A peek at the REAL Thumbster

Better you than me

Tickling seems to be a dying art. Not many great ticklin' songs being written lately. Gone are the days of seeing tickling in the movies. Probably just as well when I remember how many times I've been asked to leave because I'm such a giggler. Nobody usually gets mad at the tickler...it's the giggler that gets asked to leave. You can't tickle yourself...it just doesn't work. Same thing goes for tickling complete strangers. Oh sure you can try. You can try just about anything...once. Tickling is a great ice breaker...same as making very loud animal calls while waiting in line at checkouts or in elevators. Elevators can be a lot of fun. When that door closes everyone seems to trust we'll be on our best behavior for some reason...following all the unspoken elevator rules. HEY...I need the rules posted otherwise I'm left on my own. Some elevators still have elevator attendants...just in case...but they should still post the rules. Every trip in an elevator is different. The odder you seem...the more space the other elevator passengers will give you. A few energetic jumps up and down...to help the elevator decend faster...or look in any direction other than straight ahead...and the trip becomes a game of elevator survivor...all the "popular" passengers huddled together...like a flock of sheep or something. The flock can be very fickle folks. The "popular" passengers put the least "popular" passengers to the outside of the group...near me. I'm sorry...I've forgotten what the question was again. I should try and pay attention better when I write these things I guess. Something about my pants was it? Hmmmmmmmm. Why did you want to know about my pants? I like wearing pants. Was that it? Is this a trick question? I didn't realize I would have to study first before writing this. I'm in another stupid mood right now. Can you tell? I love it when giggling becomes contagious...usually at the end of a long day. Late Friday afternoons are good giggle days. Cannibals...what the Hell are they playing at? I think cannibals should be forced to wear warning stickers on their foreheads. What is the government thinking? They put warning labels on cigarettes...screen for terrorists at airports...rate some movies "R"...but why let cannibals walk around scott free? I'd like to know if someone I'm tickling in an elevator is a cannibal or not. The way it works now is I have to ask everyone first if they're a cannibal or not...and then I gotta hope they're honest cannibals. The government should DEFINITELY label cannibals who lie about being cannibals. That's just plain wrong. "Scott free?" Where did that come from? What a wierd thing to say. We have a lot of wierd sayings in English don't we? Probably just to frig up the foriegners trying to learn our language. I'm not nearly this interesting in real life...up close and personal. Not that I'm saying I'm interesting now mind you. "Mind you". There's another interesting saying. I`m quite shy and quiet in real life...I melt away in crowds...not one for jumping up and down, waving my arms wildly, shouting "HEY, LOOK AT ME!!!"...except for in elevators or in checkout line ups that is. Sorry you tuned in? No I won't tell you what my favorite number is...you might steal it. Hell it's getting so I can't trust cannibals coz they might try to eat me and now I gotta watch out for you too in case you steal my favorite number. Numbers...my life is full of numbers I have to remember. Combination locks...PIN numbers...telephone numbers...dates...measurements. All my precious memory cells being crammed full with numbers. I can't free up that memory for other things by writing those numbers down instead in case YOU see those numbers. A big part of my life is spent keeping my secret numbers secret from YOU!!!! What is it with you anyways? I'm not trying to find out your secret numbers. I best scoot for now. I think I covered everything I wanted to. Yeah...like I planned this all out before hand.





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