the lord of the rings parody

Sam: * goes to walk paths of the dead*
*looks at palantir and rides to minas tirith with gandalf*
*drops palantir, gandalf calla ya a fool of a dude and u cum running bak waving ur hands miming jaaas!*
*aragorn dude gets a big wet fish and smacks rich - the palantir rolls away*
WHAT THE FUCK DO U THINK YOU'RE DOING URE SMELLY BASTARD WHO NEEDS A SHAVE?! *gets a sword and slashes aragorn to pieces*
*aragorn gets reurrected by arwen chick hu both kill rich!*
sammy ressurects rich cuz shes gay
*kills himself cuz hes gay*
*gandalf says noooooo cuz he reali is gay*
gandalf y you shud meet my mate dave
*gets resurected by Gandalf to be bummed but insted he headbutts
aragorn in the balls so he cant have any princes to the throne of gondor*
*arwen chick sleeps wiv pippin instead cuz aragorns no use*
*samwise kisses aragorns balls all betta
*then treebeard*
and has half elven beard babiesthat live in trees
like the woodelves
*scary paths of the dead dude resurrects aargorns balls and aragorn dude and arwen chick bitch slap each other*
*aragorn dude kicks arwen chick to the grey havens*
so anyway Aragorns dead balls fly 2 heaven and the resurrected balls get bited by Gollum and then they popped
while hes sayin "my preciousss"
then faramir comes along
and pulls down his pants to show the crack of doom
hu does he show it to?
gandalf then merry!!
*shows also to arwen hu gets all excited then eowyn cums and boyyyy there's trouble....*
but stupid arwens been kicked to the grey havens
*been kicked bak by luthien in a bitch fight over there*
*elrond appears with camera*
yessss priecoussss to film all the juicy acitons
*all get named and shamed*
*elrond wins 500 leaves!*
*legolas enters and then leaves with treebeard* whats going on here!!?!?!?!?
*elrond follows legolas and treebeard*
*with camera*
*gandalfs ears twitch - cums running*
and legolas and treebeard ends up as a special feature in play girl magazine
legolas and treebeards shennanigans end up all over the world!! ooohhh saucy!!
*elrond becomes rich!*
theyre so saucy they appear on the new dolmio advert
and everyone orders a pizza!
*gandalf appears in harry potter cuz hes so depressed*
and he pizza boy sauron enters with gay intentions
*gandalf has secret affair wiv saruman...but they cant avoid elrond and camera!*
legolas comes back with what looks like a bun in the oven lololol!! and he throws up all over arwens shoes!!
front page of the newspapers 2moro...
*gandalf and saruman get stirrin those sticks!*
lol the bun in the oven pops out of legolas
and its a little hairy aragorn/elf whaaaa happened to treebearD?
sweeps the realm of middle earth -
treebeard in a live confrontation wiv legolas
and elrond and his camera of course
Sauron Springer
sauron! sauron!
saurons thought of the day....
2nite on sauron springer.... you cheated on me you elf bitch!!
*u werent satisfying my needs treebeard!*
*so i had to move on*
*to ur best m8*
aragorn!!!!!
*arwen chick enters*
*aragorn how could you???*
*arwens gets hit with one of treebeards roots 'accidently'*
*he also had me! - gandalf enters*
saruman walks in! *and me*
elrond and camera get excited! and drops it and it breaks shock horror!
but sauron fixes it with his magic powers
and the camera is bak in action!
saruman and treebeard have a bitch slap cuz of their diputes..
..tonight on sauron springer.....gondors king is nothing more than a big fat whore!!!!
*sauron sauron sauron!*
*legolas it was fun while it lasted but i cant keep ur baby*
"excuse me can i ask a question sauron?"
"okay go ahead" says sauron to the very sexy black n white big person
"why the F*ck will u not keep the baby ure bitch?, look at u, u will never have another chance agen with those mouldy old roots ageing back to the dawn of time, i swear tree herders these days!"
*hey man i hump all the guys at the entmoot its gud enuff for them it shud be 4 u!*
*i have to many babies to tend to fellow big person; theyre all half breeds shall i add*
*im not proud of what i do it just happens i just can control my manly roots*
*legolas - ahhh go find ya entwives*
*well i never! i gave you the best 3 seconds of my life*
" ye but look at u ure a big old twiggy freak, u need to shave all that moss off, look whats living in them stupid fool , O YEA ive heard about u and ure hobbit fondling
*treebeard leaves in tears*
*elronds camera cllicking furiously*
*legolas-ahhhh suck it up you big pile of leaves*
" WHY'S he crying for stupid hoe, what does he expect inserting his manly roots into any hole he can find "
*witchking enters*
*sits down in disgust* *i want my husband* *tell me where is treebeard
*witchking sniffs furiously* *you made my husband cry..

not finished yet lol doubt it will eva be