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My blog A place for random thoughts |
| I fell in love with the English language in ninth grade. It was because of my teacher, Professor J.D. Huggins. I even signed up for an alternative course, “Business English,” because he was the teacher. In addition to opening up the language for me, Mr. Huggins constantly affirmed my good qualities. He would make occasional comments on what I was doing right…in life as well as in the class. In my senior annual he wrote these words, “Bob, I have a great deal of respect for you.” To this very day, those words are like precious trophies, lovingly placed in the chambers of my heart. |
The Wellness Warrior Discovering the fountain of health A health tip: January 15, 2015 We hear a lot about self-talk. And we realize how important it is. I’ve just discovered a helpful insight on self-talk. Have you met that third little person who lives in you? (I’m not counting the Holy Spirit.) You have your body, your soul (or spirit or whatever) and a third little guy. You may not even be aware of him, but he’s chatting in your ear pretty consistently. He’s the little voice who whispers stuff like, “That was good” when a speaker makes a good point—or “That was stupid” when a speaker makes a bad point. See? He just said to you, “He’s right.” This little guy is delightful. But you don’t have to give him much attention. He’ll be chatting away at you from time to time. There’s the other side of self-talk that we’ve studied quite a bit. I’ll mention it tomorrow. See? Your little guy just said, “Good.” ………………………… A health tip: January 13, 2015 Sometimes I’m not comfortable in the bed at night. I’ve learned a good strategy. I think “Best case scenario.” How would I be more comfortable? Go there. I give it a minute or so and ask the same question: “What would be the best case scenario?” My changes become minute. I don’t stop until I have the best case scenario. And I’m lulled into sleep in the process. Now I’m learning that the same strategy works in every area of life and relationship. May you find your best case scenario. …………………. A health tip: January 12, 2015 I should have known that my body knows what it needs. (I caught on so slowly.) Just look at the ads for new meds. The list of side effects is the longest part. Google Dr. Glidden’s FireYourMDnow.com Then take a look at my website: http://bbuc15.my90forlife.com/. …………………… A health tip: January 12, 2015 I only heard this yesterday. Salt is good for you. Your body needs salt and calcium to process foods. How much salt? Your appetite will tell you. And it will be correct. WHAT? All my life, I’ve eaten salt anyway. I didn’t care enough to give it up. Now I have “permission.” Does anyone know about sugar? I hope sugar is good for you too. ……………………. A health tip: January 10, 2015 This one should be used by college students facing difficult exams. For that matter, anyone can use it when faced with a mental or emotional or physical challenge. (Would you be interested in this?) Put a drop of peppermint oil on a cotton ball. Inhale it now and then. That’s it! That’s even simple enough for ME! Purchase pure peppermint oil from the health food store. It’s in the $7.95 range. While I was at the health food store, the clerk said she also uses it as a healthy drink. (You can Google it to find out why.) She puts a drop or two in a big bottle and sips it all day as her primary beverage. Hmmmmm, would that be better for me than Diet Mountain Dew? Better than pure fruit juices that are LACED with sugar? Here’s to your good health and mine! ……………………….. The Wellness Warrior Tribes and Leadership: January 09, 2015 Did you ever think about this? We’re a tribal society. We are not so very different from ancient man. Think about it. There are people on the fringes. They are looking for people like themselves. Church people are tribes. Sports maniacs are tribes. Salesmen are tribes. You and I are part of tribes—those people who think like we think. Leaders emerge in every tribe. Think about it. There is a huge vacuum of leadership. Have you ever been in a meeting, and the leader failed to show up? What happens? Somebody takes the initiative eventually; or else everyone finally gets up and goes home. Many years ago, I discovered the significance of these facts. They have served me well. Here it is. If anybody (and I mean anybody) makes a reasonably intelligent suggestion, it will probably be accepted. With this knowledge, you and I can be leaders from time to time. Right? ……………………….. January 08, 2015 The Wellness Warrior Discovering the fountain of youth |
