Unfinsihed and Untitled

          "Baby, come down here and get your food," I yelled up the stairs of the 2-story house in Harlem, New York to my boyfriend, Deshaun. Deshaun ran down the stairs in record time to see what I’d made. "Morning, babygirl, what you got cooked for me? ," He asked intently. "Morning, papi,I got you some scrambled eggs, pancakes, sausage and orange juice." "Aw shit, you got all my favorites for me." I laughed at his comment...Pleased I’d given him what he’d wanted. We both got our plates of food and full glasses of orange juice and sat at the table. We were having a good breakfast until Deshaun said "Ma, you know I gotta work today, right?" I was in the middle of a pancake when he’d said it. I put down the fork, folded my hands and said, "Baby, you know you need to quit that." By that I was referring to his infamous drug dealing around New York City. But, deep inside I knew Deshaun’s sell of weed, chronic and all other kinds of illegal drugs gave us everything we had now: a beautiful penthouse in New York, three cars that formidably flaunted platinum rims and tinted windows. In addition, Deshaun always bought me the apparel and footwear that most of Harlem’s female population desired, yet, only I’d have. Yet, I can hardly complain about Deshaun’s illegal workings, because I don’t even have a job and he is my boyfriend, so, it’s like I have to back him up. Deshaun was there for me when I got pregnant by him during my senior year of high school and had to drop out. The worst part about the situation was that I lost the baby when some bitches from my high school jumped me. They were covetous because I was going with Deshaun. Lucky for them, the police got to them before I did. By the time I’d lost the baby, my class had already graduated. I could go get my GED but I don’t exactly need to now. Not unless Deshaun leaves or something bad happens to him. But then again, Deshaun always tells me that he won’t do such a thing. I know it sounds whack but, I believe every word. I have a rich trust and love for Deshaun. He gives me hope and I have so much faith in him. There is so much I would do for him. I would probably kill for him. When I was thinking all of these thoughts, Deshaun was steady talking to me . . . not realizing that I was in my own world. I heard him say, ". . . and you know this is just temporary until I can get us out to L.A. and I can start training." "Yeah, yeah, I guess," I responded laconically. He had finished his food by now and I knew what that meant. It was almost 10:30 and time for him to leave. He raised up from his chair and made an attempt to get the last word. "Look, Ana, this is just for now until I get enough bread to move us over to Cali." He walked over to the closet to get his jacket. Before he opened the door, he said: "Love you, baby." I walked to him, gave him a huge hug and a kiss. "Love you," I said in return. "OK, I’m gonna be back by eight. Nine at the latest." "All right, I’ll be here." We kissed one more time. Deshaun then opened the door and left, closing it behind him.
I cleared the table, loaded the dishes to the dishwasher, and went upstairs to clean our room. It took me no longer than 10 minutes to make our bed, put more candy in our dresser candy jar, and put our dirty clothes in the washer. I walked into the bathroom and as soon as I entered it, the first thing I looked at was the bathtub. I saw Deshaun’s drenched wife beater and my soaked thong. I immediately recalled last night with him. Deshaun had just got home from work and was about to take a shower, but I was in there brushing my teeth. He was wearing his wife beater and boxers while I was wearing a Victoria’s Secret bra and thong. I put the toothbrush away and Deshaun was telling me how much he’d missed and thought about me while he was gone. I smiled and he kissed my neck while he ran his fingers up and down my thighs. I started to laugh because I loved when Deshaun did that to me. I turned to face him and he unsnapped my bra just as we kissed another time. Deshaun pulled back from me a minute later and stated that he had an idea. He turned on the shower water and I took his boxers off. We stepped into the shower and he laid me on the bathtub floor. Deshaun pulled off my thong and I took off his wife beater. He slowly slid inside of me and every inch further inside caused me to get louder. He whispered in my ear, "You like that?" "Si, papi, el sentido es muy bueno." Yes, daddy, the feeling is very good. He spoke back to me, "Anna, yo amor tus la voz. Es muy hermosa." Anna, I love your voice. It’s very beautiful. "Ai, papi, yo amor tu." Daddy, I love you. He thrust harder and I stabbed into his back with my fingernails . . . hard. "Damn, ma, is it that good?" I could barely speak so I just said, "Mmm Hmm." Not long after I’d came; Deshaun grabbed my hips firmly and stated, "Anna, I’m about to cum." He already knew I was on birth control and he also knew he didn’t have to pull out. "Mmm . . . do it." He pushed in and out a few more times and soon I felt a warm explosion inside of me. I screamed out Deshaun’s name. "Anna, I swear you got the best pussy." We got up, rinsed off, and we left the bathroom. Every night with Deshaun was like a dream come true. It never mattered whether we were being intimate, holding or tasting each other. I felt that every day and night it was a privilege for me to be with him and to please him. After giving it some thought, I made up my mind to make tonight a beautiful night for us. I finished cleaning the bathroom, put the clean dishes away and folded up the clean clothes. I got dressed and went out to the mall, Tribeca. I went to Virgin Records and got a 70's Body and Soul CD. I went to my favorite lingerie store, Victoria’s Secret, and bought an exotic sky-blue lingerie set and a cashmere see-through covering, and Love Spell because I knew I could seduce him with it. I went to an Adult Novelty Store to get some massage hot oil. I went to the supermarket and bought whipped cream and strawberries. I also bought ingredients to make Deshaun a bang-up dinner. By the time I got back to the house, it was three. I combined all of Deshaun’s favorite foods to make a full course meal, with me for the desert. I made fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, candied yams, and cornbread.
