Teenage Wasteland

The sun shone in through the window, harsh and unforgiving. The window was closed, and it could not be opened. There were several large screws holding it shut. The room that this window belonged to was unnervingly bare and sterile. A small dresser was tucked into the corner, with a full-length mirror on the wall next to it. Two doors were set into the walls. One stood open, looking in on a tiny bathroom. The other was shut tight. A bed, just large enough for one person, dominated the center of the room. An IV stand and a small monitor stood silent guard over the empty bed.
The boy who had so recently lain in that bed now stood on the linoleum floor; staring out the window and running a single hand over the screws in the sill. His other hand staunched the trickle of blood from where he had removed the IV lines in his arm. He was dressed in blue hospital scrubs and a pair of white socks. A troubled, confused expression sat upon his face.
The source of that expression came from three thoughts that chased one another around his mind. Where am I? What am I doing here? And, most important, who am I?
He couldn’t remember a single thing before waking up ten minutes ago.
The first thing he had seen was the two needles stuck into the crook of his elbow. An unexplainable fear had risen inside him, along with an almost overwhelming panic. He had grabbed the attached tubes and pulled the needles out without even thinking. Only then did he notice that he was completely naked, his modesty protected by a thin sheet. Sitting up, he winced at an unexpected pain in his groin. Reaching down, he pulled out a long catheter. He nearly passed out at the sight of it.
After ripping several electrodes off of his chest, he staggered to his feet. He noticed the clothes folded up on top of the dresser. He shuffled over and slowly put them on. Straightening up, he caught sight of himself in the mirror. He was a teenager; that much he could tell. After staring at his own face for a minute, he decided that he could be anywhere between sixteen and nineteen years old. His hair was dark brown and very short, maybe a few centimeters long. Startlingly green eyes stared out of a very plain and unassuming face. He was tall, standing at about five feet eleven inches.
Turning slowly, he noticed a light blinking on the monitor. He decided to ignore it in favor of the window. That was how he found himself, troubled, confused, and scared, staring out the window at the lackluster lawn that was just beginning to show signs of spring. He was still staring when the door behind him flew open.

Nurse Bond grumbled as she left room 213. Jones had been causing problems again. He was a special case. Hell, all of these kids were special cases, but Jones was definitely the biggest pain in the ass. He tended to be violent, a result of a bad drug overdose. He was lucky to be alive, but he would be screwed up for the rest of his life. The nurse often wished that they could all be like that comatose kid. At least he never had to be strapped to his bed.
An insistent buzzing caught Bond’s attention. She glanced at the monitors in the nurses’ station. What she saw made her forget completely about Jones. The occupant of 221 was flatlining.
Nurse Bond took off at a dead run, an amazing sight to see for a woman as large as she was. She slammed into the door at full speed. The only reason that she didn’t break anything was that the doors were a special design. They had no knobs, thus they couldn’t be opened from the inside. They were designed to be pushed open in case of an emergency like this. In the case of a fire the doors could also be opened automatically by a switch at the station.
As the nurse burst into the room she automatically looked over the entire room, making sure that nothing escaped her notice. What she saw shocked her so much that she could only gape, frozen in place.

The boy jumped at the crash behind him. He spun around, fear blooming into full-blown terror when he saw the huge woman glaring at him. She had to weigh at least two hundred and fifty pounds. He got the distinct impression that she could break him in half if she wanted to, with very little effort. Her hair was tied back in a severe bun, and her face looked like a lumberjack’s. The term battleaxe came to mind.
“What are you doing awake?” She demanded; astonishment clear in her voice. He couldn’t respond. He was so scared he could barely think. The nurse looked him up and down, assessing. When she saw that he was bleeding she strode forward, grabbed him around his bicep, and half-dragged him back to his bed. She shoved him down and inspected his arm.
“Well, the bleeding has stopped, but I’m still going to put a bandage on it. I don’t want you picking at it.” She stood up and marched into the bathroom to get a wet washcloth. When she came back she scrubbed his arm and bloods-stained hand. Afterwords, she grabbed a bandage off of the IV stand and placed it on the wound. The entire time, he just watched her with a bewildered expression on his face.
“Who are you?” The nurse glanced up at him for a moment.
“My name is Janine, but you can call me Nurse Bond.” She glared at him, almost daring him to make a joke.
“Uhh… okay. Well… uhh… who am I?” He felt his face warming even as he said it. The look on her face didn’t help. He misinterpreted her surprise for barely restrained laughter.
When Nurse Bond got her voice back she asked, “Are you serious?”
He looked down, embarrassed, and snapped, “It’s not funny!”
“And I’m not laughing. You surprised me, is all. Trust me kid, I don’t have much of a sense of humor.”
“Yeah, whatever. So, what’s my name?”
“Jeremy. Jeremy Grissom.”
“What is this place? What am I doing here?”
“Can you remember anything, Jeremy?”
“No.”
Bond sighed and shook her head. “You are in the Burton Memorial Rehabilitation Center.”
“Rehab center?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“You overdosed on heroin, Jeremy. You have been in a coma for three months.” Jeremy gasped and locked his eyes onto hers, unable to speak. “You are very lucky, young man. You nearly died.”
“I don’t believe you.” Something in his voice told Nurse Bond that he did indeed believe her. He just didn’t want to. For the first time, a hint of sympathy crossed her face. She sat down next to him on the bed.
“It’s true, Jeremy. I’m very sorry, but it is true.” Jeremy laid his head in his hands and began to cry. Nurse Bond, usually so cold and emotionless, felt her hear breaking at the sight. She pulled him into a hug, stroking his hair as he cried into her shirt. Despite what everybody thought of her, Janine Bond could indeed be comforting when she needed to be.
Eventually, Jeremy fell asleep in her arms. She laid him down gently on the bed, then got up to go report what had happened to his counselor. On the way out, she switched off the alarm and softly closed his door behind her.

