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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/1074077-Unlikely-Connections
Rated: 18+ · Book · Comedy · #2312723
The Guinea Pig Files. Tales of Ralph, Toby and Graham
#1074077 added July 17, 2024 at 3:31pm
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Unlikely Connections
Today on the WDC Newsfeed Prof Ludwig von Adherennium explores the unlikely connections between a wartime banjo racket, a unique American delivery service and a trio of juggled window cleaning cavies.

In World War II the Allies campaign to defeat their enemies was much strengthened by cheery window cleaner George 'Turned Out Nice Again' Formby. Though bombing raids made it necessary to tape up windows to protect folks from flying glass, it was up to George to make sure that the bits between the tapes were bright and clear. But this hero of bucket and cloth fame had a dark side that was only hinted at during the war years. With his irritating ingratiating instantly recognisable catch phrase, Formby spent a lot of his time up ladders as a peeping tom. Oft times he was to be found hanging around on street corners, waiting for ladies to pass by. He had a penchant for smaller women, calling them 'little ladies'.

Despite government efforts to keep his activities under wraps, Formby was quite blatant about them, and took to stage and screen to sing about what he got up to. For this he used a banjolele, and he made a right racket with it.

After the war George emigrated to America, where, eleven years after his death, and heavily disguised to avoid being picked up by any one of a dozen agencies seeking to prosecute him for his atrocities, he took a part in a John Boorman film about a Georgian food delivery firm specialising in pig products, "Everything but the squeal."

Formby's battle with a McDonald's clown was heavily edited when the film was first released to avoid the censors who were known not to look kindly on that kind of twang. Retrospectively John Lennon recorded himself saying 'Turned out Nice Again' and had it played backwards over a track of George Harrison strumming in a hammock or something. It is not known what the relevance of this was.

Fast forwards to the twenty-first century and WDC regulars were last night treated(?) to the unlikely sight of three guinea pigs dressed in small boiler suits and clutching small sponges gweeping happily to the tune of 'Free As A Bird' by The Beatles.
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