Porthole

This is not the blog I really need to write someday.

My disappointment deepens but more important things get in the way.

I need to state unequivocally what I stand for. I'm being misunderstood and mislabeled by many here at WDC, a social-media site where the white-anglo narrative drowns out other voices. There are reasons why the minorities and marginalized members send each other emails and private comments rather than stoke the embers by really stating what they think in blogs and/or on the Newsfeed.

It's hard to know what others think if the aren't sharing their thoughts.

Some presumptions about sex:

That you're male or female based on your name.
That your gender aligns with your biological body.
That your sexual orientation can be discerned by how you write.
That the above are discrete categories that can be labeled.

That you're 'one of us' or 'one of them'.

That what matters to you matters to others. (So much drama about plumbing)

I struggle with this one because I'm a blogger and a traveler and people's eye glaze over when I speak as it's not a part of their world. Eating, watching reruns, cheering the local team ... is ... but, at least among old people sharing our ailments helps us connect with those who may have a solution.

Basically folks make the presumptions that you are:

either Christian or anti-Christian (because that's how many black/white Christians think);
monolingual or English first language because we use mostly English on this website;
that you're White or that you're identity is White or that White is somehow better;
that people can't be more than one thing at the same time;
that people can't get along and don't have friends/family who are different.

I am guilty of specific presumptions but I grew up in a culture similar to the former president where everyone one was a nigger or a good nigger depending on whether you were friends or not. Same with kike, faggot, pinko, raghead, fatso, wetback... I did not grow up among refined people and didn't totally appreciate how good they were regardless of how crude they were. I was kept under lock-and-key. But I broke out.

Many writers here have narrow experiences due to upbringing, poverty, fear of others, or just the society or culture they choose (mostly) choose to live with. Many neighborhoods, schools, churches are mono-cultural.

How do I know this? I read blogs. Sooner than later beliefs and life experiences come to light as a blogger has to blog about something! Even writing this I'm aware I have nothing to write about because I'm doing nothing. I barely go out. It was covid, freezing cold, my swollen eye, the ice... always some excuse. What am I going to say that I haven't said before ad nauseum. My world is small when I sit at home.

Yesterday, I sat with Nancy (who I don't know); she's my age and moving to a smaller 3 bedroom house (I live in two rooms)... she has tons of stuff to get rid of because her husband was a contractor but died in an accident at age 62. They had plans... now she doesn't. Her life is very different than mine. Maybe she'll share memories of Thailand from 40 years ago when she traveled with family... maybe not. I'll find some way to connect as I try to navigate the mindfield of politics and religion.

To avoid unpleasantries (they are draining) we stick to safe topics. Among writers the 'safe' discussions revolve around commas. Should I bother to mention that Thai doesn't use them? That words are written together, that a space is used instead of a period, that they communicate quite well thank-you without having 20 words for snow? I wonder whether they think English speakers are disrespectful for not having a dozen pronouns indicating status and relationships.

So, yeah, how can you know what my value system is when I don't clearly state it in your language in a way you'll understand? And how can you understand if you don't have any experience with where-I'm-coming-from? Many elders are lacking certain experiences and many young folks haven't had the chance; sadly, many IRL and at WDC will never seek those experiences. I for one will never go bungie-jumping... just like people here are frightened by strangers.

I do need to write that blog or essay. Someday... not today.

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