| I’m thankful to be living in Mississippi. In 1987, Randy Tompkins called me up and said, “Hey Buck, there’s a church in Brandon, Mississippi looking for an associate pastor. Want me to recommend you?” I said, “Where in the heck is Mississippi?” He said, “You’d be surprised; Mississippi is a well-kept secret. You ought to come and see.” I came; I saw; and I’ve lived here over twenty-seven years! I’ve never lived in a state that long. Think about Mississippi Delta catfish—the finest in the world. Think about gigantic Mississippi Gulf Coast shrimp, brought in fresh daily. Think about antebellum homes and the annual pilgrimage in Natchez. Think about southern hospitality. And think about New Orleans, just a short drive south. |
| Patients on their death bed were questioned about regrets they had or things they would do differently. 1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the most common regret of all. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams. It was due to choices they had made, or not made. 2. I wish I hadn’t work so hard. This came primarily from male patients. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. They regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of work. 3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. 4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. 5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. Fear of change had them pretending that they were content. Deep within, they longed for more laughter and silliness in their life. Knowing these things might make a huge difference in our lives. It has in mine. |
| It was 1965, and I was a college graduate, ready for the next great adventure: Southwestern Baptist Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas. I had never been to Texas. I packed my little Plymouth Valiant with my worldly possessions and departed North Carolina. I was going west, young man! Fort Worth was very good to me. At spring break of 1966, we crammed eight friends into that little Valiant and drove to Miami for Spring Break. In the summer of 1966, I was in the Bahamas with a mission team of seminary students. In the fall of 1966, Margery Rand enrolled in seminary. She was a school teacher from Winona, Minnesota. I think it took us every bit of ten minutes to fall in love. We were married on August 5, 1967 and honeymooned at the world’s fair, “Expo Sixty-Seven” in Montreal. On August 27, 1968, Margery gave me a baby boy named Phillip Gerald, born a Texan in Fort Worth. He returned to Texas after college and lives in Houston today with a beautiful family of four. In the fall of 1971, our family left Fort Worth for Tulsa, Oklahoma to serve full-time on a church staff at last. I brought along a Master of Divinity degree and Master of Religious Education degree. (It was said that I earned two degrees, and Margery gave me the third degree!) Margery brought along Timothy James, to be born in Tulsa on January 23, 1972. It was a cold, icy-snowy morning. The little Buckner family was launched! Yep. Fort Worth was very good to me. |
| Margery loved Christmas more than any human being I’ve ever known. Her boys loved Christmas too; Tim is making that quite clear. This is the fourth house that we owned. It was in the Oak Creek Park subdivision in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma in the early eighties. Yep. That carpet is ORANGE! It didn’t stay that way very long. Margery chose an amazingly beautiful blue carpet. We sat and walked and played on the blue carpet until 1987, when we moved to Mississippi. Our boys had such good friends on this street. John and Danny lived straight across from us. Blake was to the right. And “Baby Jeffie” lived back down the street on the left. Jeff Schuetz was a GIANT of a kid and one of Phil’s best friends. He would be in Phil’s wedding, and he would help Phil get his first job out of USM. I always figured Phil would be safe from any harm as long as he was with “Baby Jeffie.” It was a great neighborhood. We have sweet memories of Oak Creek Park. |
| It was in Cleveland County, North Carolina on the property where my mother was born and raised. Our little family moved back there when I was ten years old, after my grandfather died and left us sixty acres of land. We bought sixty more from an uncle who didn’t want his. My parents had three boys and a girl. I was the second-born son. Then my little sister Sandy was born five years later—all in Vienna, Virginia, just outside D.C. Oh yes, we also had a black collie named Lassie and an assortment of farm animals, including a mule named Jack. We build our house and all of our farm buildings ourselves, from lumber cut from our own wood lands. It was a good way to grow up! |
