Monkeys

The EX Saga

*This email contains a cross posted email with some cursing...I advise that you not read it if you will be offended....*

Okay. So most of you, my friends whom I know personally, recently got an email from me,entitled "What real Western New Yorker's Say." Well, when I sent it out, I sent it to everyone in my email address book, and apparently, Jay, my ex-husband, was still in there. So, I unknowingly sent it to him. Well, he replied to it saying:

"Please do not email me anymore.
Our connections are severed.

Good day."

So, I laughed at this, because it was simply hysterical to me that he thought I was intentionally sending him an email. As if. So, I then thought about it, and replied. Because I knew it was now or never to say what I wanted to. Here is what I sent back:

"Moving on are we? Unlike some, I'm glad to hear it. Now, I don't have to worry about stepping on YOUR toes anymore. No more worries about whom I am seen with, and where. No need to worry who may run and tell you they saw me with someone. Not that I cared if you knew, just didn't want to rub it in your face. But now it's all good, isn't it? I can stop worrying about how you will feel when you see my name in the newspaper for an engagment announcement,a marraige announcement or having a baby.

Well, I truly hope things work out for you, and that you have a very happy life. What could have been isn't. But you know something? It is not my fault that you couldn't be mature enough to talk to me about the things you "apparently knew." It could have saved so much. I JUST found out a few weeks ago what supposedly happend....and what people have supposedly telling you. Nice of you to mention those factors to me. If not for any other reason then to allow me to have the knowledge of why people have been talking behind my back for well over a year.

But hey, what's done is done, and now we can be happy again. Although, I can honestly say that I never thought I would see the day when we would run into one another, and because of whatever selfishness or embarassment you have, you have to walk away, and not acknowledge me. I didn't even see you until it you were almost around the corner anyways....it is truly okay though. You probably did me a favor. Now I know the truth behind what happend....or at least as much of the truth as I will ever know.

So you see, in all reality, by cutting ties on your end, you've made it easier for me to look forward instead of behind. Thanks!"

Now, to insert a bit of an explanation, I just found out about a month ago, from his mom that a person who I had thought to be my best friend had went to Jay and told him that we were sleeping together, and that he (the "best friend") had wanted to come clean. And this reasoning was supposedly the thing that pushed him over the edge and what was Jay's final reason for leaving me. The irony in this? He had been having an affiar, literally at my expense for quite some time. But all in all, he never gave me a reason why he left, just saying that he needed to work things out. And he'd be coming home.

The other thing I need to explain is the fact that a few weeks ago, Jay and I literally ran into each other at Walmart. I was with my mom and Feather, although we were not "together" at that moment. He was with his current girlfriend. I said hi when I saw him, and got no response. His view of it is a bit different.

Okay, now to read on with the lovely email that I got today from him:

"If I wanted you to blast me back like that, I would have asked for it.
Instead, I kept my composure, was mature enough to mask my contempt,
and politely asked you NOT to email me. I should have known better. I got
stomped on yet again. God, I thought that would stop when I divorced
you. But I guess just like always before, YOU have to have the last word
in everything. You wanna mix words and try matching wits with me? Fine.
Let's do it.

The reason I never mentioned anything about the things I had heard (and
am still hearing from a select few people whom I trust,) is simply
because I knew exactly what you would have said. Using the common sense I
derived from both past experience and basic psychology, I eliminated the
reason for even asking. (Since trying to figure out if what you said
was true seemed more like a crap shoot anyhow.)

Besides, what good would it have done me?

Remember back some time ago when I said I wanted to see a doctor
because I was having problems with depression? You told me, "You don't need
to see a doctor. You just need to quit being an ass about everything."
Well thank you so much for all the support. Just the encouragement I was
looking for. (Or, rather, the kind I expected to get.) I did end up
going to the doctor and you know what? After a divorce and a few months of
treatment, everything is much better now.

Congradulations on getting engaged and pregnant or whatever it was you
were talking about. Let me know when the date is, I'll be there in an
English tux and my shiniest shoes to personally deliver a sympathy card
to the poor fellow. By all means, don't fear stepping on my toes. I
don't feel it. They are still numb from when you did it before.

Oh, and embarassment? Selfishness? Honey, don't flatter yourself.
(Besides, you didn't exactly approach me either, remember?) I was ignoring
you because I didn't have the time or patience to converse in the format
of fake "Hi" and "Hello" friend shit, especially with people to whom I
have nothing friendly to say. I hope I didn't hurt mommy's feelings.
Tsk, tsk, tsk... I used to be such a polite and respectful boy. What ever
did happen to me? Do tell her I'm sorry.

Now if you would be so kind, don't wase your precious time writing me
to again. My computer begins to smell of the stench from the bullshit
your words are made with. Go and spend time with hubby-to-be before he
figures you out and bolts like I did, and becomes hubby-who-almost-was.

Besides, I would hate to drop a harassment suit on you.

*smoochies*
-Mr. Ex

P.S. - I'm really glad you found my words to make your parting of me a
little bit smoother. Your gratitude is not required, it was my
pleasure.

P.P.S. - Merry Christmas.

P.P.P.S. - Happy New Year.

P.P.P.P.S. - Copy and paste the last 2 notes, and send them to yourself
every year and pretend they are from me, because something tells me I might forget next time."

That is what he sent me.

This made me laugh hysterically. Ask Eric, he was there when I read it for the first time. :)

I seriously laughed for several reasons. He said a lot of things that explain how I feel too. And our perceptions of things are so different. And, all of the sudden, he has a sense of humor. When did he get that?

I think that this email has just made my Christmas even better. Because in all honesty, I have no worries about him anymore. Regardless of the things we've been through, and we've put one another through, I do care about him, and if he's okay. I always will. A very very small part of me always will. But in the long run, it has come down to the fact that I know longer care what he thinks. I honest to God don't.

But, to clarify some things for you guys, I want you to know that I never said anything about his depression. I didn't know he had a problem with it. And after he was gone, and what truth there was was out, I don't know how he could have had one. In all honesty, how much better does it get that someone could be married and his wife makes all the money that you get to spend, and you get to have a girlfriend too? I mean really....not that I enjoyed it, but he had it made. And, if you are really my friend, and you know me, you don't even have to question if I said that or not. Thanks to those of you who knew better.

And to clarify this....I am neither engaged nor pregnant. These things I KNOW! You'll know when I know. :)

However, I almost want to send him a wedding invitation when Joshua and I do get married so that he can come on down in his lovely tux and his shiny shoes to hand deliver the sympathy card! Now wouldn't that be a hoot???

Anyway, that's what's been on my mind today. I'm actually feeling really good, oddly enough. Maybe I needed this. But for those of you sitting at your computers rolling your eyes, wondering what I said in my second reply....I didn't. I saw no need to play the game, and get in to this. It will only bring up bad parts of the past that will cause pain. No one needs that.

My meeting at work went really well, and it looks very good for me. Which if all works out, it is just one step closer to financial security for Joshua and I. :) *<*Happily sighs*>*

Hope all is well with everyone else.

Lots and lots of love,
Beckie
1 Sammuel 12:24