By the time everything was done, it was eight. I took a quick shower and wore my hair down. I slipped into the lingerie set and covering I’d purchased earlier. For the final touch, I sprayed Love Spell on all my pressure points to ensure Deshaun would be able to smell it. Now it was 8:25. I set the table and just as I was finishing; Deshaun called me. "Aye, sweetness," he said in a caring voice, "I’m right up the street so deactivate the security system." "Okay, baby. I’ll do it now." "Yeah, see you soon, mami." As soon as we’d got off the phone, I ran to the security system to deactivate it. I went upstairs to take out the aphrodisiacs I’d bought for us. As soon as I came back downstairs, I turned the lights down low and put the Body and Soul CD, lit some candles, and moments later, Deshaun came in the house. He saw me sitting at the table with the lights low, food cooked and music playing and knew something was special. But, he also knew something I didn’t about the night’s plans. "Damn, Anna! What’s all this for, mami?" "Damn, hi to you too," I said. I walked over to him using my ‘sexy walk’, grabbed his coat from his shoulders and put it in the closet. "Take off your shoes," I whispered into his ear. He took his shoes off and put them in the closet. I hugged and kissed him daintily. "Ai, papi, come over here with mami." I grabbed his hand and walked him to the chair across from mine at the dining room table. He sat down and I asked him if he’d wanted a drink. "Yeah, baby, gimme a Pepsi." I looked at him funny for a second, I then said: "No, no, no, no, no. Don’t you see tonight is special? Tonight we drink as the rich and the famous drink." I went to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of Cristal. "Ooh, I see where you going with that, ma." "I bet you do." I walked over to where he sat and poured the champagne. I went to my seat, sat down, and poured myself a glass. Deshaun took a sip of his Cristal and started staring at me. I was in the middle of getting a fried chicken thigh when I noticed he was looking. "What’s wrong, baby? Why are you looking at me, you should be getting food?" "Man, Anna, you it’s just the fact that you look so beautiful and the food looks mad good but I don’t understand the occasion." I smiled, thanked him and said, "Well, fix your food and I’ll tell you all about it." He fixed a huge plate of food and looked up at me when he was ready to hear what the deal was. I began with, "Deshaun, I really love you . . . you know that. I appreciate everything you have done and continue to do for me. I just wanted to show you that with a great night." Deshaun looked into my eyes and said, "Anna, if you don’t do anything else for me tonight; I want you to say yes." "To what," I asked. He got up from his chair and reached in his jeans pocket. Then, he got down on one knee. I almost choked on a chicken bone! Deshaun opened the little box in his hand and showed me a beautiful gold diamond ring with huge, shiny diamonds. "Brianna, you make me extremely happy. When I’m not around you, you’re all I think about . . . I always want to be with you and I’m not sure if that’s possible but I really would love to have you as my wife. Tears of joy began running down my cheeks. "Brianna, will you marry me?" I let out a big sob and said, "Yes, I will." Deshaun slid the gorgeous ring on my finger and I gave him the longest hug and the biggest kiss. I wiped the tears away from my face and Deshaun noticed I was trembling. "Why you shakin’, baby?" "I’m . . . I’m in shock," I stuttered out. It’s so funny to me how I tried to make tonight special and you proposed to me the same night." "That’s weird to me to," he responded. "But, Anna, you did make tonight special and I love it. But what is more important, I love you." He took my hand with the newly placed ring on it and kissed it. Then, he picked me up and said, "Let’s go upstairs." He began walking away but I stopped him before he could reach the stairs. "Wait, what about the food?" "We’ll come down together later and clean it up." I smiled at him and said, "Okay." Deshaun carefully walked us up the stairs and to our bedroom. When he opened the bedroom door, he saw candles lit on the dressers and the strawberries, massage oil, and all the other stuff I’d bought, he got excited. "Baby," he asked, turning toward me, "you didn’t know I was gonna ask you tonight, right?" I laughed a little at Deshaun’s question. "No, baby, I had no idea." "So it was a complete surprise?" I grabbed his head, kissed him on the forehead and said, "I had no clue." "Aight, ma, I believe that." He grabbed me by my waist and pulled me toward him. I looked up into his eyes and I noticed something that I’d never noticed in all the time I’d known him: Deshaun had breathtakingly beautiful eyes. Not that they were an uncommon color like hazel or green, but they were big and bright and shined in the dimly room. I didn’t mention it to Deshaun, though because we were about to have a ‘moment’. While I was thinking about Deshaun’s puppy dog eyes, he was all over my neck with his hands everywhere he wanted them. He licked me by my ear then whispered to me to get on the bed. I did as he said and as I did, he took his shirt off revealing his toned arms and six-pack. "Ai papi! Me gusta!" I like. He picked up the can of whipped cream, shook it up, and popped the cap off. I giggled a little bit . . . I was excited! He took the covering off of me and sprayed some whipped cream on my chest, thighs and stomach. He topped it off by putting a strawberry in the middle of my