| Do you know what Greek seasoning is? Neither do I. I’m not a real big French fries person; hopefully you’re not either. But I know that the best French fries in town (maybe in the world) are at Petra’s Grill in Turtle Creek Mall. So I start looking for Greek seasoning. Did I find any NO! So one day I spoke to the guy who stands at the entry to Petra’s Grill. I asked him how they make those fries—where they get the Greek seasoning. He was real vague. “They just use some garlic salt, pepper, and a couple other things.” So now I go to the spice counter. I ask a woman or two—the ones who look like good cooks. No help. One gal said to mix in some Creole seasoning. Do you know what Creole seasoning is? I DO! It will blister your tonsils! I gave it to Tim. But tonight, I NAILED it! I was sniffing every bottle of spice in my cabinet. (It was laborious.) Then I came to chili powder. VOILA! So here’s my Greek seasoning recipe: ½ garlic salt, ¼ Paprika, less than ¼ chili powder, and black pepper to taste. Of course the above amounts are entirely subjective. Experiment around for yourself. Now ladies, if you know exactly what Greek seasoning is and where to find it, DON’T tell me! Mother, please, I’d rather do it myself. And here’s a little tip you’ll like. Don’t start frying up a bunch of stuff just because of my world-famous Greek seasoning. Put a tiny bit of butter on a piece of bread or a hamburger bun, sprinkle on Greek seasoning, and toast it in a toaster oven. Yummmm OMG! Have I come to the point of sharing recipes on Face Book? Please don’t tell my manly friends! By the way, ladies, if you DO know where to get Greek seasoning, I would actually like to know. |
| I was just watching the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon? His guest was Bradley Cooper, and the two of them got to laughing hysterically. For as long as six or seven minutes, they would try to focus on moving forward with the interview; then they’d break out laughing again, so hard they’d nearly fall out of their seats. I was rolling in my chair laughing too. Have you ever been there? I have. But for me it was usually in church. First it was with my little brother Clyde. We always had to sit on the second row; my folks were VERY religious. Clyde and I usually did fine. But occasionally, we’d start getting tickled at something. We’d end up nearly strangling with laughter, trying to pretend we weren’t laughing. Have you ever been there? Then you know! It was even worse when Marg and I would do it. I was a paid holy man, for cryin’ out loud! And Marg was this demure little school teacher from Minnesota. When we’d get strangled with laughter at something, we’d invariably be on the second row too. We would try to disappear into our hymn books or behind our bulletins; and nothing would help! Ten minutes later, when we were back to “normal,” we’d glance at each other, and that would start it up again! Have you ever been there? Then you know! |
| It was 1968. Margery and I had been married almost a year. We were students at Southwestern Baptist Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas. The Dallas Cowboys were a huge item in Texas. Legendary coach Tom Landry would lead the Cowboys into unprecedented national fame. With quarterback Roger Staubach, the Cowboys defeated the Miami Dophins 24-3 to win Super Bowl VI in New Orleans, on Jan. 16, 1972. I was a huge Cowboys fan for many years. There was another area of fame for the Cowboys. It involved a band of beautiful women known as the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Today, professional football cheerleaders are about as plentiful as popcorn and beer at the game. But way back then? Not so! Many an eyebrow was raised in the hallowed halls of Southwestern Seminary. My hunch is that all those indignant ministers secretly LOVED the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. I did—and still do. Fortunes in football come and go. It will always be so. I still love memories of the Dallas Cowboys glory days. I was thrilled to see them beat Seattle 30 to 23 on Sunday. But, hey—I live in deep-south Mississippi now. Nothing would please me more, on any given Sunday, than to see the New Orleans Saints beat the crap out of the Dallas Cowboys! |
| I don’t hate many things. But there are six words spoken through the media today that I genuinely hate. “You may be entitled to compensation.” Don’t we have enough rampant entitlement without it’s being promoted by a segment of the legal profession? And it’s being VIGOROUSLY promoted! I think it all started with a suuper-smart lawyer named Richard. Most of us know (and dread) his signature statement, “One call—that’s all.” Notice that I’m not mentioning his full name. I don’t want him to sue ME! And I certainly don’t want him to cook up a class action lawsuit against me with each person who is irritated by this post. I believe that American commerce is being damaged by these (greedy?) class-action lawsuits. So hear my hearty “THANK YOU” to each lawyer and each law firm who chooses a higher legal calling. And that’s all I have to say about that. |
