To Put Things Simply

The most difficult part of all,
Is that, if I should simply fall..
I might not want to be picked up
(my coffee's bitter in that shattered cup).

Simply, all that matters is far
I have no inner conflict, I'm at war
Trying not to simply break down insane,
Even if no one notices my pain..

I'm placing bets on future races
Winning losing, even chases,
Dripping courage, all the way
Knowing that, I might not stay

It would be wrong to lose my mind..
Cause I don't know if I could find
An excuse to not let you go,
(a shovel to dig me out of the snow).

I'm picking up the scattered pieces
Ironing out the tear-like creases..
While, outside, the thunder's so loud
I'm wondering why, there are no clouds

I blow my warm breath onto the window pane
Trying to wipe the dusty finger prints, it rains
I'm left with only half a sign
A poem without a single line.

I smile, sarcasm always was my talent
Contemplating the time I spent
Whispering to a deaf ear
Yet, insanely shaking with fear

I tear the pages, all worn out
While knowing, without a single doubt
There's more in them than mere delirium
Proof of my ability to fight them

Them, useless tools, of no use,
They say it's difficult to let me loose
I wonder why, as I pick up the letter from him they dropped,
Noticing the rain had stopped, he wrote:

"I know the answer is in you
I know the question is there too
So if you could just simply wait
We both will know, it's not too late

Then, maybe, I can stay
More than just another day
And show you it didn't have to take so long
To know the love that binds is strong

It spun, circled, entwining me,
Projecting the reality
That all it takes, is a single promise
One that I will not dismiss..

I write on the fog covered window pane, I made
With my breath, my tears, the blood I paid:
"tell me now, how could I not cry
when I'm always forced to say goodbye?"