Sarah's Life

What did I do? - Ramble #1

Ramble #1 by the Fae - don't expect this to make any sense!

What did I do to him? I caused him pain. I swore to myself that I would do everything in my power to stop him from hurting, and what did I do? I hurt him more. Am I that heartless? How could I have done this to him? He tells me I have nothing to be sorry for, no reason to ask for his forgivness. Yet, I am putting him through hell. HELL!! And he tells me that he understands and that he will wait. What did I do to deserve him? And what did I do to my angel-in-disguise? I hurt him. I pulled his heart (still beating) out of his chest. And he says that I've done nothing wrong, that I should not feel guilty. I have caused him pain. I swore I could never do that. Never yet I did. I caused him more pain that I ever could have imagined. And he does not hold me at fault. I am not worthy of such love. How can I ever deserve him? What did I ever do? I say I am not worthy, and he insists that I am, that I am worth more that he could ever express. But I am not deserving of such praise. I deserve to be flung itno a pit of snakes, or lions, for what I've done to him. He says all of this, though I can hear the pain in his voice. He says it all calmly, cooly, only rarely losing his composure. I have caused him this pain. What have I done? I am not worthy. Not worthy. I'm sorry my love. You'll tell me not to be, you'll insist I have no reason to be, but I am. I am more sorry than words can say. My love, my dearest, I would have done anything to keep you from pain. And I caused you more. I'm sorry. I am not worthy of your love.

I love you.

Kgirlfae ~ Wanting