stomach. He braced himself and started licking my chest first. He would occasionally suck on a spot causing me to get more turned on each time. When all the whipped cream was gone from my chest, he began to lick my thighs. That felt better than when he was doing my chest! I was starting to get wet now. Deshaun finished off my thighs soon enough and all that was left was my stomach. He slowly moved up to my stomach. He picked up the strawberry with his teeth and brought it up to my face. I opened my mouth and he guided it to me so that when I bit it we kissed. Speaking softly he said, "I’m about to make you dessert." I laughed, not quite knowing his actual intentions. He went back to my stomach and began to slowly caress me with his tongue. That felt the best because he did it so intricately. He got to the bottom of my stomach and I knew he’d spoken but I didn’t know what he’d said. "Que, papi?" What? As soon as I’d said that he pulled at my thong. I lifted up from the bed so he could get it off and he got it off. I thought that maybe he didn’t hear me. "Papi . . . que?" Again he didn’t reply, he was using his hands to spread my legs. I looked at him stupid because he still had his jeans on . . . he definitely wasn’t about to put it in . . . it wasn’t even out! He looked at me and said, "I said, here comes dessert." He locked his arms around my thighs and put his mouth over my pussy. I let out a noise I’d never heard myself make when I felt his tongue on my clit. Deshaun had never eaten me out before and I didn’t know how to react. Before I knew it I was soaking wet and had my nails clamped in the sheets. He proceeded to use his tongue to make me stutter on my words and moan loudly. He was eating me out like he’d done it before . . . but on the other side, how can you mess up? Minutes after he’d started, he had me shaking all over and extremely close to cumming. Almost automatically, Deshaun moved his mouth from between my legs and put two fingers inside of me. He thrust them in and out several times while I shook harder and I came . . . a lot. Deshaun took his fingers out and saw cum on his fingers and said, "Damn, Anna, what the hell?" I looked at him and said, "What you mean ‘what the hell’? It was that good." He said, "Really? You can have it, then." He thought it was funny when he wiped the cum on my inner thigh. I did too but I couldn’t let him know that. "Ugh! That’s so nasty!" He hurriedly got up from the bed and ran into the corner. I got up right after him and ran into the corner with him. He grabbed me as soon as I ran into him and picked me up. Our faces were about 2 inches away from each other and Deshaun was staring into my face. "What you looking at?", I asked him. "How gorgeous you are. I’m proud to be able to say I’m going to marry you." I laughed because I was proud too. Deshaun was a sweetheart. He was smart, he loves me, he was everything I always wanted in a man and so much more. I said, "you’re so sweet, papi". I kissed him and just as he was kissing me back, I felt him get hard and start to push up on me. I was laughing to myself because this nigga really had jumpin’ hormones! "Boy, you know you just wanna throw me on that bed and..."

          "Beat this up. You can’t deny it." And I couldn’t deny it. I wanted to get all up in Anna’s shit ‘cause I knew no nigga could do my girl like I could. And that’s exactly what I told her. "Well, don’t hold back." She French kissed me and that was all I could take from being so close to the pussy, but not being inside it. I ran Anna over to the bed as fast as I could, threw her on it and was having a hard time getting my belt off. I could see Anna staring at me like I was slow as fuck and she said, "Baby . . . do you need some help?" "Naw, baby I got this." "No, you don’t," she said. She did a sexy ass crawl over to me and grabbed my belt buckle. She bit her lip while she undid my buckle slowly. She could make anything look sexy. She got my belt undone and pulled it off of me. She unzipped my pants and at the same time, was licking her lips. I thought Brianna was about to hook a nigga up with some head! I’d only gotten head from her once and that was when we were drunk, so I don’t think she realized she really did it. But she only unzipped my jeans and laid back on the bed all relaxed and shit. "Aw, you want it rough now, don’t you? After me being all sweet to you, you want me to fuck you up." She laughed and opened her legs. I was getting hard as hell her pussy was all phat and shit. And I really wanted to get rough with her ‘cause I ain’t gone lie, man, I was horny. So I pulled my dick out through my boxers and got on top of her. "Whenever you ready, papi," Brianna said. Shit, I was more than ready. I put my dick in her pussy and I don’t think she expected me to put it in so fast because she moaned louder than I ever heard her moan before. I started stroking her hard and fast and I could tell she was feelin’ it. She was scratchin’ up my back, legs wrapped around me and she was so mothafuckin’ loud. I had to let her know, "Anna, I know it feel good . . ." "Real good," she said. I repeated, "I know it feel good, but, you gotta be a little quieter, ma, you right by my ear, you gone make me go deaf." She screamed and I felt her cum. "My fault, papi, but you doin’ what you said." "Which would be?" "Beatin’ it up." I laughed when she said that but I was cut short when I realized I was about to cum. I went faster while I came closer to cummin’. Earlier on she’d contained her noise level, but she got loud again. This time I didn’t say anything