Jeremy awoke, groggy and disoriented, several hours later. The blinds had been closed and the room was filled with shadows. A pretty young black woman sat in a wooden chair next to his bed, reading a book by penlight. She looked up and smiled when Jeremy raised his head.
“Good afternoon, Jeremy. How are you feeling?” She had a bright, cheery voice that seemed to fit her perfectly. Jeremy regarded her warily for a moment before asking a question of his own.
“Who’re you?”
She chuckled and said, “I guess I should have introduced myself first, huh? I’m Dr. Stephanie Kingsley. I’m your counselor.”
“Doctor? Doctor of what?”
“Psychiatry.”
“Do I need a psychiatrist?”
“That’s what we are going to try and determine. Usually we try to figure out why you turned to drugs in the first place, and then we work to make sure that you don’t make that decision again.
“Unfortunately, we can’t do that with you, Jeremy. You are unusual even among the kids on this floor, with your memory loss.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hostility creeping into his voice.
“Let me explain. This floor is designated for kids who have mental problems associated with drug use. Our facility is only a few years old, which means you are the first case of amnesia that we have ever had.”
“I’m honored.” She smiled and shook her head at his sarcasm. A moment later she stood up and set her book down.
“Well, Jeremy, I think it’s time that we got down to business. I would like to run a few tests. Maybe we can find out what caused you to wake up.” She walked around to the front of his bed and grabbed a wheelchair that he hadn’t seen. He eyed it uncertainly as she wheeled up to him.
“I can walk.”
“I’m sure you can. But you have been in a coma for the last three months. I would feel much better if you sit in the chair. Don’t worry, it won’t bite.” He locked his brilliant green eyes onto her dark brown ones. The look on his face told her that the humor was unappreciated.
After a bit of internal debate, Jeremy decided that, as he didn’t have much choice, he might as well go along with the doctor. He stood up slowly, turned around, and sat down in the wheelchair. Stephanie noticed that his shoulders remained tight and his neck was stiff. She took a moment to massage him until he relaxed. When she grabbed a blanket off his bed, she saw that the expression on his face had changed to just plain scared. She draped the blanket over his legs then knelt down in front of him.
“Jeremy, everything will be alright. Don’t worry, you’ll get through this.” He clearly didn’t believe her, but decided not to press the issue. Dr. Kingsley stood up, grasped the chair’s handles, and pushed Jeremy out into the hall.

The hallway was a cacophony of sound and smell. At one end, Nurse Bond and an orderly struggled with a boy who looked older than Jeremy. He screamed wordlessly and flailed his limbs. The next door down from Jeremy’s stood open, a short boy grinned at him from inside. The boy looked like he had vomited on himself, and a dark stain was spreading on the front of his pants. Jeremy stared around, shocked and terrified. Stephanie pushed him quickly down the hall, trying to get him clear before he freaked out.
Jeremy relaxed the instant they turned the corner. He could still hear the kid screaming, but it didn’t seem as loud. He slumped into the wheelchair and watched tiredly as a cute girl in pink pajamas was rolled by in her own chair. She kept brushing her long blond hair, repeating “I’m so pretty” over and over again. Her hair was frazzled and strands of it were pulled out with every stroke of the brush. It looked like she was brushing it to death.
It was only after they had boarded the elevator and the doors had closed that Jeremy spoke up.
“So, is this place only for kids or something?”
“Yes, our cutoff age is nineteen.”
“How old am I?”
Stephanie laughed out loud, and, after seeing the look on his face, quickly said, “Sorry. I keep forgetting that you have amnesia. I didn’t mean to laugh at you.”
Jeremy sighed and rolled his eyes. “It doesn’t matter. I guess I’ll just have to learn to live with this.”
“I’m truly sorry, Jeremy. Hopefully, we’ll find a way to get your memory back. Oh, you’re seventeen, by the way.”
“Thanks. So, uh, where are we going?”
“CAT scan. It’s a machine that takes a picture of your brain.”
“Oh.”

