Monkeys

Long Distance Relationships

They suck. I think I stated that sometime last year too. Why do I keep doing this? It is so frustrating sometimes.

Last night, I went out with a guy named Nate from work. Had a great time, but thought about Josh the entire time. And that is how it should be. But what sucks about the fact I thought about being with him all night is the fact that I won't be for another 3 weeks and then only for a few days. That is what sucks.

If any of you have seen my Buffalo Calendar from Daniel and Catherine lately, you know that all I do is cross off days. I am constantly waiting for something. That sucks. And yet, for my piece of mind, I cross the days off so I can see how much closer I am getting to doing whatever it is that I am counting down till. Sad eh?

No matter how many of those days I cross off today, it doesn't bring me any closer to seeing Josh- which is what I am counting down to again.

Grrrr. It is hard because he isn't here to go out with me at night, or for a walk in the middle of the afternoon, or to hold me when I am sad or hurting, or to laugh at me on nights like last night. And on the same token, I about go insane when I talk to him, and he is out with his own friends, or out with our friends. I'm not there....and I want to be.

Now, I am not one of those girls that wants to be around my significant other all of the time....but more than once every few months would be great. :)
Anyone out there know what I am talking about? There are some days when I don't even feel like I have a boyfriend....and this isn't anything that Josh doesn't already know. But I sometimes feel so alone.

There are the kind of days when I feel like I don't have anyone in the world that I can turn to, and then there are the kind of days like yesterday and today that I don't feel like I have a boyfriend at all.....

I don't know. It just sucks. And in case I haven't said it enough in here....it sucks.

Love,
The Bek