to her. I knew how good I was fuckin’ her so I let her let it out. I grabbed her by the ass and came all up in her shit. When I stopped to pull out, she grabbed me back to her and said, "Do it again." Shit, not like I got a problem with that. We fucked all night, too. She got on top and rode, I got it from the back and I had her legs on my shoulders. Pussy good like that, too. We stopped at five in the morning and that was ‘cause I had to work that day. When I woke up that morning, Brianna wasn’t beside me. I got up, brushed my teeth, washed my face and went downstairs. Brianna was throwin’ out all the food she made and already had breakfast on the table for me. Damn, I love this girl. "Anna, what the fuck is you doin’?" She smiled at me and said, "What it look like?" "Look like you wastin’ food." "Oh yeah, I forgot that you don’t throw shit away." "No, I don’t." "Well, it’s no more good. It was out all night sittin’." She had a point. I didn’t argue back. We could always buy more food. I sat down and ate the food. It was really good and it filled me up like I all her meals did. I went back upstairs, took my shower and got dressed and ready to go. I hated leavin’ Anna by herself, but I had to do what I had to do to get that bread and provide for us. I came back downstairs and Anna was loadin’ the dishwasher. I gave her a kiss goodbye and told her I would see her later. I walked out the house to my black Escalade. I got in and called my nigga and partner-in-crime, Chase. "Fuck is up," he said when he picked up the phone. "Shit, I’m ‘sho you know what we gotta do today but you know wasup wit me and Anna." "Aw, shit my nigga ‘bout to be a married man." I’d already told Chase I was gone propose to Anna. Nigga even helped me pick out the ring. "Right," I said. "But look, yo, we got busy shit to be doin’ today. Today the day we was to go to this nigga, Detroit house and he supposed to hookin’ us up with some new people that wanted to buy from us. "Yeah, I know. You ready?" I reached under my seat and felt my AK. "Yeah, I’m on my way." I started the car and backed out. I drove over to Chase’s apartments in the Bronx. He was waitin’ outside and walked over to the SUV when I pulled up. He got in the car and turned on my radio. Jay-Z’s "99 Problems" was on the radio. Chase said, "Man, this shit old, but it’s my theme song." "Nigga you ain’t got no bitches." We drove over to Detroit’s crib. Before we got out of the car, I reached under the seat and put my gun in my pocket, just incase anybody tried to try somethin’ in this man’s house. I got out of the car and Chase got out after me. As we were walking toward Detroit’s house, I heard a car swerve around the corner. I thought it was just a stupid nigga that got his license by mistake so I kept walking but Chase looked around. He said, "What’s good wit’ these fags drivin’ like this is Rush Hour?" I looked up and I saw four niggas get out they car. They were running in our direction and I ain’t know what was up but I reached in my pocket and felt my AK. I saw them pull out guns and point in our direction and I was just about to pull the gun out. . .

          I was in the middle of an episode of Maury when my cell phone rang. It was coming from Chase’s number. Chase barely ever called me unless it was important. I hurriedly picked up. "Yeah, Cha, what’s happening’?" "Get over to the hospital NOW!" "What happened?," I asked. I was really scared ‘cause Chase had an urgency in his voice I’d never heard before. "Deshaun been shot!" "What?! OH MY GOD!" My eyes were watering and I was frantically searching for my keys. I had to go see him! "Fuck," he screamed, "FUCK THEY TAKIN’ SO LONG TO COME GET HIM FOR?! SHIT! I GOTTA TAKE HIM MY DAMN SELF OR HE GONE FUCKIN’ DIE OUT IN THESE STREETS! BRIANNA I GOTTA GET HIM TO THE HOSPITAL NOW OR HE GON’ DIE! I’MMA MEET YOU OVER THERE! GO STRAIGHT TO THE ER!" He hung up the phone. I finally found my keys and tears were streaming down my face. I got in my car and backed out of the garage. I swear I did about 70 mph trying to get to the hospital. I would probably have had to be in the hospital myself by the time I got there. My heart was pounding harder than it ever had before, I was shaking terribly, I could barely see past my tears and my head hurt like hell. I got to the hospital in 10 minutes when usually it would take me 25 minutes. They were the LONGEST 10 minutes IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I got out of the car which I’d illegally parked in front of the ER and ran inside. I didn’t see Chase’s car so I thought I’d beat him there, which wasn’t good. I ran up to the secretary’s desk and I was babbling off words. The bitch was trying to tell me to calm down and tell her what happened! I know it’s her job to help and shit, but OBVIOUSLY she didn’t fuckin’ understand my fiancee had just been shot. And OBVIOUSLY Chase didn’t get Deshaun there yet, because she would KNOW a man that had just been shot had arrived and I was his fiancee. Just as I was about to get LOOSE on the bitch; I heard a man yelling for help and doctors were running out to him with an operation table. I turned around and I knew it was Chase with Deshaun when I saw the SUV. I tried to look, but I couldn’t see much with all the doctors in the way. I ran out towards the SUV and I will never forget what the hell I saw. The Escalade had blood all over the inside and on the floor and had several bullet holes in the windows and exterior. Chase had blood all over his face, hands and clothes. I’d never seen Chase cry before, but he was