Porthole

setting myself free ...

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free, and to find out that the prisoner was you." ---Lewis Smedes

I don't think I'm there. I still struggle with nightmares.

With the traumas it might help me to focus on healing and not on blame or shame; but, traumas are tricky. I jump first (a defensive response) and then must remind myself that I'm okay and that bad things from the past do not repeat themselves (and if they do not in the same way).

How do I forgive myself for my ignorance and innocence or how I dealt with abandoning both without support nor guidance. How to just accept that that was then and I can make different choices now. "When we know better we do better" (Maya Angelou).

One thing I could do... reconnect with 'friends' and 'foes' from my past.

From "Blogging Circle of Friends " : What was/ is your favorite memory of doing something with your family? How many generations participated? How important do you feel these hands on activities are in a child's life?

Oh, I think any time spent as a family is important. Manual tasks are very grounding. As a daydreamer, gardening helped a lot. As does writing by hand (I'm back to journaling). Nowadays, cooking for myself.

Growing up? We didn't do much together. I gardened... mostly by myself. My sister and I played together. But working together to get something done? Not so much. I wanted to be left alone. I was 'happy' to be invisible. My grandparents lived far away. My one maternal aunt lived fairly close and we did visit my father's cousins... but very hard to remember anything we did together. As a child I was small, scrawny, weak and basically couldn't see. Not a cheerful memory. I also withdrew and went silent around family as I wasn't allowed to say much to them. Very shy.

I think family activities are important. I just don't have many memories of them.

Stolen from 💙 Carly:



Today's trinket was made by Sunny

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