Addictions

Addiction...
[Where ever u see a (x#), It means repeat the last line.]


Why am I, wasting my life, away (x4) raised with love and compassion,
I started with so many gifts, so many high hopes, and a shoulder to cry on,
But now I’m here with a needle in my hand, hoping to (just) forget, I have a life to live

I can’t (x4) anymore; I think I really snapped (x2), lost my mind,
A mental breakdown at the age of 17, A mental breakdown (x3)
My emotional ruin; it is hard to see past the tears, but I continue on
Wondering (x2) why… and how… and why! Hoping to find an answer
But I still can’t stand staring at myself, how did I ever fall so far?
(I) can’t stand my own reflection (in the mirror), no matter what I do, I’ll still be the same
The thing I feared the most, the thing I didn’t want to be, is staring back at me
How did I ever fall so far, from who I am, and what I want to be

At the age of 5, I thought I knew what I was going to do, (for the rest of my life)
A Hero, A Cop, A Fireman; not the person, who the cops will chase,
A bad guy who ruins the world for the pure,
How did I ever fall so far? And why am I wasting my life away (x3)

Who’s gonna win me or my addictions, I lived so long under its shelter,
A covered disguised, to keep away the world and my pain,
So I didn’t have to worry, about what haunts me, but it turns out, I was wrong
My best-est friend, turned out to be my worst-est enemy

I get this urge(x2), a urge I can not deny, I will fall back into my addictions
But no, but no I must fight this, If I ever plan to survive, I must live (x2)
I can’t forget the ones that are depending on me
I can’t, I can’t, go on like this…

This is not a game (x2), this is my life!! There is no way to twist reality,
This is real (x2), How can this be so real? (x2) It is not suppose to happen this way
But it did (x2) Oh my fucking god, free me! (x2)
I don’t want to die in a gutter with a needle in my hand, all started from a pipe,
Smoked so so’ long ago, something to past the time, with some good friends near by,
Now I’m in a gutter, with a needle in my hand, wondering why… why..
This is not real, it can’t be…. It could never happen to me……

This can not be happening, it only happens in the movies, or to the other guy
It can never be me, it could only be the other guy, no matter how much it is
nagging in the back of my head, it can, it can be me,
I know I know it could be me, there is no reason why it couldn’t be me
There is nothing special about me,
No holy angel or guardian that could protect me from me
It can’t be me (x2), the one laying on the street,
With the needle in my hand, thinking this isn’t me

Who’s gonna win me or my addictions, I thought I knew who I was,
But this is not who I am, I can’t (x2) do this anymore, this not who I AM!
I want to stare at the mirror, and not be repulsed from the ugly monster
And not to feel this way, but I can’t go on, living this way

I hate myself (x2) I can’t go on living this way, but is there any real way out?
With out having to spill my blood, spill my blood upon the floor,
Then to have my body collapse, and finally feel at peace
But then again I can’t feel nothing, But then again I’m finally [feel/at] fuckin’ peace

Who’s goanna win? me or my addictions, so far I am losing, losing…. losing…
losing the battle, that can not be won. Why do I even fight it?
When it feels so good. When it feels so good. (x2) When it just feels so fuckin’ good

My Sickness (x2) is taking over me,
I can’t breathe, I can’t think, I can’t feel (x2)
The warm tickling touch of smoke in my lungs,
The confidence pulsing through my veins, The ball of the speed, being shot up
This is not me (x2) How can this be me

Who’s gonna win me or my addictions!, and why am I wasting my life away(x2)
I can’t take this anymore (x4) I need, I need freedom from my own mind
Who is winning me or my addictions!, I think I’m winning,
But I will lose in the end, I know this for a fact, I thought I won the war,
But I’m still losing the battles, (here and there)
What is stopping it from escalating, To full blown (out) proportions, once again
I thought I won (x3) but I’m really losing, I saw so many lives wasted away,
But I still continue on this path, even thought I want to break free
My addictions will always win a battle over me

I can’t, I wouldn’t, do this anymore, I am free (x2) but why is this continuing on(x4),
I can’t rely on the outside, I can only look with in; to find the plan for the finally battle
So I can return, not the loser, but as the victor,
But I know the battle will come back to this field, to do battle once again
And who is gonna win this time? Or is there a victor, at all?

AND Why am I wasting my life away(x2), this is not what I want, this is not who I am,
AND Why am I wasting my life away…
I just don’t know(x2) I believe I am stronger then all of this, but then I’m proven wrong
This mental breakdown (x3), this emotional ruin,
Can I get any help… That will truly save me. Not a quick fix,
That will give me some room to breathe, but a true answer, a way to be

Who’s gonna win, (x2) me or my addictions, I don’t know(x2) I don’t care,
I just want to be free, and live a life (x2) where I am happy, - >
Not from forgetting, who I am; Not from forgetting where I was,
and what I’m going through; But live a life, a life, that I am proud of,
And can tell the world, this is who I am,
And I am here to live my life, as I see fit,
and not [guided/masked] (away) by my (own) addictions
So I will never have to say, Why am I wasting my life away,
but what am I going to do today, to finally live my life happy

But the happiness fades away, I go back into my old routine,
Even though I know this is killing me, I go back (x2) Oh my God, I go back
But it is going to end up breaking me, I’m not sure I can recoup this time,
To fortify myself and come back to fight again, this war has taken too much from me,
I got nothing left, to hold me up, I’m about to fall head first into my own grave,
But the battle will keep on going, I must I must win this, even if I have to start a new
Breaking all ties with the past, so I can’t fall back into the traps set some time ago,
I must lose all my friends, I must move on, I must move on, never back
For the future has a new plot, written by me not my mind,
Not the drugs(x2), [at least not anymore/ that once did run it]
I hope to move forward, never back into the past,
So I can stay away from what is killing me

I try to banish these thoughts to paper, so I can breathe free,
And put them away and forget, but it will never leave me, the battle will rage on

But This song will never end (x2), for I can’t stop feeling this way,
Why can’t I stop feeling this way, I don’t know… I don’t know…
I don’t want to feel this way anymore…
Let me be free… Let me be free… Let me be free…
For once and all let me be free, and live my life, live my life in peace and harmony,
Not in this world of betrayals and misdeeds, But this song will never end (x2)
GOD!!!! FUCKING!!!! DAMNIT!!!! This song will never end…. (x2)