Fighting the Current

disappointed

::sigh:: I tried and I failed miserably. I messed up on parts of the piece I have never had a problem with. There were two judges with their backs turned. How the hell is that more intimidating to me than 200 people looking right at me?! That was probably the worst I have ever played.

I blanked on one of the scales entirely and pretty much made it up as I went along.

Maybe they had good things to say about my sight-reading?... That wasn't enough to save the audition though.

My chromatic sucked.

I wish I had known about the scales earlier...

The first part of the audition was the piece (down the tubes...). The second part was sight-reading (eh, could have done better) and scales (awful). There were different judges for the two parts (and 45 minutes in between). The one judge said a too emphatic "Thank you" when I left... I think they were very annoyed with me (especially after hearing forty other flutes) and were probably wondering what the hell I was doing there.

And sitting there waiting from 8 to 11 AM did nothing for me. The flutes were the last to go.

Feeling slightly sick to my stomach.

Oh well. If I didn't make it, I didn't make it. No big deal. I'm just really frustrated with myself right now.

Good news though. We got pain killers and Lyme medication (blood tests haven't come back yet, so precautionary only right now) for my dog. I came home today and he bounded (well, stiffly-bounded, which is still better than not being able to walk) to the door. Just worried now that he'll over-do it. Again.

Got two books on inter-library loan today. Been waiting to read them.