Jeremy sat in the waiting room, feeling increasingly worried. On their way in, they had passed an open door through which Jeremy had seen a large, cylindrical machine. He had seen somebody inside the machine, and he feared that that was the CAT scan. Jeremy didn’t know why, but the idea of being stuck in there filled him with dread.
“What’re you here for?” Jeremy looked around. A boy about his age sat in the chair nearest to him. The kid wore an open and honest expression. He leaned on the armrest and watched Jeremy attentively.
“Who’re you?”
“I’m Steve. I’m in here because I had a coke problem. What about you?”
Jeremy regarded him warily for a moment before answering. “Heroin.”
“Damn! That’s bad shit, dude.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard.”
“So why are you dressed like that? Most of the people here wear green or orange. Are you up there on the loony floor?”
Jeremy actually laughed at that. “Yeah, I am.”
“Really? You don’t act nuts.”
“Thanks, that’s reassuring.”
Steve looked stricken, realizing what he had said. “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t mean anything.”
“It’s okay. It doesn’t bother me. Actually, after what I saw up there, what you said makes me feel better.”
“So why are you up there? If it doesn’t bother you to talk about it.”
“It doesn’t. I have amnesia. They said that I was in a coma for three months, but I can’t remember anything before this morning.”
“That sucks. Wait, does that mean that you woke up from the coma today?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, that’s something, isn’t it? I mean, at least you still have a chance to get better.”
“I hadn’t thought of that. Thanks, it helps.”
“No problem. I’m just glad I could help out in some way. Hey, you didn’t tell me your name.”
“It’s Jeremy. At least, that’s what they tell me.”
“Well, I’m sure that they wouldn’t lie to you about something like that.” Steve stuck out his hand and Jeremy shook it. Steve began talking about himself, his drug problem, and this place. Jeremy hardly heard anything that Steve said. He kept thinking about what Steve had told him. Was it possible that he could get better? Could he regain his memories? And, this thought chilled him, did he want to? Jeremy was broken out of this train of thought by the approach of Dr. Kingsley.
“We’re ready, Jeremy.”
Jeremy nodded and said, “Okay. Bye, Steve.”
“Later, Jeremy.”
Stephanie wheeled him into the room with the cylinder machine, and Jeremy felt his earlier fear come crashing back into him. Stephanie noticed how he tensed up, so she leaned over and spoke softly in his ear.
“It’s alright, Jeremy. There’s no need to be nervous. It can’t hurt you.” Jeremy couldn’t form any words, so he just jerked his head in response. An orderly helped him stand up and get onto the gurney in front of the machine. Jeremy worked on calming himself as he lay down.
When he was pushed into the CAT scan, however, his thin bubble of control burst. Jeremy began to breathe erratically, his heart raced, and he yelled, “Get me out of here!”
“Jeremy, calm down.” Dr. Kingsley said.
“Get me the hell out of here!” Jeremy screamed. Tears ran down his face as he lashed out with his hands and feet. Almost immediately, he was pulled out. Stephanie was at his side, trying to comfort him. Jeremy threw his arms around her and sobbed uncontrollably into her shoulder.
“Shh, it’s okay, Jeremy. It’s okay.” He just cried harder.
“Is he okay?” Steve stood in the doorway, looking worried and scared.
“He’ll be fine. I guess he must be claustrophobic.” Jeremy’s grip on her loosened, and she took the chance to extricate herself. Stephanie nodded to the orderly, so he picked Jeremy up and placed him in the wheelchair. She grasped his hand as the orderly pushed the chair. Jeremy pushed his face into her arm and continued to cry.

Jeremy stood in Dr. Kingsley’s office, staring out the window. A few people wandered aimlessly on the shabby lawn. It had taken him some time to recover from the incident downstairs. Right now, he felt like a complete idiot, a total loser. He turned to Dr. Kingsley, but found that he couldn’t look her in the face.
”What the hell happened back there?” He asked. Stephanie was surprised; he sounded like he expected everybody to be upset with him.
“Jeremy, it’s not your fault. I wish that we knew that you’re claustrophobic, but you can’t be blamed for that.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Well, we obviously can’t expect you to remember something like that. Your father should have told us, but I guess he never expected you to wake up. Nobody did.”
“That’s not what I meant. What does claustrophobic mean?”
“It means that you are afraid of enclosed spaces. It’s not unusual. Some cases are more extreme than others. Yours is pretty bad.” Jeremy thought about that for a little while. Another question occurred to him.
“Why didn’t anybody expect me to wake up?”
“You overdosed pretty badly. The doctors who treated you didn’t even expect you to survive. Your condition was pretty bad for several days. After you stabilized, your dad had you transferred here. He was hoping that we could do better than that overcrowded hospital, but after a month we kind of lost hope.”
“You keep talking about my dad. What about my mom?”
“You remember stuff like that?”
“I know some pretty basic things, like that a person’s supposed to have a mom and a dad, and stuff like school and language.”
“The language part is fairly obvious, but it’s interesting that you understand basic concepts like family and school. I guess that they’re not linked entirely to memory. I have to admit, I never studied too deeply into memory, so I really can’t tell you anything about it.”
“Whatever. What about my mom?”
“Your parents divorced when you were five. Your mom lives in California?”
“Where are we?”
“Pennsylvania.”
“Where do I live?”
“West Chester, about fifty miles east of here.”
“Cool. How do you know all this stuff about my family?”
“It’s in your file. We gather all the information we think we need to know about a patient when we get ready to treat them. Obviously, we don’t always get enough info. Otherwise we would have known about your claustrophobia.”
Jeremy sat down, mulling it all over. He looked up and asked, “Have you told my dad that I woke up?”
“Yes we have.”
“Is he coming?”
“No, Jeremy. I’m sorry.”
He felt like crying again. “Why not?”
“He said that you two had some sort of falling out shortly before you OD’d. He doesn’t think that he can stand to look at you.”
“But I can’t even remember it!”
“I know. We explained that to him, but he said that he did remember, all too clearly.”
“It’s not fair.”
“I know Jeremy. I know.” Stephanie could see tears welling up in his eyes. She understood how difficult this must be for him. She felt that if he were to start crying again, she would probably cry too. “Let’s get you back to your room. It’s been a hard day, you should get some rest.”