bawling into the shoulders of someone that had come outside from the ER. It seemed like I looked down at Deshaun on the table in slow motion. He had a bullet stuck in the side of his head and one in his shoulder. He was bleeding profusely and he wasn’t breathing. He looked lifeless. I couldn’t believe this was the man that proposed to me last night. I couldn’t believe this was the man I’d kissed goodbye this morning. And I couldn’t grasp the idea that I might not be getting ready for our wedding, but for Deshaun’s funeral. They’d already started doing work on him while they were rushing him into a room. I heard doctors yelling doctor terms and shit and "Get this man a room!" I screamed and I probably would’ve fallen if Chase didn’t come grab me. He put my head into his shoulder and cradled me like the stranger had done him minutes earlier. He didn’t say anything because he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to tell me Deshaun would make it because his injury was so critical. He also didn’t want to tell me he wouldn’t because miracles do happen. I just had to pray for the best . . . and a miracle. I was still crying and shaking but I wanted to see Deshaun or at least talk to the doctors. I couldn’t do either because they were still working on Deshaun. All I could do was sit and wait. Chase and I sat and waited two hours for a report on Deshaun’s condition. It felt like days; like I would never find out Deshaun’s fate. Chase was telling me about the time when he and Deshaun first met. I liked the idea of hearing about a time when Deshaun was in good condition. Even though it made me a little sad to know he wasn’t in that condition now. A tall slender man came from the room Deshaun was in. He didn’t have the look I expected but he didn’t look pleased either. My heart began to pound again and I sat straight up to listen to what the man had to say that could change my life. He approached me and Chase and asked, "Are you the family of the gunshot wound victim?" He had a soothing voice that the doctors on TV shows had . . . when everything was going to be okay. But this wasn’t TV; it was reality. Deshaun always considered Chase as his ‘brother’, so Chase answered for both of us. "Yeah," he said. He had fear in his voice and I could tell he was trying to hide it. "Well, I’m Doctor Daniel Zimmerman and you are . . ." Again, Chase answered. "Chase Moss and this is Brianna, Deshaun’s fiancee." "And Deshaun would be the victim, am I correct?" I wish this nigga would cut out on all the bullshit and tell me what the fuck was wrong with my baby. He sounded like he was procrastinating and I damn sure didn’t like it. "Yes," Chase answered in my place. "Very well. Deshaun is a very lucky man. We stabilized him and he’s breathing. He’s on a few medicines that numb him up a little and make him go to sleep. His condition is somewhere between poor and stable. That’s pretty good when you have gunshot wounds to the head. The good news is that the bullet didn’t go past his skull and he actually had a gunshot wound to the neck. If it would’ve been about 3 inches down from where it actually hit him, it would’ve hit his trachea and killed him instantly. The bad news is that with injuries like his, he can fall in a coma at anytime during his recovery in this conditon." I shuddered knowing his life was saved by 3 inches and his thick skull. I knew the boy was hardheaded but, damn, it saved his life! Regardless, I was thankful. I asked the doctor if I could go see Deshaun and he gave me permission. Chase said he would get the car and pull it around to the front and meet me in room after he talked to the doctor. I gave him my car keys and went to Deshaun’s room. I slowly opened the door to the room and saw Deshaun laying on the hospital bed. He had a few things hooked up to him, a head bandage and bandages around his chest. I saw a monitor next to his bed with a green line going across it. It was the same monitor they show on hospital shows on TV when the person dies and the line goes flat. I wondered what it was called. I looked at Deshaun again and I wanted to cry but I knew that if I did, I wouldn’t get to see my baby that day. Chase would come in, see me crying and try to get me to leave. I boldly held back my tears and walked towards Deshaun. His eyes were closed and that reminded me of times when I would watch him sleep. He was a beautiful man awake but asleep he was so peaceful. He looked like an angel. I took him by the hand and felt the tears welling up in my eyes. I held them back and began to think. Deshaun would never let anybody get away with this if it were me on that bed. I remembered a time when we were at his one of his friends’ house and Deshaun went to the car to get a CD. While Deshaun was in the car, the mothafucka tried to feel on me! I was fighting my ass off to get away but this was when I was pregnant and couldn’t move too fast. Plus, this nigga was a big nigga. Deshaun came back in the house and saw the guy trying to lift my shirt up and he beat the shit out of the nigga. While the dude was on the ground knocked out; Deshaun called his boys to take it a step further. Chase’s exact words were: "Yeah, we whooped his ass a little bit more, hogtied his ass and dropped the bitch off on his momma’s stoop at two in the morning, ma." He told me the dude would keep his mouth shut about Deshaun because he knew what Deshaun was about. As far as I knew, Deshaun was no nigga to fuck with. And that wasn’t gone change now. The point was, I had to do something. Somebody was gonna pay for this shit.

