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A continuation of my journal "Almost Angelic" |
| Welcome to my life! The ups and downs, ins and outs, tos and fros. Its a crazy ride...hang on! |
So my membership is up for renewal in a few days. And as much as I love WDC I don't think it's in the cards for me to spend money on a membership right now. Plus I'm pretty sure I'm talking to the wind anyway.  But as I was saying, money is super tight right now...all those interviews, plus the car, plus graduation rentals/invitations/etc drained what little money I might have. *sigh* So I'm going to hold off on a WDC paid membership until I (hopefully) start residency on July 1st. Then I will at least have some income and not feel so bad about spending money from my entertainment budget. So if there IS anyone out there that reads this journal...I will post my match results in my username around March 17th. Or you can be my friend on facebook...if you shoot me an e-mail I'll add you as a friend there.So long, and thanks for all the fish...for now. GoCartCherub |
| Yesterday evening the Match program closed and I am in limbo for the next three weeks until Match day. At this point all the second guessing in the world isn't going to help me. But a new anxiety has set in...what if I don't Match? Seriously. I'm out thousands of dollars in interviews. I'm out hundreds of thousands of dollars for med school loans. All my friends and family will know that I failed. And should I happen to get a scramble spot it will be in a place I've never seen nor heard of, and all the faculty, and myself, will know we didn't want each other. I'm starting to have vivid dreams...the bad kind. My misery ends Monday, March 14th. That's when I find out IF I matched. Oh man. What if I don't Match? Seriously. I'm out thousands of dollars... GoCartCherub |
| So its been a bit of a hectic weekend, but all for a good cause. I've mentioned a few times that my car died and I've been shopping around. Well the first several dealers either didn't have what I wanted or the added so much crap to the car that it made something reasonable suddenly beyond my reach. I decided to look farther afield and came across a great deal at a dealership near my parents. I had some free time last week so I drove down and looked at the car. Once I showed them the website price they agreed to honor it, and I talked them down another $300. Basically I got a brand new car with less than 10 miles on it, fully loaded, for $4000 less than MSRP. Pretty sweet, huh? Its my first brand new car so I'm pretty proud of it. Plus its keeping me distracted from Match Day stuff  GoCartCherub |
| I received an e-mail from one of my programs yesterday. It included the lines, "Our Committee wanted you to know that we will be ranking you very high on our match list. Your qualifications make you the applicant we want in our program." This should make me feel really good about matching. Except that it is coming from my #10 program of the 11 I ranked. And the only reason they're ranked at all is because I'd rather go there than be unemployed. So...I'll match. But I'd much rather get an e-mail like that from my top programs. Instead, I have lines like "I believe that ours is the ideal residency program to prepare you for this career" from #4, and "Although we had an unusually high number of outstanding applicants that embody an exceptional blend of personal and professional qualities, you stand among a select group of applicants who left a most outstanding and lasting impression during your visit to @@@@@" from my #2. While both are very nice sentiments they're much more general, and therefore are not really useful. We keep being warned that programs try to manipulate you and make sure that they are ranked highly on EVERY list so that they are the ones that get to "pick and choose". The way The Algorithm works is to ensure that applicants picks are given priority, with the program picks used as a tie breaker. So if they game the system the program then gets to do all the picking, essentially. Argh. This is awful. The algorithm takes 10 minutes to run, and rank lists are due in a week, so really my fate will be decided in 8 days. But I'm being forced to wait a month from now. Argh! GoCartCherub |
| Thirty-two days from now is Match Day. Twenty-nine days from now is NRMP e-mail day. Neither of those things make much sense to those outside the residency hunt, but they're both causing me to lose sleep. The NRMP e-mail day occurs on a Monday. We residency candidates get notified IF we matched. If you don't match then you have to go through the vomit inducing Scramble on Tuesday. So...big day. Match Day is where you find out WHERE you matched...in front of about 500 of your best friends, plus the whole internet and the Birmingham News. Yeah...terrifying. And the school, in all there terrible "wisdom" keeps harping on about back-up plans, and planning for the Scramble, etc. etc. Its enough to convince me that I'll be lucky to even get a match spot because obviously no one would want me. Argh. Thanks school administrators, you're so darn helpful. You understand why I'm losing sleep. GoCartCherub |