Darkness prevailed in Jeremy’s room. The sun had set hours before. Dr. Kingsley had left explicit instructions that he be left alone, so, except for a nurse bringing him some food at one point, he hadn’t seen anyone. Jeremy’s boredom was as deep as the shadows.
Jeremy was anxious. He wanted to get out. The very idea of anymore tests like the one earlier firmed his resolve to escape. He had a plan.
The door opened slightly as a nurse peeked in on him, so Jeremy closed his eyes and feigned sleep. Down the hall, somebody started screaming. The door clicked shut. Jeremy jumped out of bed and pressed his ear against the door. He could hear the nurse running down the hall, and what sounded like a full-blown riot shaping up. Others had started to mimic the first screamer, and the floor was overrun with confusion. Perfect.
Jeremy calmly walked over to the wooden chair that Dr. Kingsley had brought in. He gripped it on the back and, after a moment’s hesitation, threw it with all his strength through the window. Alarms blared, causing Jeremy to jump nearly a foot in the air. He grabbed his pillow and used it to knock out the rest of the glass on the sill. Worried that it was taking too long, Jeremy quickly slipped out of the window and onto a low porch roof. He was lucky; this building only had two floors above ground.
Jeremy glanced around. There were two other buildings in view, but he didn’t have time to study them. He grabbed the edge of the roof, swung around, and lowered himself as far as his arms would let him, then dropped the last few feet to the ground. Jeremy ran as fast as his legs could carry him, away from the building.
Somebody yelled at him to stop, but he didn’t even glance over his shoulder. Jeremy just kept running, not caring where he went, as long as it was away from the hospital.

It was raining. Could nothing go right? Jeremy had been walking alongside this road for hours, hoping that somebody would pick him up. He had seen someone hitchhiking awhile ago, so he had a vague idea of what to do. Headlights grew in the darkness. Jeremy stuck his thumb out, but the car roared by, spraying him with cold water.
Fortunately, he had been able to get some real clothes. In the first town he had come across he had found an empty house. The owners had even been foolish enough to leave a key in an empty flower pot in front of their house! Jeremy had stolen a pair of jeans, a long sleeved shirt, a pair of shoes, and a hooded zip-up sweatshirt; all too large for his skinny frame. He had to wrap a belt twice around his waist to keep the pants up, and he’d put on an extra pair of socks so his feet wouldn’t slip around in the shoes.
Now, the clothes were waterlogged and he was chilled to the bone. He had also found an old compass, so he headed east, trying to get to West Chester. Jeremy was cold, and scared, and he wondered what would happen if he just lay down and gave up.
A car pulled up next to him. He hadn’t been paying attention, so he hadn’t even heard it coming. Jeremy was scared that they might be from the hospital. Why else would they have stopped?
The window rolled down and Jeremy, steeling himself, bent down to look inside. A young man, his age, sat behind the wheel. He was thin, but not scrawny like Jeremy. He wore thin wire-framed glasses and had short black hair.
“Where you head…” He stopped abruptly, his eyes widening as he registered Jeremy’s features. “Jeremy!? What are you doing here!?” Jeremy stepped back, startled.
“You know who I am?”
“Of course I do! We used to be best friends!” He searched Jeremy’s face, looking for any sign of recognition. “You are Jeremy Grissom, aren’t you?”
“I think so.” The guy shook his head, obviously confused. He saw how Jeremy clutched himself, shivering.
“Get in the car, Jeremy. You’re gonna get sick out there.” Jeremy hesitated, then grabbed the door handle and pulled the door open. He sat in the seat and shivered violently.
“Who are you?”
The guy looked puzzled. “I’m Ben Mears. We’ve lived on the same street for our entire lives. I’m less than a month older than you!” Jeremy flinched at his tone. Ben forced himself to calm down. Something was definitely wrong here.
“I’m cold.” Jeremy said. Ben was surprised by the sudden change of topic. He had known Jeremy to have an incredible temper, never backing away from a fight. This just wasn’t right. He knew that the kid sitting next to him was Jeremy. Maybe a little thinner, and with a lot less hair, but the face and voice were perfect. Ben decided that he would have to be careful how he approached this.
“Take your jacket off.” Ben said, reaching into the back seat for a blanket. Jeremy pulled off the jacket and the shirt underneath. Ben noticed how pale and ribby he was. This was not the Jeremy he had known. Something had happened, and Ben had a good idea what had caused it.
Ben passed the blanket to Jeremy, who rapped it around himself. Ben turned the heat up full blast, not concerned how hot he got. Jeremy looked like he was about to pass out if he didn’t get warm, and Ben wanted some answers. Listening to Jeremy’s teeth chatter, he decided to drive to his friend Lisa’s house. Her parents were on vacation, and Ben knew that she wouldn’t tell anybody.
He drove silently, occasionally glancing at Jeremy. It was hard for him to believe that the same person who had only five months ago called him such terrible things was now so utterly dependant on him. It just didn’t fit with the person who Ben had at one time called friend.