| I watched “Hunger Games” again today. It wasn’t my first time, and it won’t be my last. I have also watched “Hunger Games: Catching Fire,” and I can’t wait for “Mockingjay Part One.” Sure enough, Donald Southerland still made the statement, “Hope is the only thing stronger than fear.” And, sure enough, I still disagree. I believe that love is stronger than fear. I happen to believe that love is the most powerful force known to man. It is more powerful than hate. It is more powerful than the thrust of a rocket that launches it into space. Love—the most powerful force known to man. But that’s just me. |
| Are you a person of compulsions? For the most part, I am not. But I do NOT like having an odd number of eggs in a carton. I’m perfectly happy with ten or four or eight eggs in a carton, for instance. But I don’t like having three or five or nine. My typical breakfast is a two egg omelet with bacon and cheese. So I am usually happy with an even number of eggs in the carton. But this morning, I was up early, and I wanted a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Yep, that left three eggs in the carton. It simply irritated me. So I boiled one of the remaining eggs. Now I’m happy again! By the way, I make my own biscuits; you should have breakfast with me some time. Now you’re thinking, “Cholesterol?” Since I love scrambled eggs so much, I did a three month experiment. I ate two eggs a day, seven days a week. There was NO effect on my cholesterol. So I did a one year experiment. I ate two eggs a day whenever I wanted them, which was usually five or six times a week. Again, there was no effect on my cholesterol. By the way, you should try pre-cooked bacon. It is a few cents more, but it is wonderful. You simply place it in the microwave on a paper towel for twenty-eight seconds. Bingo! You have perfect, crisp bacon without a heavy bacon smell all over the house. Thanks to Cousin Kathy, in Shelby, North Carolina, for that little tidbit. I’m a very young seventy-one. Here’s my philosophy of life: if you enjoy a thing, DO IT! |
| My father was Robert William Buckner, born way back in the mountains of North Carolina near Mars Hill in 1915. He lived to be ninety years old and died at home among his family who loved him. There were no unsettled issues; nobody failed to tell him they loved him. His little clan totals sixty-one today. My granddaughter Hazel is number sixty-one. Number sixty-two will be born to Sean and Logan this fall. (Logan is my sister’s granddaughter.) My dad had about a seventh grade formal education. But he was wise and graced with solid common sense. He put three sons and a daughter through college. He once said, “Now boys, just remember: an educated fool is the damn-dest fool you’ll ever meet.” That’s about as close as he ever came to swearing. I could tell you he was a horse-whisperer, but that would sell him short. There was never an animal that didn’t trust and respect him. He loved animals and seemed to know exactly what they needed from him. (He was the same with humans.) By the time he was six years old, he could plow a horse from sunup to sundown. He would never work with a dull tool. He was a carpenter, and his tools were always supremely sharp. Toward the end of his life, I told him I would love to have one of the pocket knives he had worn out. He opened a drawer and said, “Take your pick.” This knife is one of my treasured possessions. I’ve never known a man to wear out a knife so completely before buying his next one. It is a Schrade-Walden, and it will shave the hair on your arm right this minute. In the mid-1930s, Daddy was walking down a street in Mars Hill, North Carolina. He looked over and saw a young woman, on a porch, combing out her long, black hair. Her name was Louise McCraw. They were married for sixty-eight years. Here’s to you, Daddy. May your tribe increase! |
| I think I love Hattiesburg, Mississippi more than life itself. We moved here in 2005, just in time to enjoy Katrina. I had retired early to take care of Margery while we were still young enough to have some fun. It turned out to be one of our better decisions. After Margery’s death on May 27, 2010, I sold our house. I was all done mowing grass. And I moved into this apartment in the Mark V complex. It is strategically located, clean, and beautiful. And if something breaks, I make one phone call, and THEY come and fix it the next day. My city woke up this morning to a brisk and beautiful day. Mississippi is a well-kept secret. It was Randy Tompkins who wooed me here in 1987. I said, “Where in the heck is Mississippi?” He said, “You’d be surprised, Buck. The southern hospitality is first class, and the people will love you to death.” I came; I saw; I moved. It’s an hour-and-a-half to New Orleans; about the same to Mobile, Alabama or Jackson, Mississippi. We call it “The Hub City. I hope to grow old and die in Hattiesburg—no time soon, you understand!  |