| The car search continues, but it got a major kick in the pants today. This morning as I was rushing to work I cranked the truck, it halway turned over...and nothing. Argh!!!!! So I call a friend and she turns around (in heavy traffic) to come pick me up. It turns out that the truck is fine, except that the battery cables like to work themselves loose every now and again. My dad's recommendation to fix this: use a hammer to bang the cable leads down onto the battery tightly. So I would like you to imagine me this afternoon in the drippy cold rain holding a bright pink umbrella in one hand and a large hammer in the other, trepidatiously approaching the open hood of a big 'ole country boy truck. Oh, and I was wearing a purple sweater and earings that tinkle. Somehow that makes it worse. But, for better or worse it worked and I could proceed with my planned errand of the day: test drive a car. So me and 'ole UNfaithful head on out to a nearby Honda dealership. The saleman literally greeted me before I got out of the truck. I stated very plainly that I was NOT going to be buying a car today, but that I would like to test drive a certain model. I then asked about a couple of mechanical specifics in comparing the models they had on the lot. The salesman's eyes got a little wide at that...I'm pretty sure he had assumed I would be completely unknowledgeable. Yeah...like I'm going to spend thousands and thousands of dollars on something I haven't researched. Anyway we take it for a test drive, and I like the car. I'm not 100% in love with it, but it would fit my basic needs. The back seat would be tight for passengers, but manegable for short trips, and it can hold a car seat, which means I can abscond with my nephew.  The majority of the trip he's telling me about all the fantastic deals that Honda is running right now, and how I should jump on them...trying to increase the urgency. I reiterated that I wasn't looking to buy just yet, but that I'm still in the research phase.When we arrive back at the dealership he asks me point blank, "So what can I offer you to get you into a car today?" My response was, "Nothing, as I said before, I'm still researching." He asked why I was waiting if I was planning to pay cash. I told him that once I decided to buy a car that it would take several days to get the cash moved around. At which point he makes the stupid suggestion. "Well, why don't we work on some financing so that you can take the car home today." Really? I understand that car dealerships actually make their money from loans, but who in the world is stupid enough to take out a loan when you can pay in cash? Yes, let me pay MORE for a car when I can pay less, and not have to owe you money. I said, as patiently as I could that I would be paying cash for whatever car I bought, but that I would not be buying a car that day. Then the dude had go "explain the situation" to his manager. The manager proceeded to come over and offer similar deals and I restated that no, I would NOT be buying a car today. I then said my goodbyes and left as quickly as I could before someone could chase me down. I feel kinda like I've been sleazed on and need a shower.  This stuff is no fun at all!GoCartCherub |
| So, so, many things have happened in the last few weeks. I am DONE with interviews. My last interview was yesterday in Philadelphia. It was supposed to be on Thursday but there were about 12 inches of snow between my plane and the runway, so it got pushed back a day. All was well though, as the change actually ended up saving me about $150 in plane tickets, despite the last minute change. Strange, huh? Plus, the interview went really, really well! I loved it, and I hope its my home for the next three years. I went ahead and submitted my Rank Order List, even though its not due until February 23rd. I've been ranking the programs as I went, so the final order was easy enough to finalize. Now I don't have to think about it until 47 days from now when I find out where I match. (FORTY-SEVEN DAYS!!!!!!!) No last minute rank order changes for me! I also am in need of a new car...about two months too early, unfortunately. About a week and a half ago my car died right in the middle of rush hour traffic. It took about 2 1/2 hours to get home that night.  