The trip didn’t take long. Jeremy’s apprehension grew as they pulled into the short driveway. Could he trust this guy? He only had Ben’s word that he would be safe. Jeremy realized that at this point he didn’t have much choice.
Lisa stood in her doorway. She was curious as to why Ben would be coming over this late. It was nearly eleven o’clock. She could see that somebody else was in the car with Ben, but she couldn’t make out who it was.
Ben climbed out of the car, grabbing Jeremy’s wet clothes as he did so. He had to walk around and pull Jeremy out. He swayed unsteadily on his feet, worrying Ben. Luckily, the rain had let up a few minutes, so he didn’t have to worry about Jeremy getting wet again. Ben put his arm around Jeremy’s shoulders and led him to where Lisa waited.
Lisa felt a mixture of shock and anger when she recognized the blanket-wrapped figure. “No! Uh-uh, no way! I’m not letting him in my house!”
“Come on, Lisa. Can’t you see he needs help? I’m not asking you to sleep with him!”
Lisa glared at Jeremy, now leaning on Ben for support, unable to hold himself up. Lisa saw how sick he looked. She said, “He hurt me, Ben. He hurt both of us. Why should we forget about that now?”
“I’m not telling you to forget about anything. I haven’t forgotten about the way he treated me. But I think that he has.”
“What!?”
“I think Jeremy has amnesia. He doesn’t act like himself, and he couldn’t remember me. He doesn’t even seem too sure about who he is!”
Lisa sighed and threw up her hands. “Alright, fine! Bring him in, but you’re responsible for him. I don’t want any drugs in my house!”
“Don’t worry, Lisa. He doesn’t have any, and he’s not leaving until we find out what’s going on.” Ben dragged Jeremy into the living room and laid him on the couch.
“Is he alright?” Lisa asked with a hint of worry in her voice.
“I’m not sure. I think he was out in the rain for awhile when I found him.”
“Where was he?”
“On the side of the highway, soaking wet.”
Lisa took the clothes Ben was still holding and tossed them into the laundry room. When she came back she looked at Jeremy, stretched out on the couch, for a moment before turning her gaze on Ben.
“I don’t want to be alone with him.”
“Okay. I’ll call my mom and tell her that I’m gonna stay here tonight. It’s the weekend, so she’ll be cool with it.”
“Don’t take too long.” Ben kissed her before heading to the kitchen. Lisa noticed that Jeremy had fallen asleep. He was shivering, so she grabbed an extra blanket and threw it over him. Lisa sat down in a chair nearby, watching the boy who had ripped her heart out.

Jeremy woke slowly. He took stock of his situation. Several blankets were piled on top of him. He still wore the pants that he had stolen, but somebody had taken off the shoes and socks.
Jeremy forced his eyes open, and groaned as sunlight streaming in through a large window struck him in the face. As his eyes adjusted he saw the room that he was in. It was big, with several chairs scattered about. A small coffee table sat next to the couch he lay on. A clock on the wall reported the time to be three PM.
“Hello, Jeremy.” A girl with long red-gold hair walked into the room. There was so much bitterness in her voice that Jeremy cringed. She carried a glass of water that she slammed down onto the coffee table. A bit of water slopped over the edge.
Lisa sat down and grinned at Jeremy, pleased to see how much discomfort she caused in him. No less than he deserves she thought. She nearly laughed out loud as she watched his eyes dart from her to the glass. Lisa couldn’t believe how transparent he was. It seemed so un-Jeremy-like.
Jeremy slowly reached for the glass. The girl was scaring the hell out of him. He didn’t know if he could trust her, but at the same time he was also incredibly thirsty. Jeremy drained the water so fast that some of it poured down either side of his face. The girl sighed and rolled her eyes.
Ben walked in as Jeremy was wiping his face off. He rolled his eyes when he saw Lisa’s barely suppressed laughter.
“You sleep well, Jeremy?” Jeremy nodded slowly, his fear obvious. “Don’t worry, we’re not gonna hurt you. Not yet, at least.” He amended, glancing at Lisa. “This is Lisa. As you can see, she’s not too happy with you. She does have good reason, but I guess you don’t know why.” Jeremy shook his head.
“You broke my heart, you bastard!” Lisa shouted suddenly. “What the hell is your problem!?”
“Lisa, calm down. Let him explain.” Ben looked at Jeremy expectantly.
Jeremy looked back and forth between the two. Finding no pity, he looked at his own hands. Taking a deep breath, he began to talk. Jeremy told them about waking up in the hospital, discovering that he had no memory. He talked about Nurse Bond and Dr. Kingsley and what they had told him. When he got to the part about him freaking out in the CAT scan, Jeremy found that he couldn’t continue. Ben got up and refilled Jeremy’s glass. After a long drink, Jeremy went on. He related the events that led up to his escape and how he had stolen the clothes. He finished off at the point where Ben had found him.
They were all silent for a long time. Eventually, Lisa stood up and walked over to Jeremy. She kneeled down and hugged him.
“I’m sorry, Jeremy. I shouldn’t have been so harsh. It’s just that I loved you so much, and you hurt me so badly! I don’t know if I can ever forgive you.”
“I’m sorry. For anything, everything, that I ever did to you. I don’t know what it was, but I am sorry.” They could hear genuine remorse in his voice. He truly meant what he was saying.
“I don’t know if that is enough, Jeremy. I need time to think about this.”
“Can you at least tell me what I did? I want to understand.”
“I’ll tell you,” Ben said. “If you really want to know.”
“I do.”
Ben nodded. “Okay, but I think you should eat something first. Why don’t you take a shower while I make something? I brought some of my own clothes over. They’re a little big, but they should fit better than the stuff you took.” Jeremy agreed, and Lisa led him to the bathroom. Lisa and Ben listened as the shower started, then began making lunch. They hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and it was now almost four-thirty.
“I guess it’s a bit late for lunch.” Ben said.
Lisa chuckled. “He’ll probably eat anything you give him, no matter what the time. He looks like he hasn’t eaten well in a very long time, not just the three months he was in the coma.”
“He probably hasn’t. I’m glad he’s not sick. I guess he was just really exhausted last night.”
“Yeah. Umm, are you planning on telling him everything?”
“He asked me too. I think he deserves to know the truth.”
“The truth might hurt him.”
“He might also learn something from it. Maybe he won’t end up the way he used to be.”
“Okay. Just, go easy on him. Even after what he did, I still don’t want to see him get hurt. He’s suffered a lot already.”
“I know.” The shower cut off upstairs. Ben and Lisa locked eyes. “Well, here we go.”

