Sarah's Life

Love

What is love?

This is the question that I have been asking myself for the past month or so. What is love? What does love mean to me? Is it real? Can it last? Are we all just fooling ourselves into believing that there is something to it than just simple lust? These are the questions I have been pondering, and as of yet, I am still pondering. But this is what I have come to so far. Most of these revelations are new, reached within the last few hours of my life as I know it. I do not know if this is true for everyone, but this is what I believe.

Love is, in a nutshell, all that is important to life. Without it, there is no point, no meaning. Without love in our lives, we have no purpose, no drive. Whether it be the love of a friend, the love of family, or the love of your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/etc. it is all that matters. Everyone must have love in thier lives.

For me, love is unique. It is that feeling when you suddenly feel like the world is RIGHT just because you are around someone you love. When you are out with your friends, having a good time, laughing, that is love. When you are lying in the arms of your lover and the world just suddenly comes into focus... When you catch the eye of that special someone from accross a room and just feel at peace. That is love. But it is more than that. It is knowing that you would do anything to keep your loved one from harm, from pain, and from anything that makes them feel bad. It is crying with them, for them, just because they are crying. It's knowing that you are the only person who can make them feel better, no matter how depressed they are, or how upset they are. Love is safety. It's knowing that you can talk to someone, tell them your deepest secrets, and knowing that they won't hate you for them, or pity you, or make fun of you. Love is kindness, love is compassion. Love is just love.

Is it real? This is one of the tougher questions. Science tells us that love is just a series of chemical reactions in our brain. I'm a person who very much understands science, and at some point in my life, I want to be a scientist. So what do I believe? Do I believe the facts that are presented to me? Or do I follow my heart, and believe that those feelings I had were real? I believe love is real. I have felt it. I have also felt the pain when I've pushed it away. I've done alot of that. I don't think I really believed in love until tonight. But somehow, I always did at the same time. It was always there. I just had to open my eyes and see it.

The tough question is this - Can it last? Goddess, oh how I wish I could believe that love will always last, that it will always survive. But I can't. I have pushed away every person that I've loved. Anyone who has ever gotten close to me, I cut them off from me, I put up walls, and only let them get the occasional glimpse of the real me. Yet, I still find myself praying that it will last. Why? It has to. If I didn't believe that love can survive anything, I wouldn't be here anymore. I don't think I could have survived the past few months without that belief. Love has to last. Without it, I'm dead.

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It's an interesting topic - I plan on writing more about it on a later date. I continue to ponder this question. It is one of great importance to me in my life right now.

And on that note, I would also like to thank the three people who continue to push me into finding the answers to these questions. They know who they are. Without them, I would probably be either crazy or dead right now. Without their fine skills of keeping me sane... Who knows where this fae would be right now... I love them... Though some of them do not know it. The love is there. To the love of a friend, the love of a friend who has become a sibling, and the love of my life. Thank you.

Kgirlfae ~ Wanting