Linericks

Was based on a Shakespearean quote (deemac )

swift of wit wasn't hard // when I called on the Bard (Rhyssa )

Willie approved, but I shall not gloat. (Dad )

Is it t'holiday that kept writers away? (DS )

Did they find other word games to play? (deemac )

So they'll come back again. //. Should I offer them gin? (Dad )

Better not, in case rhymes go astray. (deemac )

A clumsy old baker played Rust, (DS )

His baguettes he dropped in the dust (Dad )

he said "five second rule" // and then set them to cool (Rhyssa )

Adding Multigrain seed sign I trust ... (Roscoe )

.Her cookies I expected to be delicious (Dad )

They turned out to be quite atrocious (Dad )

My esteem for her tumbled / in same way cookies crumbled (Roscoe )

'Twas sugar-caster-calorific-eggs-vanilla-docious! (deemac )

I'm gonna show off my handstand (Dad )

While appearing on American Bandstand (Dad )

Gonna knock them for six /with my breakdancing tricks (Roscoe )

My performance will make every fan stand. (deemac )

while learning to knit a wool sock (Rhyssa )

I was watching a film by Hitchcock (deemac )

I got Vertigo / looking out Rear Window (Dad )

Now my sock'd fit the ear of Mr Spock. (deemac )

Said I, 'the C-word' gets closer each day, (DS )

Presents for Grandkids for which I must pay. (Dad )

Video games is their cry / no cheap toy can I buy (Dad )

With luck, might be paid off by May. (deemac )

But first, a turkey we shall eat (Dad )

with stuffing and yeast rolls and sweets (Rhyssa )

With leftovers no worries / we shall have them in curries (Roscoe )

Eating 'til we can't stand on our feets. (DS )

After turkey comes American football (Dad )

an oversized behemoth free-for-all (Dad )

Well it's great for a fan // But not for this man, (DS )

I prefer bona fide pub crawl ... (Roscoe )

The day is coming for us Yanks (Dad )

the day upon which we give thanks (Dad )

There'll be Turkey & Yams // And musical Jams, (DS )

and lots of our kin who are cranks (Solace.Bring )

An old friend called by today (deemac )

A suggestion she wanted to display. (Dad )

she was sure she was right // and proclaimed in bright lights: (Rhyssa )

"Deemac! Please come out and play!" (deemac )

Tis said Texas ladies are feisty (deemac )

The kind that guys better be nice tae! (deemac )

If challenged to a fight / they'll scratch and kick and bite (Dad )

Seems an acquired taste, like ice tea (Roscoe )

I'm leaving, on a jet plane (deemac )

and the tune tends to drive me insane (Rhyssa )

Has it ever occurred //. just get on the damned bird (Dad )

To my existence, that song is a bane. (Dad )

OT:. Actually, I rather like the song, but just the same. (Dad )

On topic: Oh, don’t go trashing poor John Denver’s name (Allan Charles )

And have now just arrived here in sunny Spain! (deemac )

John was a great songwriter // and in Flor'da it's brighter (Dad )

Yep, I’m in Flor’da, the heat’s melting my brain (Allan Charles )

Though, for once, the weather is cool (Allan Charles )

So I may change from cotton to wool (deemac )

I’m shivering and freezing // but at least not pollen-wheezing (Allan Charles )

And with my blankets, I’ll still wake up in drool (Allan Charles )

Wreck the mall this Christmas season (Dad )

Smash things up without a reason (Dad )

Come spend with great folly / Last year's hard-earned lolly (deemac )

And then spend rest of winter just freezin' (Roscoe )

Or chill with me in sunny Thailand, (DS )

Go skiing in the Scottish Highlands (deemac )

Fly to Switzerland Friday / Learn to yodel like Heidi (deemac )

Or bask on the beaches in New Zealand (Dad )

D'ya prefer North or South Island? (deemac )

While yodelling one day in the shower (deemac )

the cat, from the noise, did cower. (Dad )

with a yowling protest // I shrank back, underdressed (Rhyssa )

Cat's lucky I wasn't yodelling full power. (deemac )

Off-Topic - Holiday's flying past far too quickly, it'll be Christmas soon and I'll be back home in the cold! This weary old traveller's battery's gone flat, (DS )

Nearly time to hang up his hat (deemac )

I soon turn sixty-five / Thank God I'm still alive (Dad )

A Linerick line-a-day helps with that! (deemac )

With sixty-fifth birthday come Medicare (Dad )

and buy more insurance so you have insurance to spare (Dad )

And can take up sky diving /or perhaps racecar driving (Roscoe )

and reach sixty-six in a motor-chair (Rhyssa )

Next up on my bucket list (deemac )

Is to learn how to dance the twist, (DS )

I threw out my back / thanks to the talent I lack (Dad )

I'd prepaid for the course so was pissed (Roscoe )

The next dance I tried was the tango (deemac )

Looked like I'd eaten a diseased mango. (Dad )

Argentine 'twas not // I moved like a 'bot, (DS )

that was rusty and needing some drain-o (Rhyssa )

So the merengue is the next one I'll try. (Dad )

Nothing could possibly go wrong, said I. (Dad )

And that's how I met / My um, chiropractor, Annette (deemac )

Who always cracks me up, I won't lie (Roscoe )

Christmastime is finally here! (Dad )

May Michael Buble' soon disappear (Dad )

the air's filled with carols // they've turned me quite feral (Rhyssa )

Mom's bought Dad this present, I hear... ... https://youtube.com/shorts/L256hI4oiTQ?si=V8pi9PbcWUddctVl (deemac )

OT: Grrrrrrrrrrrr (Dad )

As 2024 comes to an end (Dad )

Another year younger, I intend. (Dad )

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