Jeremy came down the stairs dressed in Ben’s ill-fitting clothes. He felt completely refreshed, and far more comfortable in Lisa’s house than he had in the hospital. The food called to him, his stomach rumbled its response. Jeremy had to stop himself from running to the kitchen.
Lisa looked up from setting the table when Jeremy came in. She smiled at his appearance. He looked like a little kid, the way Ben’s clothes hung off of him. Lisa noted that, after the shower and dressed in clean clothes, Jeremy was finally starting to look alive.
Jeremy’s eyes lit up when Ben pulled the lasagna from the oven. It was obviously leftovers, but that didn’t bother him one bit. Jeremy sat at the table, practically bouncing in his seat. Lisa laughed loudly at this.
“Just like a little kid.” She said. Jeremy gave an embarrassed grin and settled down, a little. Ben finished cutting up the lasagna and placed the largest piece in front of Jeremy. He gave a distracted “thanks” before diving into the food. He only resurfaced every now and then to take a drink. Lisa and Ben ate slowly, staring at Jeremy make a pig of himself. Ben half expected to have to perform the Heimlich maneuver at any moment.
When he was finished, Jeremy looked up guiltily. He realized what he had been doing, and he thought that they would be disgusted with him. Both Ben and Lisa burst out laughing at his expression; both attempting to apologize for laughing. Jeremy slowly smiled as he saw that they weren’t mad at him.
They cleared up the dishes and moved into the family room, all three of them bracing for what was most likely going to be a harsh conversation. Jeremy and Lisa sat down next to each other on a couch, and Ben pulled a recliner over in front of them. He sat down and looked Jeremy in the eyes.
“Are you absolutely sure that you want to hear this?”
“No, I’m not. But tell me anyway.”
“Okay, here goes.”

“Let’s start with some background, okay? We met in first grade, even though we’ve lived on the same street our entire lives. Your mom never let you play with the neighbor kids. She said that they were too common for her child.”
“How do you know this?”
“You told me. Anyway, after your parents got divorced, your dad decided to send you to public school. He said that it would do you good. For the most part, I guess, it did. Until this year, anyway.
“Like I was saying, we met in first grade, and were friends ever since. Lisa moved here right before middle school, and you two dated through most of high school.
“The trouble began at the beginning of our senior year. A new kid from Philadelphia named Donny Mazzio moved in. He was a major drug user, into just about anything. It really surprised us when you started hanging around with him. You had always been such a cool person to be with. Never mean or condescending, I guess you just wanted people to like you. Maybe that’s why you started doing drugs. You were never all that popular, but the people who hung out with Donny were right up there with the jocks.
“You changed completely. You grew your hair long, pierced your ears, and acted like a complete asshole. For a while, you were cool with me. But when I made it clear that I wasn’t gonna get high with you, you started to tease me and treat me like scum. You called me ‘fag’ and ‘cocksucker’. Last Halloween you egged my house, and bragged about it in school.”
Jeremy hung his head. “Oh my god.”
“You weren’t any better with me,” Lisa said. “You treated me like a trophy. When I finally got pissed off enough to yell out you, you said ‘Who needs you anyway, you psycho hose beast? I don’t want some slut hanging onto me.’ I was horrified. You started treating me the same way you treated Ben.
“That was when we started going out. For a while I wanted to figure out some way to get back at you, but Ben kept telling me that you would eventually bring trouble upon yourself. He said that bad things always happened to bad people. He was right.”
“I’m sorry, Lisa. I’m so sorry.” Jeremy placed his hands on the back of his head and started to rock himself on the couch. Lisa placed her arm on his shoulders, disgusted with herself for saying that. Why the hell did I do that? Do I really want to hurt him that bad? Lisa realized that, in a small way, she did.
Jeremy stopped rocking and asked, “How did it happen? How did I OD?”
Ben continued the story. “About three months ago, you were caught smoking a joint in a bathroom at school. You had been getting into a lot of trouble that year, so they decided that enough was enough. You were expelled, and the principal called the cops. I talked to your dad a little while ago. He said that after he bailed you out, you and he got into a huge fight. He said that you knocked him down and ran out of the house.
“Two days later, one of your ‘friends’ called nine-one-one, saying that you were really sick. When the medics got there, they found you passed out. The others were still smoking, and there was a needle still stuck in your arm.” Jeremy shuddered at this. “The police arrested everybody there. They were gonna arrest you, but your dad said that they decided to drop the charges later. He never told me why. We all assumed that you had been sent to some detox center to dry out.”
“I was.”
“Sure, but we didn’t know that you were in a coma. Lisa and I were glad. Can you believe that? We thought that you had finally gotten what you deserved. Had I known what had actually happened, I probably would have prayed for you every night.”
“Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“What happened to the others?”
“Most of them got community service and fines, but Donny is in real trouble. They charged him with attempted murder.”
“What!? Why?”
“According to some of the guys that were there, he hit you up even after you passed out. He said that you would still feel it, and he wanted you to have a good time. He’s in deep shit now. Your dad was ready to crucify him.”
“Good.” Jeremy could not look up, could not meet their eyes. Jeremy was afraid that he would only see cold hatred on their faces. They had every right to hate him. How could they not?
Lisa placed her hands on either side of Jeremy’s face and pulled him up so they were eye to eye. “Jeremy, I forgive you. You have suffered far worse than I could ever have wanted. I want to help you get through this, and I want you to be my friend again.”
Jeremy broke down completely. Lisa held him while he cried on her shoulder. Ben smiled at her. He had been worried about what Lisa would do. To him, this was the best possible outcome. Maybe now, things would actually get better.
Jeremy stopped crying quickly. He wiped his eyes and turned to Ben. “Well, now what do we do?”
“Don’t you think that you should talk to your father? He must be very worried,” Lisa said.
“Not yet. I’m not ready to face him.”
“Okay,” Ben said. “How about we go for a drive? I can give you a tour of your hometown. We’ll get something to eat, my treat.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, why not? We’re friends again, we should act like it.”
“Thanks Ben, Lisa. You guys are better friends than I deserve.”