          I came in the hospital room to find my nigga, Deshaun, laying on the hospital bed lookin’ sleep and Anna with his hand in hers and her with her eyes closed. Is she praying? I was taught not to disturb someone in the middle of prayer, so I waited. She opened her eyes after while and jumped. She didn’t know I was there. "My bad, mami. I ain’t wanna stop you while you was praying." "Oh, no I was praying; I was having a thoughtful moment." "Well, the cab should be here in 5 or so. But, I just got through talkin’ with that Zimmerman dude and he said D gone hafta stay here for like, a week or two. They gone move him to Intensive Care later. I know that prolly ain’t what you wanna here but if it’s gone make him get better then we have to do it." Instead of the reaction of crying I expected, Anna just said, "Okay, that’s fine. He’ll be okay." I ain’t know what to say so I just agreed. "I’m ready," she told me. Brianna went back over to Deshaun and kissed him on his lips and whispered something in his ear. I wanted to know what it was but didn’t bother to ask. I held the door open and Brianna walked out and I walked out behind her. The car was sitting in the parking lot where I’d left it. "I’ma drive," I told her. "Okay." She got in on the passenger side and I got in to drive. I started the car and tried to find a CD I thought Anna might want to listen to. I found Fabolous’ Real Talk CD. I put it in and turned it to track six. Baby featuring Mike Shorey. Brianna didn’t say anything but "Put on your seatbelt." I put my seatbelt on and turned the music up. "Can you be my B-A-B-Y?" Mike Shorey asked all the women listening. I pulled out of the parking lot and went to take Anna home. While we were driving, Brianna turned to me and said, "Somebody gotta go out for this, shit." Did Anna just say what I think she said? I turned the music down to clarify. "What?" "You heard what I said." I did. But I couldn’t believe it. Anna was the sweetest girl I knew besides my momma. Except when you fucked wit’ her. Me and Anna was around the same age and we was always in the same grade. I thought back to a time junior year when Deshaun, me and Anna was sittin at a table eatin’ lunch. We was all jokin’ around and this girl named Tashiela James came to the table and sat down next to Deshaun. Tashiela was a dime piece but she was a hoe. And everybody knew it. Everybody also knew she wanted Deshaun to get her pregnant. Deshaun ain’t want her. "Hey, boo." "I’m not yo’ boo but I will say hi. I ain’t that grimey." Anna was makin’ eyes at me like, "If this bitch try anything. . ." Tashiela laughed and put her hand on D’s thigh. Brianna saw it too. She didn’t say anything, yet. But I could see it in her eyes that she was pissed. Some people had stopped what they were doing because I guess they saw Anna gettin’ heated. There was about to be some shit! Tashiela proceeded in trying to seduce Deshaun. "Papi," she licked her lips, "I can give you so much more than she can." She was Brianna. Two things pissed her off the most and she let it be known. "BITCH! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WIT’ YOU!" She stood up and walked over to Tashiela. "I’M THE ONLY BITCH THAT CALL HIM PAPI!" She grabbed Tashiela by her hair. She pulled her head close to her mouth and yelled in ‘Shiela ear, "YOU HEAR DAT BITCH?!" Tashiela was trying to defend herself but couldn’t. Anna had her hair so hard I guess her head was hurtin’. Then Anna slammed Tashiela’s head into the table. "AND, BITCH, CAN’T NO BITCH LOVE MY MAN MORE THAN I FUCKIN’ CAN!" Each word Anna spoke caused Tashiela’s head to get bashed to the table. "Shit!" Deshaun said. Blood was coming from Tashiela’s head and mouth. Anna was going ballistic. We went to a big school and didn’t have much authority or security to handle all our bad asses so by the time administration got to Tasheila, she was knocked out. D was holdin’ Anna back and I was speechless. "SEE THAT BITCH AIN’T MOVIN’! Y’ALL BITCHES BETTA’ FUCKIN’ LEARN ABOUT DIS’ SHIT!" Administration took Anna to the office and suspended her for 15 days. Tashiela was in the hospital for 2 days and didn’t come back to our school after that. "Chase, nigga, are you paying me any attention?" Brianna was loud when she said that and snapped me out of my thoughts. "I said we gone find this nigga and we gone show him what it is when he fuck wit’ us. But first we got some shit to find out. We gotta know who this dude is, why he wants my baby dead, who he’s reppin’, all that. You feel me?" "Anna, you could just let me and the niggas take him. We got you and D’s back." "Yeah, but Deshaun wouldn’t leave me laying there like that without taking revenge himself." D would never do that to Brianna. He would kill the nigga and laugh at his funeral. But did Brianna know what she was gettin’ into? "We gotta talk about this when we get to the house," I told her. "Okay, I’ll keep thinking of a plan."

          We got to the house ten minutes later. I put the Lexus in the garage and got out the car. "Let me holla at my keys for a minute, Cha." Brianna always called me Cha or Cha-Cha. I tossed her the keys and she opened the side door. We walked into the house and the T.V. was on. Brianna went over to it and turned it off and sat on the floor. I just stood by the side door and felt stupid because I didn’t know what to do. "Chase bring me that notebook and pen on the counter and come sit by me. We gotta devise a plan." I grabbed the pen and notebook and went to sit with Brianna. She took the paper and pen and opened the notebook. "Okay," she said "Tell me what you know about this mothafucka’." "I don’t really know anything to tell you the truth. But I gotta tell you now before you get too deep, there were four dudes that got out of the car." "Yeah, but only one of them shot my baby. They all had to be with the same crew, though, so once we find out who the perpetrator is, then we can get the rest of them so they’ll know who they dealin’ wit." Brianna’s trying to be hard. Trying to be all GANGSTA and everything. I’m surprised she didn’t go and try to pull out some of D’s guns. Did she know Deshaun had guns in the house? Probably not, but if we were really gonna teach some people some shit, she would know soon. "Man, all I can say is that we was goin’ to this nigga Detroit’s house and we was walkin’ up to the door of the house and we turn around and these fools drivin’ crazy and they get out the car and spray." Brianna wrote Detroit’s name and asked me where he lived. "Brooklyn." She scribbled ‘BK’ down next to Detroit’s name, looked at me and said, "Ok, well I’ve got a little bit of a plan but it’s going to develop as we go." "How smart is that?" I asked. "Hm . . . probably not the smartest but we don’t have much to go on." I just looked at her. "Tell you what. As I get details I’ll call you and fill you in and as you get details you call me. Then we’ll know our next move." "Bet." Brianna scribbled down some more stuff on her paper but didn’t tell me what they were. When I asked she just said "Plans in development." And no more was spoken about it. Brianna said I could stay with her at the house that night because we had to ‘take action’ tomorrow. I guess. Anything to help a nigga out. Even if it does mean being able to sleep in the same house wit’ a dimepiece. I wasn’t gonna make any moves on her but I was undoubtedly gonna have a wet dream or two. I made a joke to myself that I was cop by day and porn star by night. I felt grimey but who would know?