Turns out my transmission died. Since the car is only worth about $1200 a $4-5000 transmission is not in the cards. So goodbye to G-Mama. We rather loathed each other, but I wish you hadn't died...yet. This will make my third car in four years. Eeep! I rented a car that first weekend and suckered a friend into driving down to Montgomery with me to pick up a truck I'm renting from my parents for now. (Don't worry, I paid him in cheesecake.) But of course this means I've been putting in large amounts of time into researching a car. I think I'm going to get a Honda Fit. Its a 4-door hatchback. It looks dead useful, plus a shorter length of car would be better in the city, and it still manages to be 4 doors, which I insist upon. I'm working on getting financing through my bank so I don't have to take whatever the dealer is offering. Plus I've been hitting Consumer Reports pretty hard so I can be a well informed shopper. Plus, I plan to walk away if the deal sucks. No need to rush such a major purchase. Unless, of course, you happen to want to buy me a new car. I'll gladly spend your money. Well, that's it for now. I'm sure my cortisol levels will be sky rocketing in the next few weeks, but Match Day is almost here! I'm so excited! GoCartCherub |
| So its rather old news that women are attracted to men whose pheromones vary greatly from their own. As pheromones are influnced by the Major Histocompatability Complex (part of the immune system) different pheromones means different immune system markers...resulting in genetically superior immune systems in any babies that might result from said attraction. Right. So apparently Axe (yes that body wash that supposedly makes women go crazy, but really makes you sneeze) conducted market research into scent preferences and found that women vary by region. http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2011/01/13/the-power-of-smell-in-picking-sex-... Here are the scents that women found most preferable by region: 1. New York – coffee 2. Los Angeles – lavender 3. Chicago – vanilla 4. Houston – barbeque 5. Atlanta – cherry 6. Phoenix – eucalyptus 7. Philadelphia – clean laundry 8. Dallas – smoke/fireplace 9. San Diego – suntan lotion/ocean 10. Minneapolis-St. Paul – cut grass You know what's funny? My all time favorite smell, the scent that is currently present in my own home and car, the thing I love to smell more than anything else...clean laundry. (Yeah...I know). I'm not talking about the perfume-y gross smell, in fact I use unscented dryer sheet. Rather I'm talking about that lack of nasty B.O., soap, and lovely warm clothes fresh from the dryer smell. Lovely! But really, when you hug a friend or loved one and they smell clean part of that smell is from this morning's shower, but part of it is from their laundry. Same thing with a man you're dating- you notice when their clothes smell clean...and you cut the date short when their clothes DON'T smell clean. This is not to say I don't like some of the other smells listed- I love coffee and vanilla (the real stuff, not the crap they put in lotions marketed toward teenagers), cut grass and smoke quickly evokes my two favorite seasons, and lavender is the heart note of the perfume I favor. Before I even glanced at the towns listed I checked to see if clean laundry were listed. Imagine my suprise to not only see it listed, but to have it be attached to a city I happen to be favoring currently!  Apparently it's fate! I should fit right in with the rest of the town. Now, if only I could manage to Match there AND find a man who smells like clean laundry my life would be complete. GoCartCherub |
| In three weeks a good friend is expecting her first child. In two months and six days I will know where the next three years of my life will be spent. In four months and four days I will finally earn the title of "Doctor". And in six months and five days I will (hopefully) be present as one of my dearest friends takes vows and is married to the man she loves. With all these countdowns is it any wonder that each day is full of excitement? This past week I went to an interview in North Carolina. My friend lives about two hours from where I was interviewing so I popped on up there to visit with her. Its been several years since we'd seen each other, but it was just like old times. I got to meet her fiancee, and I can say without reservation that they are a wonderful couple. And I even got to do some bridesmaid duties and went wedding dress shopping! (Even if its not your dress its still fun!) We went to three stores, one of which was truly scary. At the third place she revisited a dress she'd tried on before and all others paled in comparison. I know it's cliche to say that she glowed, but she really did. She looked gorgeous in several of the dresses but in this one she just looked like she never wanted to take it off. So that was that, and she ordered the dress. And once she'd put the order in they let us take pictures of her in the dress...too bad all we had were camera phones! It's great to be excited about the things in your own life, but I'm finding its even more wonderful to be excited about the things happening in your friends lives. So, dear reader, what exciting thing is happening in your life? GoCartCherub |
