A peek at the REAL Thumbster

Living Shoeless

First off my prayers and thoughts are with my neigbours to the south. (God bless you Rose, Laura and Amy). I've seen on TV the destruction that tornadoes have done down there. I count my blessings we don't even consider weather like that around here. My family's problems seem very petty now.

Wanna hear some problems anyways? What the Hell. Nothing serious...just day to day learning experiences for the Thumbsucker clan.

Derek got dumped by his girlfriend...(of less than 3 weeks) the other night. (I'm beginning to think all the males in my family are cursed or something just lately) I know that seems so lame after seeing the newsclips with roofs torn off and buses thrown around like toys. How about if she dumped him by tying a Dear John letter to a Molotov cocktail and throwing it through our livingroom window? Actually she just dumped him face to face like Derek has dumped quite a few girls himself. Derek's had more than his fair share of girlfriends already. He's broken up with a couple I thought were keepers. Now he gets to experience the thrill of being on the receiving end for a change. Maybe he'll think twice in the future.

Poor Mitchell...poor poor Mitchell. All he seems to have these days is bad luck...followed by bad news...but I'm proud of how he's standing up and carrying on. It's special when a dad can learn from his son's example.

It's good to be back into a routine...not a schedule like I used to have where every half hour of my day was planned out before hand...that's way too rigid for me right now. I like structure and disicpline but not if it completely kills off spontaneity and impulsivness.

I went all day yesterday without eating anything. Only water passed these lips of mine...and toothpaste. Toothpaste was the only thing I tasted all day. Yummmmmmmmmmmm. I've tried several times in the past to go an entire day without eating but for one reason or another I never made it. I just wanted to see what it would be like to go to bed hungry for the first time in my life. Strangely I didn't find it all that hard...except at bedtime. I have odd eating habits to begin with...I'm a grazer. I eat when I'm hungry...not when the clock tells me to eat. I must confess I went to bed last night thinking about food and what I would eat first thing in the morning...Smarties...I ate all kinds of 'em when I woke up. The trouble was...fantasizing about food was similar to fantasizing about sex...anticipation often is better than the real thing. Nothing I ate this morning seemed as good as how I imagined it would be last night. I now intend to "fast" more often...(I hate that word...there are some words that just rub me the wrong way...God knows why...and "fast" is one of those words) Maybe I'll try several days in a row without food. It's one thing when I chose to go without eating just to see if I can...but if it was out of my control I think food would have been on my mind alot more. I understand you can't be hungry and tired at the same time...one need will override the other. Being hungry didn't foucs me but it did take my mind off other things.

I didn't log on yesterday either...part of my routine of staying focused. I'll see about going without the stereo or TV maybe. I think that will be harder than going without food...although I love the peace and quiet of the wilderness. I'd much rather hear the sound of the surf at the beach than someone's music.

I must try harder to be more patient with the people in my "real life". I'm not snappy with them...but I'm short with my time for them just lately. I'm not very proud of myself. I've got to get my priorities right.

Cricket and I were having a chat the other day about the pros and cons of being a cat. I must admit he made some good points. He's not concerned about haircuts or taxes or...not much of anything it seems.

The thought of being totally self-sufficient does sound appealing right now. To get up and go wherever my little heart desires with only my shadow and smile as baggage...but the idea of being shoeless was a concern to me. Cricket scoffed at my weakness. He's hot to trot whether it's sunny or snowing outside...(he's an indoor cat with a desire to be an outdoor cat). Shoes he pointed out would deprive him of half the fun he gets just pussy footing around. He can't understand how I can live not feeling the world with my feet...sorta like wearing gloves almost every waking moment.

Once again Cricket won me over to his way of thinking. I hardly ever go barefoot...and when I do it's always soooooooooo predictable. At bedtime...swimming or at the beach...changing at the gym. When I think about it part of the thrill of being at the beach is going barefoot. I love the feel of sand, grass or hardwood floors beneath my bare feet. The feel of hot pavement on a summer's day. Nothing slows the pace down more than walking barefoot on rough gravel...every step is considered. Walking barefoot on large boulders such as we have here on the Atlantic coastline is totally different than walking on them with footwear on. I don't get the same sense of dependability or power if my feet are covered. These are massive rocks...bigger than a car or even a house in some cases. I also love warming up my cold tootsies on the warm body lying next to me on a nasty winter's night...(that's the price they pay for being the first ones in bed)

Cricket...you were right...as always.

I hope all your dish prayers comes true Terry.

I think I've blathered on long enough.


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