          I know Chase probably thinks I’m a crackhead. I laughed to myself. I’m tired tonight and I’m also trying to hide my pain. I told him he could stay with me that night. Hell no, not in the same room. He slept in the guests room. I had big plans for the next day. I hoped I wouldn’t have to do anything too serious. I wanted to help Deshaun but I didn’t want to have to. . .

          The guests room. It’s nice, my own bathroom, TV with digital cable and a computer with High Speed Internet. I don’t even use the internet. Anna told me we would ‘discuss her plan over breakfast in the morning.’ D told me she cook like a grandma. Not like the white grandmas. Like the black grandmas. Soul food granny. Aunt Jemima. Anna definitely had the Aunt Jemima booty. But I had to remember this was my nigga’s girl. We would basically be related soon when they got married. I would have to settle for good ol’ meat beatin’and dreamin’.

          It’s almost 11:30 at night. I’ve been in my room for almost two hours crying. I miss my baby. I was reminiscing on the good times we had. I was already acting like he was dead, it seemed. But no, my baby is coming back to me. We are going to get married. I’m gonna pray. I clasped my hands together, closed my eyes and bowed my head. "God, hi, It’s me Brianna. I know you already know. God what am I gonna do? I want my baby back and I believe the only way to get him back is if I hurt others on the way. But God, will I end up hurting myself? I don’t want that, God. I’m praying to you, to ask that you watch over me and Deshaun. You know how much I love him. He’s my heart. I understand that what’s meant to happen will happen and only you can define the outcome. But God, please let my baby come back to me. Please." I opened my eyes and felt a whole lot better. I finally got to let that out to someone. I pulled the cover up to my chin, turned on my side and closed my eyes. I’m tired.

          It’s two in the morning, now. I hear my doorknob turning. I look up and I see a dark figure come into my room. "I know you’re not a thief or killer," I say to him. The anonymous person sits on the end of my bed without a word. "What do you need, Chase?" Nobody could’ve broken into my house all the damn security we got so who else could it be but Chase? "I need you." "For what? No tissue in the bathroom?" I started to get out of my bed. "I told Deshaun to put . . ." Chase stopped me mid-sentence and said, "Naw, you know what I need you for." I struggled to see Chase in the darkness. He leaned close to me and whispered in my ear, "Lemme hit that, Anna." "What? Let you hit? Aren’t you supposed to be Deshaun’s friend?" I’m surprised I didn’t go off on him when he asked. Maybe he’s joking. But what kind of joke is this? "I am. But aren’t you supposed to be my friend?" "I am." "Well, friends help each other out. I need some pussy. You’re here and I’m here. So why not?" "Because I’m engaged." I held up my hand to show him validation. "Baby, c’mon, what you expect a nigga to ask when you wear them tight Baby Phat jeans and shirts? Or when you wear Louis Vuitton to bed? That’s sexy." Before I even got a chance to say anything, Chase began to kiss me on my neck. "Chase, no," I said, trying to be calm. He put his hands on my thighs. "Chase stop." He moved closer toward me and continued kissing my neck. His hands began to move up my thighs. "Move, Chase, for real." I’m getting heated. If I have to tell him to move one more time and he doesn’t, he will get his ass whooped. "Chase get the hell off me." He ignored my demands and put his tongue between my tities and his hands near my pussy. "Hell naw," I whisper to myself. It feels good, but it’s wrong. Good thing my mind won over my hormones for once. Quickly, yet without much movement, lean over to my night stand, grab a pocketknife I keep behind the lamp and open it. I stuck the blade right into Chase’s side and heard him say, "Shit . . . Anna . . . you stabbed me?" He reached for the knife trying to pull it out of him but I got to it first and pulled it out. Then I stick it into his abdomen. I hear him gurgling blood and it sounds disgusting. I pull the knife out again and just as I raised the knife to stab him once more in this throat . . . I wake up.

