Bad Poems (Intentionally!)

Death by Haiku

Prompts were for haiku on death or as a weather report, or an open topic free verse "Invalid Post"  

I won 2nd Wurst for Death Haiku

Open Topic Free Verse

many a poet
has taken up the pen (his or hers)
to celebrate
the Open Topic and the Free Verse
but the efforts
were all in vain
for, while a Topic may be Opened
and closed again and again
a Verse, once tamed
can never be Free again



Death Haiku

The blonde dame came in
She wailed, so I slapped her. Twice.
Her parrot was dead.



Weather Report

Freezing rain tonight
Snow flurries in the morning
Hell freezing over

Stanka Tanka

Prompts were presitoric vegetarianism and wassailing (Ended 12/8/2002)

Prehistoric Vegetarianism Tanka

In PreHistory
vegetarianism
was widely practiced
because most hunters were bad
and couldn't kill any meat


Wassailing Tanka

wassailing my friends
is a happy thing to do
they are wished good health
and I get to drink spirits
I'm a friendly kind of lush

Bad Haiku / Tanka

Entered for the Bad Haiku / Tanka contest. (Ended 12/1/2002)
I received 3rd place for Open Topic!

Tanka for Spot.

See Spot. Run, Spot Run!
See Jane pet Spot? Good Boy, Spot.
Spot wants to go out.
No Spot! Don't go in that yard!
Now I have to get a bag!

cable guy

the cable guy said
he would come between eight and
two. It's four. He's late.


Open Topic

Katya wrote haiku
on opening a topic
It was quite clever
I wish I were that clever
Damn you, Katya! I'm jealous.

Bad Limericks

Entered for the Bad Limerick contest. (Ended 11/24/2002)
I didn't win, but Pita gave me 1,000 GPs for Get Outta' My Way!!

No Money Blue$

Oh No! all of my money is spent
I've not a single clue where it went
It could have been porn
Maybe a shoe horn
And now I'll have to live in a tent!


Get Outta' My Way!

In the morning I always run late
And slow moving people I just hate
Don't hold up the line
'Cuz change you can't find
It makes the rest of us feel irate

Bad Haiku

Entered for the Bad Haiku contest. (Ended 11/10/2002)
I received 3rd place for After Halloween!

Broken Shoelace

hanging cord too short
my shoe will now be too loose
I am in dis pair



Peanutbutter Mouth

salty taste on tongue
sticky texture on palate
Jif stuck in my mouth



After Halloween

expected more kids
brimming bowl of temptation
leftover candy



my haiku

here is my haiku
it is self referential
five, seven, five, yeah!



haiku haiku

haiku format is
silly. it causes bad line
breaks. bad, haiku, bad

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