| I've always had a hard time putting myself forward. I'm not shy, but I don't like to toot my own horn. I even have a hard time asking people for letters of rec because I always feel like its somehow shameful to make other people do stuff like that for you. However a few days before Christmas I decided to go out on a limb. My med school had e-mailed us suggesting that if there were a few interviews you still wanted to get, but hadn't yet heard from the program, that you e-mail the program director indicating your interest. So after some serious thought I decided to risk it as there was absolutely no cost...except to my pride, and huge possible benefits. I e-mailed two programs since the e-mail essentially states that I'd be willing to come for a last minute interview, which could cost HUGE bucks since both would be a plane trip. On Monday the program director for one of the programs e-mailed me personally (most e-mails go through the application system service) and invited me for an interview! I'm so excited becausee this program is a medium university program, so it has more prestige, it has a great patient population, its in a city I LOVE, and I really like how they have their program organized. Plus I have name recongnition with the program director now, and she apparently thought well enough of my contacting her to e-mail me while she was on vacation. In short it has come to represent all the things I've been looking for in a residency. That same day I was also contacted via the more traditional route for another program and invited for an interview!That brings my total number of interview invites to eleven! That is by no means a fantastic record- I essentially was offered interviews at one of every three programs I applied to. But this does allow me to drop an interview that was going to be very expensive in favor for an interview where there will be no airfare and no hotel cost- just 8 hours of driving  But hey, at least I get to spend time with a good friend and participate in some bridesmaid duties!Match Day is less than three months away! I was having trouble ranking programs, but these recent interview offers have helped me to feel more confident and excited about my probable rankings. Now, we just have to hope I don't flub up these interviews! GoCartCherub |
| I have the best pillows in the world. Really. Do you know how I know that? I've now slept on pretty much every pillow available. Trust me, mine are the best. Yes, I am home, for now, from my "world" travels. There was the 15 hour trip to Portland, including a 10 hour fast. There was the 4 hour flight delay in Chicago which meant I sat on a hard floor the entire time and missed a resident mixer. There was the mix up over airports and getting on the train headed in the wrong direction. But there was also beautiful scenery, fun people, new friends as well as old friends, and some holiday shopping! Plus I think my interviews went well. Still, I do have the best pillows in the world and since the next leg of my holiday travels include a car trip I'm taking them with me! No more lumpy hard pillows that give you headaches. I want my soft, and perfectly dented pillows for as long as I can hang onto them! GoCartCherub |
| Here's the problem with all these interviews- they're making it harder, not easier to decide where to go! There are a couple of things I'm looking for in a program: I want a good education, of course. But the things that feed into that are lecture series, teaching faculty, department stability and strength, etc. Since I'm still subject to board exams I do want to be sure there is a good pass rate, as well as support. I also want to actually like the people I work with. So far I have yet to meet a resident I didn't like. Either I'm really easy to win over, the programs have been doing a really good job of keeping jerks away from applicants, or internal medicine residents just jive well with my personality. I'm looking at what my future career development opportunities are. Since I'm not 100% sure what I want to do when I grow up I need a program that gives me good support in a couple of different ways- I need good outpatient clinic experience, as well as enough opportunities for research and electives in 1st and 2nd year to put myself in a competitive position for fellowships. I want to be well rounded, but not limited. Lastly, I want to like where I'm going to live. When I do have time for social activities I want to make sure I actually have fun and can do things I like. And the things I like are museums, theater, hole-in-the wall restaurants, and cultural events. I do like a sprinkling of hiking, boating, and skiing but at heart I think I'm truly a city girl- at least for now! So what's the problem? In short all my programs, except one, meet all of those goals fairly well. In terms of academics some programs are stronger at training in test-taking, some in lecturing, and some in faculty teaching. No program has everything, but they all have perks. They all have good career development opportunities- some lean more towards primary care and others lean more towards fellowship, except for my "back-up" program which is heavily weighted towards primary care. As far as lifestyle...well there is a definite hierarchy in my mind, but should that be the deciding factor? I don't know at this point. And with each interview I'm getting more and more confused! GoCartCherub |