| Romans 13: 6-8 lists seven motivational spiritual gifts. You will relate to all of them, but one of them will be your primary life’s motivation. Another one may be your secondary motivation. 1. Phophecy (v.6) This is not seeing the future. This is seeing things as black and white. His primary motivation is to set things right. 2. Ministry (v.7) This person is tireless. He wants to take care of things for you. He is a master at remembering what you like, so he can provide it before you even ask. 3. Teaching (v.7) Here is the researcher—the detail man. He loves to delve into the minutia of a subject, and reveal it clearly. 4. Exhortation (v.8) Here is the encourager! He wants to come along beside you and actually HELP you to succeed. He has practical applications to offer you. 5. Giving (v.8) He loves giving to meet a need. He likes to see his generosity inspire giving in others. He usually has the ability to acquire a lot of resources, so he has a lot to give. 6. Ruling—Administration (v.8) This person is usually a multi-tasker. He can walk into the room and instinctively see what needs to be done. His joy is in organizing things, and seeing them run smoothly. 7. Showing Mercy (v.8) He feels your pain. He also feels your joy. He is extremely sensitive to you, and he desires to heal your hurt. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Things I have learned in living seventy-one years. Bob Buckner 1. Cherish People. They are truly the stuff of life. 2. If I can forgive one or two flaws, I can love anybody. 3. People are People. Don't assign stigma, blame, or inferiority. We are all in this together. 4. In as much as it lies within me, I want to live at peace with all people. 5. Choose your fights wisely. The older I get, the fewer things I am willing to die for. 6. A soft answer turns away wrath. 7. Resentment is a grave enemy. 8. Bitterness is a total waste. It grows and spreads. 9. 'Whom the gods destroy, they first make mad.' 10. Forgiveness is one of life's most redeeming acts. 11. Accentuate the positive. What a great old saying! 12. If you like it, I say so. 13. Practice random acts of kindness. Yes, it's a clich''and a good one. 14. 'Why" is not usually the right question. Try these: 'What's going on here?' 'What can I learn from this?' 'What now?' 15. Life's most important question is simply 'What do I want'What do I really, really want?' If I can answer this question, most everything else falls into place. 16. My way is not the only way. After all, who has a monopoly on truth and wisdom? 17. Make do with what you have. 18. Every loss is a window of opportunity. I must have the grace to look and see it. 19. Every person has vast potential. How joyful it is to help one unleash it. 20. I cannot 'DO' life for somebody else, no matter how badly I want to. 21. There is an amazing vacuum of leadership. If someone makes a reasonably intelligent suggestion, it will likely be followed. 22. An absolute truth opens only one door and closes many doors. A question or a doubt opens many doors. 23. If I cling too tightly to my 'truth' and the real truth comes knocking, I won't open the door. And I will miss the real truth. 24. Respect the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part. 25. Every choice brings change to the one who is chosen. 26. A person I view as evil may not be evil. Chances are he is just broken. 27. Happiness can only be experienced in the present. If I am lucky enough to wake up tomorrow, I will only have another present. 28. As a person thinks in his heart, so is he. 29. We can make a heaven of hell or a hell of heaven. 30. Being right is life's booby prize. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Clyde and I were more than brothers. We were blood brothers. He was eleven months younger than I. Joe was two years older. Sandy was five years younger. Joe was often in a dream world of his own. He was dramatic. He was a story teller. He broke ground for us in most of the childhood rites of passage: going to school, riding a bike, walking to the store to buy something for our mother—things like that. Yep. Clyde and I were blood brothers. We took on the boundless adventures of childhood. We were like roving conquerors. We would also fight like cats and dogs. It always ended quickly, without lingering resentments. Once we were picking blackberries across the creek. Some issue broke out. One of us kicked the other then ran. The other one sailed a rock and hit the runner in the back. The runner yelled out, “You sonofabitch!” The next voice we heard was a loud one. Mother shouted in an angry pitch, “You boys get to this house right this minute!” There was no discussion about what to do next. We got to the house right that minute. Mother was NOT pleased. “Your daddy will take care of you when he gets home.” We were in our bedroom, pretty quiet, when Daddy got home. We were called into the front room to face the music. Mother told us to tell Daddy what we had said. I looked at the floor and mumbled, “Sun-uv-a-bitch.” Daddy paused for a moment. “You boys are using some pretty strong language, aren’t you?” Surprisingly, he didn’t mete out any further punishment. My parents were very wise. They probably figured the hours we spent dreading Daddy’s arrival were adequate for the situation. |
| Tim’s business is “Frames and Panes.” It is on Hardy at 34th, on the same lot as Town and Country Cleaners. When he needs to be out of the shop for an hour or two or a day or two, I’m his cheap labor. I find it interesting that Tim never calls to remind me that I’m supposed to work or to run some errand for him. Why not? Well, in the ten years we’ve worked like this, I have never failed to do what I say I will do. Those of you who know me will affirm this: if I say I will do a thing for you, I will do it—always. It’s not your responsibility to trust someone; it’s their job to earn it. If your spouse or child or colleague asks you, “Don’t you trust me,” the reasonable answer is, “Make me.” |
| I just found this on Facebook. I think it is really good. Here are six common language mistakes and how to keep them from sabotaging your interview: 1. Nonwords Filler words such as "um," "ah," "you know," "OK" or "like" tell the interviewer you're not prepared and make you sound like a Valley Girl (or Boy). A better strategy is to think before you speak, taking pauses and breaths when you lose your train of thought. Everybody utters an occasional "um," but don't let it start every sentence. 2. Up-Talk A singsong or rising inflection at the end of every sentence creates a tentative impression and makes it sound as though you're asking a question instead of making a definitive statement. You need to speak with conviction when selling yourself in an interview. Bring your intonation down when ending a sentence to avoid talking up. 3. Grammatical Errors The interviewer may question your education when you use incorrect grammar or slang. Expressions such as "ain't" "she don't," "me and my friend" and "so I goes to him" aren't appropriate. Be sure you speak in complete sentences and that tenses agree. The interview is not the venue for regional expressions or informality. 4. Sloppy Speech Slurring words together or dropping their endings impairs the clarity of your message. To avoid slurring and increase understanding, speak slowly during an interview. Make a list of commonly mispronounced words, and practice saying them into a tape recorder before the interview. Some common incorrect pronunciations include "aks" for "ask," "ath-a-lete" for "athlete," "wif" for "with" and "dree" for "three." 5. Speed Talking While everybody is a bit anxious during an interview, you don't want your information to fly by like a speeding bullet. A rapid speaking rate is difficult to follow, and speed talkers are seen as nervous. Slow down your racing heart by doing some breathing exercises before the interview. To avoid rushing, listen to the question, and then count two beats in your head before answering. When you finish a sentence, count two beats again before continuing. Don't be afraid of silence. Pausing is an effective communication technique. The interviewer needs a few seconds to process what you just said anyway. 6. Weak Speak Wimpy words modify or water down your conviction and in the end your position. When you pepper a conversation with "hopefully," "perhaps," "I feel," "kind of" and "sort of," the message you convey is a lack of confidence. Use power words such as "I'm confident that," "my track record shows," "I take the position that," "I recommend" or "my goal is." The language you use gives the listener an impression about your level of confidence and conviction. The Bottom Line You don't have to study elocution to speak well. Simply slow down, take time to pronounce all the syllables and leave slang at home. The people most highly sought after are the ones who are succinct in the explanation of their work experience. |
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