Sarah's Life

Love 2.0

Don't you hate those moments in your life when everything clicks into place, and you can't believe how blind you've been? Today I figured out why I don't believe in love... or at least why I didn't believe in love. It took someone punching through a wall of mine that I had built so long ago that I don't even remember building it, or having it, to realize why it was there.

I have never dedicated myself to a person entirely, until today. Until about two hours ago, I would always reserve a small portion of myself, hold part of my heart in reserve. It protected me. It kept me from really caring if I ever lost anyone. Up until a few hours ago, I always thought I was safe, that no one could get to me. Nothing was so bad that I couldn't get over it, because I didn't ever let myself get that close.

Why am I like this... That I realized tonight, upon leaving the house of the person that had finally broken through that wall, finally got me to give myself completely. Without giving enough details to let anyone figure out who they are to the point of realizing how I feel about them as of right now, I will say it involves me getting lost at an amusement park when I was very young. And the reaction of the people who were supposed to be there, who were supposed to tell me everything was alright. They didn't, I realized that just because you love someone doesn't mean they love you back, and I walled a part of me off for the rest of my life... until now.

It's like playing tetris with my life right now. I hate it.

Kgirlfae ~ Wanting