| I am about to begin my career as a pinball in earnest. My schedule over the next two and a half weeks: Thursday/Tomorrow: fly to upstate PA Friday: interview, fly back home Saturday: drive to Mom's place with the cat to co-host Christmas party Sunday: return home Tuesday: fly to Portland, OR Wednesday: interview, mixer with the residents Thursday: fly to Long Island Friday: interview, fly to Chicago Tuesday: interview Wednesday: fly home, drive to Mom's place Thursday: drive with Mom to brother's place Friday: Christmas with the family Sunday: drive with Mom back to Mom's place Monday: go home with cat Somewhere in there I need to do Christmas shopping.  But I do get to spend most of 4 days with one of my closest friends from undergrad!! Yay Chicago! Still, I'm rather exhausted just looking at that schedule! GoCartCherub |
| Now that I have become a frequent flier I'm noticing some interesting plane etiquitte rules. For example: The chair backs are not there for you to grab onto! Someone's head is resting there and when you use the headrest to heave your 250 lb frame up you not only pull the hair of the poor young interviewee in front of you, you scare the crap out of her and wake her from her much needed nap. Cell phones should always be on vibrate or silent when in public places, especially if you have a non-standard ring. I don't need to hear Justin Beiber or Lady Gaga, just like you don't want to hear Jefferson Starship sing "Sara" on my phone. iPod headphones suck. They leak sound like crazy. So man up and get some real headphones so I don't have to listen to your dumb videogame. You ain't as skinny as you think you are. That thing you just hit with your oversize bag was my head. Just because you need a wheelchair to assist you in the airport, or you have kids, or you're in a hurry, or you have a hang nail does not give you leaves to be a rude jackass to other passengers, security personnel, or airline staff. Seperate your children by at least one seat, and then talk to them. I'd rather listen to children conversing with their parents (even if every question is "But why?") than have to listen to two kids bicker and then start crying. Don't cut in line. Remember kindergarten? It was bad form then, and its bad form now. GoCartCherub |
| I started hitting the interview trail for real this past weekend. I flew up to St. Louis, caught a cab to my hotel, unpacked, met up with my fellow applicants and possible future colleagues for dinner, slept as well as I could despite a lumpy pillow, put on my suit and did my best to impress the pants off (not literally!) of my interviewers. The funny thing is that I actually had a lot of fun. Sure its an interview, and I was on my best behavior. But I also feel like I made some good connections. I'm generally a pretty friendly person, which works in my favor during these sorts of situations. I had two interviews with faculty members, as well as a sit down with the program director. It was rather unlike any interview I've ever experienced. First off, I really truly felt like I was being recruited rather than interviewed. The program director had read my entire application and quoted parts of my resume...without looking. He also told me a bit about some of my letters of rec- I was blown away by the compliments. As we sat down he told me "I've been looking forward to meeting you ever since I first read your application." I later told him he shouldn't tell me so many nice things about myself or my ego would never fit through the door. My other interviews were just as positive. Likewise they knew my resume, which is supremely flattering. And they both mentioned how fantastic my letters of rec were.  My first interviewer told me as I left that after meeting me she knew could tell why my LOR were so good. My second interviewer kept me 15 minutes over because "the conversation was so interesting" he lost track of time. Not only were my interviews very positive, but I really liked the program- where it is today, and where it is headed. I liked the residents, the facilities, and the city. I think I have a crush . And after so many weeks and months of self doubt it was wonderful to feel like these people wanted me...ME! I think I have a really good chance of matching there given how much I liked the program, and how much they seemed to like me.I have time off over Thanksgiving, since nobody interviews these few days, but then I do my UAB interview at the beggining of the week, and head up to Philly at the end of the week. After that its upsate PA, Portland OR, Long Island, Chicago, and back to Portland. I may pick up another one or two interviews as well as people start canceling interviews. Phew! I'm exhausted already! GoCartCherub |