          I was sweating and still hard after I busted. "Shit, I got nut all over they bed." I get up to get a washcloth to wipe it up when I hear a soft knock on the door. I hear Anna on the other side of it, "Chase, are you awake?" My first instinct is to be quiet and act like I’m still in bed. My dick is hard and nut is on the bed and I don’t want Anna to see any of this shit. Then my instinct doesn’t matter because I hear the knob turn. I panic and run into the bathroom. I close the door quietly so it seems like I been in here. I got the door closed and I look at it and realize: these niggas got a peephole on the door! I never knew. I’m looking through the peephole and I see Anna look at the bed. Shit! She busted me on bustin’. I hear her say something but I don’t understand what she just said. She’s coming towards the bathroom door! I turn on the sink to make it seem like I’m washing my hands. She knocks on the door but not as gently as she did the bedroom door. I turn off the water, open the door a little and stick my head out. "Oh, I ain’t know you was in here," I lie. "I guess you didn’t. You left some fun on my bed." I pause to think of an excuse. "I had a wet dream. It was wild." It had you in it. "I guess it was. Do you need me to get that off the bed for you?" "No, no, I got it." "Okay," she said suspiciously. "In your dream . . . was I in it?" I got quiet and Brianna is looking at me; waiting for an answer. I’m not gonna lie to this girl. "Yeah, how did you know?" Her face goes from serious to sexy. "I’ve had that dream before. Come out here," she says in a low, soft voice. "I’m good," I respond. She shrugs her shoulders and starts to walk away. I watch intently as she does, too. She stopped in front of the bed and laid on the floor. She opens her housecoat and I see her in her Louis Vuitton bra and panty set. "Damn," I say to myself out loud. I feel myself getting hard again. She goes on, acting like she don’t know I’m watching her. She reaches around the back of her bra and unsnaps it. It falls from her tities and she tosses it across the room. I see her tities from here. She makin’ me mad horny and I can feel the fact that she’s D’s girl drift away. Right now, I gives no fuck. I just wanna go suck on her shit, eat her pussy an’ tap dat ass. I always thought her pussy would taste good so I always wanted to try it. Prolly taste like sweet chocolate or somethin’. After that thought, I can’t contain it anymore. I gotta go do some shit to her. I open the door and run over to her layin’ on the floor. She’s laying there smiling, lookin’ sexier than I knew she could. She opens her legs wide and they’re like a welcome mat for my dick. I pull my shit out and I know it’s at least 10 inches. I’m bout to beat the shit outta her cat. I watch her peel off her booty cuttin’ shorts and open her legs wider. A welcome mat and a neon sign. I get on top of her and slide my monster in. Damn, it go in so easy. She wraps her legs around me and starts pushin’ her hips towards my thrust. I already gotta say this the best pussy I ever had. I gotta taste it. I pull out and get on my knees. She keeps her legs open and I put my head between her legs and she wraps her legs around my neck. I start lickin’ her clit and it feels like Willy Wonka candy on my tongue. "Mmmmmm. . . yeah right there. . ." she says. I stick my tongue inside of her and she grabs onto my head. I eat her out for about 3 minutes after that and then she says, "I’m ‘bout to cum." Damn, that fast? I must be good. I get a few more sucks and licks in and she does this long moan. "Ooh, shit, it’s comin’," she says. I pull my head away from her pussy and stick my dick back in before she comes. I know her shit sensitive now. I’m gonna make her orgasm. I’m about to do a hard push right into her guts when . . .

          I woke up the next day to rain. It wasn’t a storm or anything, though. It was the kind of rain they showed on Downy commercials that people ran through and the rain made their clothes smell like the new Downy scent. A rain that made you calm. I looked at my alarm clock and it read10 :09 A.M. I went into my bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I walked in and looked at the bathtub. I remembered me and Deshaun again and turned my head away. I brushed my teeth without singing in between brushes and washed my face without the usual smile I give myself when I’m done. I left my room and headed toward the guest room where Chase was staying. I stopped at the door and recalled the dream I had the night before. Or should I say the nightmare? After I woke up from it I felt so fucked up, I couldn’t get to sleep for 20 minutes. I just lay in my bed and sang to myself until I fell back to sleep. It felt so real. It seemed real. Why would I dream about Chase? Was it because he was a new person at the house? I decided to put the dream aside. I had more important things to worry about. First, though, I’m gonna wake Chase up and ask him what he wants for breakfast. I knocked gently on the door and heard Chase say, "Yeah," in his regular voice. He must’ve been up for a while. I opened the door and tried to have a playful voice. "What’s really good, yo?" My voice came out scratchy since I hadn’t talked until then. He laughed and said, "Hey, ma, how you doin’?" he asked with his deep, New York accented voice. Chase actually had a nice, smooth voice. A lot of girls in school always liked when he said something nice to them; they would say suck up shit like, "Oh, you sound so sexy!" Or "Try whispering that in my ear, now." Anyway, I cleared my throat and responded, "I’m better. Not 100 percent, but I’m getting there. I won’t be completely fine until I have my baby back." Or my vengeance. "We gone make it, ma." "What you want for breakfast?" "You lookin’ pretty good so, lemme get some of that." I laughed it off but the thoughts of the dream came flooding back.
I remembered the thing with Brianna last night and was half mad it was only a dream. She laughed when I told her I wanted to have her for breakfast. Little did she know, I had a dream about having her for a snack. Then, I told her I just wanted eggs, bacon and some pancakes. "Okay, well go ‘head and get in the shower, get fresh, and I’ll make your food." "Aight." She left the room and I saw her go downstairs. I smiled because she was actually really beautiful even without her hair done and street clothes and all that. Anna was the type of girl you respect. If I fucked her, I would have to marry her or some shit. She wasn’t a girl you just leave like that. She was a bonafide woman. I closed the door and took the boxers and beater I slept in off. I threw them in the clothes hamper and went in the closet to find clothes. They had five white T-shirts and five pairs of Dickie pants for dudes. "Damn, they even be havin’ they guests dressed fresh." I grabbed a pair of black Dickies and a white tee from the closest and tossed it on the bed. I opened the dresser drawers and found sock, boxer, thong, and bra drawers. I pulled out a new pair of boxers and socks. I went into the bathroom and got a fresh towel and washcloth.