Chocolate Isn't Enough

Chocolate Isn't Enough

I’m standing on the platform
As sleepy hands drag themselves through minute after minute
I watch the clock.
As if with a glare, I can propel those needled liars over the yawning face.
My enemy.

The chocolates clutched to my chest,
Seem pathetic when compared to her,
My paragon, my dearest heart.
This was a bad idea. I knew it.
I knew it.

Pimple skinned and stubble-jawed, I stand there.
The grime of my room still lingering
In my eyes, and on my hands.
Never the same since she left.

Why would she return?
I have nothing left to offer her.
Save these melted chocolates and my fumbling, awkward love.
Sallow and inferior.

The books never say it’ll be like this.
I can’t bring myself to read anymore.
The lies they perpetrate make me feel
Inadequate. Half a man for not living up to
The unreasonable, saccharine paradise of ink and paper.

The breathless shuttling of the train awakens me.
Eyes wide, I mentally scythe
Through the legions of red-eyed long-haulers.
My first sight of her- the most important.

She steps off, her legs as long and mesmerising
As the last time I saw them- striding out of my bedroom
As I lay in a stupor of my own making.
Her eyes, green orbs of inhuman intensity, sweep over the masses.
They find me, a dagger to the stomach I would weather
A million times more, for the love of her.

Inadequate.
She calls my name.
The chocolates drop from my damp fingers and spill.
A single sob escapes my broken lips
As I run from the platform into the rain.