They had a grand time showing Jeremy places that he used to know. Whenever they saw someone they recognized, they would point that person out and talk about the strange things that they did. Jeremy especially enjoyed it when they told him stories from his own childhood. It helped him get a connection to Ben and Lisa and this town.
They parked in a garage on High Street and began walking to the High Street Café. Without warning, Lisa grabbed Jeremy’s arms and pulled them over Ben’s shoulders. At the same time, Ben stooped over and grabbed Jeremy behind his knees.
“What’re you doing?” Instead of answering, Ben picked Jeremy up and began running down the sidewalk, dodging people, Lisa hot on his heels. They passed an old woman who clucked at them disapprovingly, and a cop laughed at them while he wrote a ticket for an illegally parked car. Cars honked and somebody shouted at them out a window. Jeremy laughed the entire time.
Jeremy slid off of Ben’s back when they got to the café. The three of them stood on the sidewalk laughing and trying to catch their breath.
“When did you guys plan that?” Jeremy gasped.
“We didn’t,” Ben said. “We used to do stuff like that all the time. You’ve always been smaller than me, but it was never that easy. You lost a lot of weight.”
“Well I have been lying in a bed being fed through tubes for the last three months. C’mon, I’m hungry.” Ben and Lisa laughed again and followed Jeremy inside.
After they had ordered, Ben pointed out a group of kids he knew. There were four of them, one with bright red hair, obviously dyed.
“They go to our school. Dan, Matt, Trisha, and Dirk. They’re pretty cool people. Dan’s new this year; he’s in my photo class.”
“Which one’s Dan?”
“Dude with the red hair. It used to be blue.”
“Cool.” Trisha noticed them looking. She excused herself from her table and came over.
“Hey, Ben. Who’s this?” She asked, looking curiously at Jeremy.
“This is Jeremy Grissom, Trisha.”
“No way! You serious?”
“Yeah.”
Trisha looked closer, recognition flashing in her eyes. “Damn, you’ve changed. Where’ve you been?”
“Rehab. I just got out yesterday.”
“Congratulations! I’m glad to see that you got back with your real friends. Those other guys were assholes. Well, it was good to see you.” Trisha smiled and bounced back to her friends. She began chatting animatedly, gesturing at Jeremy. The others glanced over at them and Dan nodded to Jeremy.
Lisa grinned and said, “Just got out yesterday, huh?”
“Well it’s true. I didn’t lie to her; I just didn’t tell her how I got out.”
“Good one. Ever heard of lying through omission?” Ben asked.
“How the hell would I know?”
“Good point.”
Jeremy decided to change the topic. “Hey, I wanna ask you something. Have I always been claustrophobic?”
“Hell, yeah. You couldn’t even walk into a closet without freaking out.”
“Okay, what about needles? Have I always been afraid of them?”
Ben thought for a moment. “No, I can’t say that you have. Maybe it’s something left over from when you overdosed. You know, subconsciously your mind sees needles as bad or something.”
“Maybe. Hey, look. The food’s here.”

Jeremy laughed at one of Ben’s jokes as they walked back to the car. He turned his head for a moment, and in that instance of inattention, Jeremy walked straight into somebody.
“Watch it, moron! Look where you’re go-.” The guy cut off when he saw who had run into him. “Hey, Jeremy! Long time, no see! What are you doing with these losers?”
“This is Leo, Jeremy.” Ben said. “He’s the one who called the ambulance when you passed out.”
“Real compassionate. I guess that didn’t extend to stopping Donny from injecting that shit into me later.”
“What’s your problem? I’m your friend, not these two dorks.”
“Yeah, bullshit! That shit fucked me up! I lost my memory, you asshole! Whatever happens to Donny is too good for him.”
“What are you talking about? Donny’s gonna go to prison, and you’re happy!? I thought you were cool.”
“Obviously, you were wrong. I don’t know why I’m wasting my breath on you, you’re not worth it.” Jeremy brushed past Leo, who stared at him open-mouthed. Only when they were down the street from him did he respond.
“Yeah? Well, you were never good enough for us anyway!”
Jeremy never looked back.

