I Never Told You

I Never Told You

Just another day spent sitting at home watching the leaves fall
The squirrels scurry about outside, paying no heed to me
Of course, why should they?
Nothing special here – just me, my dog, and All My Children

Yesterday I had two wonderful accomplishments
By the power of my own strength my spirits were lifted
Strength I hadn’t even realized existed
I was proud – I was somebody

But today there is not so much excitement
Just sitting around wondering what I will do with myself tomorrow
Thinking about yesterday
And worrying about wasting today

I think about you a lot lately
Then again, I have thought about you every day
Since that fateful night your voice met mine
And told me that nothing would be the same after you

That night you etched your name in its own place
In my heart
That night the world changed forever
And I was lost in your strange new universe

You didn’t know that, did you?
You wouldn’t
I never told you
I never told you a lot of things

I never told you how much I admired you
And wished over and over that I could be more like you
Or how I longed to wipe away the tears
That you would never show me

We didn’t know each other at all really
Despite the hours we spent
Talking about tomorrow
And complaining about today

Somehow though you could never hide your pain from me
No matter how hard you tried
I felt your hurt as my own
I cried your tears and reveled in your glory

Indeed, our worlds have changed drastically since then
We have not seen each other in a long time
And the time when we will meet again is not near
Will you remember me?

Did you see through my charade as well as I saw you?
Did we play the same game of solitaire?
True, I’m not the person I once was
But the change you made I know will not change for me

I guess it doesn’t matter now anyway
For now I will just sit here with my dog
And you will go on doing whatever it is you do
With or without me

Sometimes I wonder what our lives would be like
If we had thrown away our games and facades
Passed the barrier of laughter in the face of the fear of fear
And told each other we cared…

Interesting concept, huh?