Fighting the Current

afraid of the dark

"You came in with the breeze
On Sunday morning
You sure have changed since yesterday
Without any warning
I thought I knew you
...
You're not looking like you used to
You're on the other side of the mirror
So nothing's looking quite as clear
Thank you for turning on the lights
Thank you, now you're the parasite
I didn't think you had it in you
And now you're looking like I used to!"
-"Sunday Morning," No Doubt

Realized I have no "feel good," happy-ish music in my collection. Well, a little here and there, but no entire CD. The closest thing I have is "Tragic Kingdom" by No Doubt. So I was listening to that this morning while I got ready and worked on my project a little.

All Friday morning I was so angry. Not really any particular reason either. Half of me was looking for a heated argument, half of me was very worried that I'd blow up at someone. Not myself at all. Then again, a lot of people haven't quite been themselves recently.

I have a terrible habit of ignoring things and hoping they'll go away. Good example: I always used to twist, pull, sprain things when I was in acrobatics, and I would typically attempt to walk it off or act like nothing had happened. That wasn't always the best treatment, and I could never pull it off.

"Once in while I sit back
And think about the planet
And most of the time I trip on it
To sit back and think about
How massive it all is
And how many others are on it"
- "Different People," No Doubt

Concert was today. It was about average. But my name was spelled right in the program for the first time in three years! This is an occassion worth celebrating. Or not.

I put down the book about the philosophy of The Matrix and picked up House of Leaves. Bad move. It's not bad so far, but it's too riveting and too provoking, and one of those books I'd get easily lost in. I want to keep reading, but I know better... And I really don't want to gain a fear of the dark.

English project to finish. Immediately. I don't want to be up until 1 or 2 AM, as is my usual for Sundays.