Lisa and Ben caught up to Jeremy outside the parking garage. He stood there shaking with rage, his fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles were white.
“You alright, Jeremy?” He turned to face Ben, eyes blazing.
“They didn’t care, did they? It wouldn’t have mattered to them if I had died, would it? I let them destroy my life, and they’re not the least bit bothered.” The hatred in Jeremy’s tone was so strong that Ben was infinitely glad that it wasn’t aimed at him.
“No, they didn’t care.” Lisa said softly. “But we do.”
“Why should you? I don’t deserve it.”
“Hey, I understand that you’re pissed at those guys, but…“ Ben started, but Jeremy cut him off.
“I am not pissed at them! They’re just a bunch of junkies. I’m pissed off at myself! I let all that happen! I threw away my friends and family, and over what? Drugs! Popularity! I was stupid, and I deserve what I got!”
“Jeremy, nobody deserves what happened to you.”
“Save it, Ben. I’m not worth your compassion.” Jeremy wrapped his arms around himself and stared off at nothing in particular. When he spoke next, his voice held no emotion whatsoever. “Take me home, Ben.”
“Huh?” Ben was bewildered by this sudden shift.
“Take me home. To my dad. I need to talk to him. I need to tell him that I’m sorry.”

Jeremy was quiet and withdrawn the whole way. Nothing Ben or Lisa said could draw him out of his thoughts. Not once did he respond to either of them. He felt nauseous, and his anxiety jumped through the roof when Ben pulled in front of a small and unassuming house.
“That’s funny,” Ben stated. “Your dad only has one car. Who does the other one belong to?” Jeremy didn’t say anything, just pushed the door open and climbed out. He didn’t even notice that Ben and Lisa followed him.
It took him a full minute to walk up to the door. When he got there, Jeremy couldn’t bring himself to knock. He was too scared.
“We can still go back, you know,” Lisa said. “My parents won’t be home for another week. I don’t mind.”
Jeremy shook his head. “No, I have to do this. If I leave, I won’t be able to come back.” He slowly reached out and rapped on the door. It flew open less than ten seconds later. Jeremy was startled back a step by the giant in the doorway. He stood at least three inches over six feet tall, and covered with muscle. Behind this man who Jeremy realized must be his father stood Dr. Kingsley.
Jeremy couldn’t speak. He tried, but the words wouldn’t come. The next thing he knew, his father had pulled Jeremy into a massive bear hug, his face pressed into the massive chest.
“Oh God, Jeremy. I’ve been so worried. I missed you so much.” The dam broke; Jeremy couldn’t hold the tears back. He cried into his dad’s chest, babbling “I’m sorry, Dad. I’m sorry.” over and over again.
Richard Grissom pulled his son inside, signaling to Ben and Lisa that they could come as well. Ben closed the door behind him and followed the others into the living room. Rich pushed Jeremy onto the couch and knelt in front of him. Stephanie nodded politely to Ben and Lisa, and they responded in kind.
Richard grasped Jeremy’s shoulders, looked him in the eye, and said, “Jeremy, I want to apologize to you.” Jeremy attempted to interrupt. ”No, Let me speak. I have been blaming myself every minute of every day for driving you out. I feel that what happened to you is my fault.”
“Dad, don’t…”
“Jeremy, be quiet. I know about your amnesia. I know you don’t remember what life was like around here.”
“Ben and Lisa told me…”
“They wouldn’t know what went on here. I wasn’t a good dad, Jeremy. I tried to give you everything that I never had growing up, so I worked hard all the time. I was never involved in your life. I didn’t give you a father.
“Jeremy, I’m sorry. I expected you to be perfect, and I was mad when you weren’t. I was selfish. I should have visited you at the rehab center after you woke up, but I was still angry. When you ran away I realized how stupid I was being.”
“I only escaped yesterday.” Dr Kingsley quirked an eyebrow at the word “escape”.
“And I haven’t slept since I heard. I kept having visions of you face down in a puddle on the side of the highway. I didn’t think that I would never see you again. When I saw you out there, I thought I was hallucinating.”
Dr. Kingsley cleared her throat. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but there are a few things that we need to discuss.” Rich nodded and sat on the couch next to Jeremy, wrapping a protective arm around his son’s narrow shoulders. Lisa sat on Jeremy’s other side, with Ben on the armrest.
Stephanie glanced at them and asked, “Are you sure you want your friends here?”
“Yes.” Jeremy answered with no hesitation.
“It’s okay, doc.” Rich said.
“We just want to help.” Lisa put in.
Stephanie shrugged. “Okay, it’s your decision. First, we need to talk about the damage you did.”
Rich waved a hand in dismissal. “I told the guy who called before that I would pay for it.”
“Uh-huh. Next we need to decide what we’re going to do now. I talked to your dad and he said that it is up to you.”
“What is? When did you get here?”
“About an hour and a half ago. What you need to decide is whether you want to stay here or go back to the hospital.”
“I want to stay here.”
“Are you sure? If you wait too long, we may not be able to recover your memories.”
Jeremy looked around at everybody, his gaze lingering longest on his dad. “I don’t think that I want to get them back.”
Lisa gasped. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I screwed up my life. Nothing can change that. But now, I have a chance to make something of myself.”
“But, if you don’t remember what you did before, you might make the same mistakes.”
“And I might make them again if I did remember. I would know what the feeling of getting high is like and I might want to get it again. But now, I have a definite reminder of what drugs could do to me. Having no memory of the first seventeen years of my life is a hard price to pay, but I will accept it.
“My past is gone, but I have a whole new life ahead of me.”