and they focus on how bad their lives are. They focus on small details that are, many times, specks of sand when compared to the big picture of their grand lives. When they are involved in helping other people, and take they take their eyes off of themselves, they are quite insightful problem-solvers for other people. Their type of selfishness can lead to feelings of depression and anxiety, and may manifest physical symptoms, if not remedied, like mentioned above.

I turn to the Phlegmatics now, and I personally know that, even though we seem calm, content and genial, there is a selfish nature that is very strong. We close ourselves into our shell, and we tend not to want to share anything with anyone. When we go through problems in our lives, we just want to get through it unscathed, and will try to shy away from people who try to make us face the problems head on. When going through trouble, we may see someone who genuinely wants to help us, but we whisper under our breath that they don't speak to us. If they ask how we're doing, we're forced out of our shells. We don't like it, but I praise the Lord for people who pay attention to us quiet sufferers, and don't give up in trying to hammer through that tough skin. I can say that the best thing I've learned in my life, is to just let people into my life. When I saw that other people faced the same problems I did, it made a world of difference.


Any questions about selfishness and temperament? Let me see them.