| Today is my ten year account birthday! Holy crap, I can't believe it's been 10 years. My time spent on WDC has waxed and waned over the years, but I always come back. I've made some fantastic friends here that I would never have made otherwise. As corny as it sounds this website has been such a blessing in my life. Thank you WDC, from the bottom of my heart. GoCartCherub |
| Interview #2 in Portland! I decided to randomly check my application account and the message center had an invite for me! There's a delay in e-mail forwarding so I got that message hours before I would be notified via e-mail. Between that and the clothes shopping I did this afternoon I'm having a good day! Too bad I'm on call tomorrow! GoCartCherub |
| I've spent the last week and a half in the Medical ICU with some of the sickest patients in the state. For example one of my people has been on a ventilator for 18 days. Another is a young woman with liver failure of unknown etiology. So far I've done things like put in central venous lines in various locations, arterial lines, chest tubes, paracentesis, spinal taps, and lots and lots of cultures. Not to mention playing with vents everyday. The schedule isn't horrible- I get there between 6 and 7 in the morning for prerounds. Sometimes we have a lecture, then we round with the attending. Then I order labs, write notes, contact family, consults, lab techs, etc, and we do any procedures that need to be done. By now its usually noon and time for noon lecture. Then back to the ICU to tie up any loose ends and check out to the person on call. Most days I'm home by 3pm, except for every fifth day when I'm on call and "sleep" in the hospital. My day to day schedule isn't really rough, but it is tough going in 7 days a week. That's right, Saturday and Sunday do NOT mean I get a break. We do, however, get 4 days off over the course of 4 weeks. Today was my first day off in 11 days. It was beautiful. I didn't have an alarm waking me up. I saw sunshine. I went grocery shopping. I read a book. I cleaned my kitchen. I bought plane tickets for an interview. I cooked dinner for myself. I even took a nap! To make the day even better I got an e-mail asking my permission to include some of my writing in a Medical Humanities journal article. Sweet! Funny how such simple things make for such a beautiful day. It was such a good day I felt slightly guilty for my coworkers stuck in the MICU so I made them muffins. I have a feeling I will be popular tomorrow! GoCartCherub |
| We all stress about finances, I know. I know I could improve my spending habits, but in general I'm fairly prudent in how I spend my money. My car is somewhat ghetto because the cheapest car to buy is the one you already own. My TV is about 18 years old and will not get replaced until it stops working and/or I put aside money for a fancier one. I don't have cable because that saves me $50+ a month, likewise I don't have internet because one of my neighbors was kind enough to not put a security code on their internet. I mostly eat at home, but I do love good eats...and sushi ain't cheap! I don't buy lots of clothes, just enough to be presentable on rounds. I don't gamble or go to the movies a lot...but I do buy books. I also have a cat who, as much as we adore each other, really is a luxury for me. So with all this semi-frugal living I HATE that I have so much debt. I understand that education is an investment, but its still depressing to see money constantly going out and never coming in. If you calculate out the number of weeks I'm required to take as a 4th year med student and estimating my hours at 50/week (some are more like 90 hrs, some are more like 35) I SPEND about $16-18 an hour to work, if you just count tuition. You can double that figure if you take into account the fact that I'm borrowing living expenses as well. All that is to say, I'm not excited about figuring out my travel expenses for interviews. Flights are spendy, as are hotel rooms, cabs, and food. Plus its a pain in the ass to try and figure out carry on lugage when you're a girl and limited to three 3oz liquid bottles. Annnnnd...I'm ending my bitchin'. GoCartCherub |
| Slowly inching my way forward toward my goal interview number. I still think I'll be able to get 10-12 interviews, but they're just trickling in for now. I have a feeling I'll pick up a few for January once people start declining some interviews. Cities I'm getting to hit so far: Birmingham, AL Montgomery, AL Philadelphia, PA Allentown, PA Stony Brook, NY Chicago, IL Portland, OR St Louis, MO No real doubles yet, but I'm hoping November 1st provides a windfall. I just wish it were March 17th already!! GoCartCherub |
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