A peek at the REAL Thumbster

Kissin'

I read an item that Cookie...(Hiya Cookie)...posted at Rhyssa's port about her first kiss given and her first kiss recieved and it made me think about mine.

Maybe it's a guy thing or maybe they didn't make a big impression on me but I really can't remember either. That's kinda sad. It's not like I've kissed and been kissed so many times that I couldn't be expected to remember something like that. I can narrow it down to several possiblities...that's all...A first kiss should be remembered...I guess this makes me some kinda insensitive mutant freak...That and because I only have one dimple when I smile. I'll understand if you don't want to read any further.

I can't remember my first kiss given, first kiss recieved, first crush, first cuddle, first...I best stop there.

I do remember the first time I fell in love...does that count? It was with an actress on a TV rerun. I don't count it as a crush because of how overpowering the experience was. Does it still count? YES...because as sad as that sounds...that was the only time so far in my life that I was head over heels, lost in irrational, unfamilar, unexpected love...That probably sounds really sad doesn't it?

I've been in love since then...totally and hopelessly committed...Longing for the phone to ring and talking for hours when it did...Leaving little notes around where I knew she would find them...Surprising her at work with a "surprise Thumbsucker appreciation award" and it's accompanying "surprise Thumbsucker appreciation candy or flower".

But that very first time...with my TV rerun Princess...was the only time that I got to experience an endorphin rush that completely captivated me. She was like a favorite song you never want to end. I couldn't get enough of her voice...her image...enough of her.

Thing was I used to watch that series all the time not thinking too much about her...I thought she was attractive but it wasn't until I saw an episode where she sang that I was completely and totally blown away. I kept watching that series until I got the chance to tape that episode again.

Maybe that's the same feeling so many females feel when they first "fall in love".

Awhile ago I saw someone's Britney Spears screen saver and it brought back memories of my "unattainable lady"...so I wrote this poem for me and all the other sad mutant freaks out there who should concentrate on the real ladies and not on the unattainable ones.




UNATTAINABLE

I see you somewhere far off in the mist,
on the unexplored side of tomorrow.
You don't even realize that I exist.
You're a fantasy that I must borrow.

Like Christopher Columbus I've set sail,
hoping to discover and claim your world.
So far my journey's been to no avail.
I'm dead in the water with sails unfurled.

I've never stroked your hair or touched your skin.
I long to make you sigh, to feel you smile my way.
To unbutton you and slip my hand within.
You don't know all the games I like to play.

So much to offer yet you don't see me.
Just one honeybee in a great big hive.
You fly overhead, I'm in the debris.
When will you notice that I am alive?




By the way...I've long since gotten over my infatuation...I'm not a stalker or anything like that...


Funny...but I would really like to be kissed right now...


Can't figure out why...


But I would.