Journal

bitter love

ok i don't get couples. they are each others worlds one minute then the next they are making each other cry. that is a real mystery to me. how people i love so much can cause so much pain.

My friend keshia is really sweet. She used to be a bully to me, tease me and push me around. I really used to hate her. I think we became friends when she joined the football team. She was the only girl on the team and i was a manager. she seemed to get attached to me. i took care of her, i made sure she didn't do anything she wasn't ready for. her cousin and i got really close also. we all got pretty close, and we basicly looked out for one another. we are all oppisites, keshia is very.... masculine, ferron (her cousin) is very, ghetto faboulous and me? well i am just me.

that was a pretty cool year. then we hit highschool. there was this new girl hanging out w/ keshia, and ferron and i didn't really know her or know anything about her but we figured the more the merrier right? then people started to tell us that keshia and the new girl were a couple, naturally we yelled and snapped at those people, this was our friend they were talking about, surely she would tell us? then i saw them walking and they were extremely.... close, and i told them what i had heard and keshia got pissed, i thought she was going to punch me. later i told ferron and she had a mini nervous breakdown. later keshia confessed that her and THE NEW GIRL were in fact a couple. they had been for a couple of months. ok i was shocked. at first i worried, does this mean she likes me? and all that stupid stuff. it was weird but eventually everything fell into a routene. we would all hang out and laugh, the new girl wasn't really part of the group she was like a tag along that was always with us, we tried to include her in our conversations but she never seemed intrested. and when they got all kissy face with each other ferron and i just averted our eyes. but as time passed it became clear that the new girl (delta) was getting more control then keshia. when i moved the 2 of them got kicked out of school for drinking liquor during class.

ferron kept me updated on everything, she told me that delta was getting vioent with keshia, and make no mistake if keshia wanted to hurt anyone she could. delta seemed like a sweet girl. but here she is controling keshia, they got drunk this summer and delta stabbed her! nothing major but still! and ferron told me that keshia gets slapped whenever she doesn't do as delta wishes.

yesterday i went back to my old school and spent the day with them, while ferron and i were looking away delta slapped keshia so hard that keshia got a bloody nose. it was afwul. delta stomped off and keshia tried to cover it all up. ferron was so mad that she was crying. i was just dumbstruck.

in the past we all walked around together and ate lunch together but not that time. the two little love birds went off into their own little cornor. later that day ferron and i confronted keshia. it was afwul, we cornored her, this strong athletic girl who is brave and smart just fell into a trap. we told her everything we were supposed to say, and it was all true but we left the meeting feeling discouraged. i don't think we really got through to her. we saw her after school carrying delta's bag and walking her home.

her response was, "delta loves me, i have been with her for more then a year and that is important to us" she went on to say that she would never hurt delta because all of delta's other relationships were abusive. so i guess now the victim becomes the tormentor?


i feel helpless, i don't know what i can do, keshia won't go to like counseling or anything like that. i am pretty worried.