Sorrow Filled Eyes

She sat on the desk starring out the window. She watched as a bluish star winked at her. She felt very alone, her heart ached and her stomach felt empty. Her mind was full of thoughts, and she felt she needed to cry, but she wouldnt. SHe didn't dare cry, because that would mean it was true and she wasnt ready for that yet. Only a few moments ago she was in a room full of people. There were excited and chattery, not a single person knew how she felt.

How could she feel this way? People all around her, and yet she felt so distant. At times she wanted to be with someone, but then when she had company, she wished to be alone again. Now she sat alone, thinking. Just thinking. They were gone. Both of them, She no longer had parents. She no longer had a family. She had forgotten that christmas holiday was near. That's why all the students were excited. But she didnt care, didnt care why they were excited. She hated them. Hated that they could be so happy, hated that they could think about something else, something other than how evil the world was. While she sat here and mourned her mother's death. Just two years before she lost her father. She lost him to a pure-blood wizard. He killed him because he loved her mother, who was a muggle. She saw it, saw it happen in front of her and there was nothing she could do. She feared they would come after her mother and her sister and it happened. She had no grandparents, no aunts and uncles, and no friends of her parents she could live with. She was alone. She did have her sister who was only two years younger but she had to take care of her now, she couldnt simply confide in her, she would be too scared. She had to be brave.

She heard the other students laughing, they didnt know. And if they did, would they care? Probably not. A chill ran down her back. She reached over and grabbed her sweater. She pulled it over her head slowly. And like a butterfly coming out of a cucoon, her head popped out, then her arms. The quarter moon caught her eye. She stood up and walked over to the window and opened it. She stuck her head out and took a deep breath. She felt the cold air nip at her nose. It was coldenough to snow, but hadm't yet. She closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind. But it was no use, she had just as many thoughts running through her mind as before. Where was she going to stay, what money would she have, who would be there whenshe graduates, who's goining to take care of her. Suddenly, a warm hand graped her shoulder, she screamed and almost fell out of the window. The grip got tighter and pulled her back in. She turned around and saw a very cute and rugged guy. He had long, dark hair what kept falling into his eyes, even though he'd flick his head back. Hisface was cleanly shaven. but he wore a warn leather jacket and jeans with holes in the knee. Though he looked like the kid that would beat others up in school, he had a gentle look in his eyes and a soft touch.

"Are you all right," he said in a concerned but manly voice.

"Yeah," She said with more agression than she meant. "Why wouldn't i be," she tried to soften her tone but it didnt work much. Sirius looked at her with caution. She knew what it meant. He wanted to say something, he wanted to talk about it, but she didnt. She wasnt ready yet. "Oh, you mean my mum." She sounded too cheerful. "I'm over it. I'm fine."He stared at her again, this time with concern,

"You can't just get over something like that." He thinks he knows everything, she thought. Thinks he knows what its like. Well, he doesnt. "What would you know," she blurted out. He stepped back in suprise. No one ever talked to Sirius Black like that, no one dared. He was pure-blooded, his parents were rich, and he was tough. No one dared speak to him like that. But then it hit him, he didnt know. Sure his parents treated him a little bad because he was in gryffindor, and because his best friend is a halfblood, but never lost someone he love before.

"I don't know," he said faintly. "I don't know what it's like to loose someone you love. But you have to talk about it." Talk about it. Talk about it, he wanted her to talk about it. Fine.

"Alright, fine. She's dead. She's never coming back. I don't have any more family besides my little sister whom i now have to take care of. I have no one to live with. I dont know if i have any money, and Dumbledore doesnt think any of the muggles that live around my house would take me in. I'm Alone! I have no one! And I'm scared. Scared to be alone. But I'm a gryffindor. I have to be brave, I have to be strong. Especially around you guys and my sister. I can't be weak!" Sirius' eyes only got kinder. She couldn't understand it. She was in his face now, screaming and waving her eyes around. And he didnt move. Why didn't he move.

"You can't understand that," she screamed. "No one can!" And she hit his cheast with her fist. She was fighting back tears now, and she hit him again. "They're both gone!" She was alternating her fists now. Sirius grabbed her arms, she struggled, he pulled her closer. Her eyes welled up with tears, she flung her head into his cheast. She gave a muffled scream whiel tears burst down her face, "why my?" He wrapped his arms tightly around her and they fell to the florr.

"It's ok to cry." She shook her head furiously. "I swear it is," he tried to reassure her. She didn't want to cry, not in front of him. But she felt safe with him.

After she caught her breath she looked up at him, her big brown eyes all swolen and puffy.He lifted his hand to her cheek and gently whiped a tear away. "It's okay to be scared." His soft grey eyes landed on hers. "But you'll never be alone. We, the Maurder's that is, are you friends, we are your family. We will always be here for you." He gave her a kind smile, then his eyes lit up. The way they always do when he gets an idea. He pushed her away from him and reached his hands up to his neck. She sat there on the floor and watched him carfully. He removed his necklace and held it out hin his hand.

"I bought this first year, when i was sorted into Gryffindor." In his hand was a golden lion crest pendant on a matching chain.

"You've never taken that off," she said awkwardly. She was suprised that he would take it off, and she was fighting abck the urge to cry again.

"Yeah. I bought it so it would help me be brave."

"Like you need that," she laughed. He laughed his bark like laugh.

"You'd be suprised. It's usually walking away from a fight that i need reminding." His smile got bigger.

"Right," she snorted. "When have you done that?"

"I've done it," he deffended. She arched an eyebrow at him. "Anyway," he rolled his eyes. "Your getting away from my point. If you wear this, it'll remind you to be brave. And I'll always be with you that way." He reached around her neck and hook the necklace. Then he sat back and admired it. The gold was beautiful against her tan skin, sitting softly against her chest. "Looks good on you," he admitted. She laughed and shined her teeth at him. He barked back. She squezed him tight and they leaned up against the wall. They both closed thier eyes.

"Don't ever let me go," she pleaded.

"I won't," he promised in a whisper and tightened his grip.