Continuously Kept

*Hugs her journal*

Mmmm, it's so nice to be back on writing.com.... I haven't been here in a while... I am back at my grandparents house, the place where I found this glorious site! I will be leaving in a few days, back to the hustle and bustle of school, and extracurricular activities... I miss being able to sit, and think, and write... Surprisingly, my grandmother mentioned that to me today. She asked, "Have you ever thought about just, being a writer?" She was shot down when I responded "Well, I would only want to write poetry!" I guess that is a problem of mine, too headstrong. I really would love to sit and write, and not worry about what other people will think of my writing... my poetry is my only freedom of the pressures of the outside world. I have tried to write prose, but I am never pleased with how it turns out. It's always too choppy, and just, not perfect. I can never reach the point where I am happy with my prose, the way I can with my poetry. I wonder if that tells me something about myself. I have never felt that I can achieve perfection, in anything, but I have always been able to at least achieve peace with my poetry, so that I feel that it is just where I want it, that adding anything else would ruin it. Sometimes with my older pieces I may be willing to change some things, but generally after my multiple drafts, I achieve what I set out to achieve. I only wish that I could do that with my writing. Right now my father is over seas, somewhere in the Middle East, most likely in Iraq. I wrote a poem the other day, I wish I had it with me, about the pain that the military family goes through... the amazing thing is that I wrote it all at once... never went back to review it, rewrite it, I felt like it was just right, exactly what needed to be said. The only problem was, I had to rewrite my letter so many times over, I couldn't get out what I wanted to say... all I had was that poem, in its simplicity, that poem said it all, everything that I needed to say was there. I only wish prose came to me that way.

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