Abandonment issues

Please don't leave me alone, I don't want to be alone again. I'll pick up the sharp glass of my shattered heart with bleeding hands, covered in cuts and bruises. I'll let you lean on my arm as you destroy and use me all over again. If your hands were itching to break more than the trinkets in your room, I'd foolishly allow you to do so without hesitance. I'll take your negative words of hate and love so I can bury them deep inside of me. Just don't leave me alone, wondering where you are. I'm patiently waiting like a loyal dog for the day you look me in the eye and tell me that I'm made for you. Even though the faint yet soft thumping of my heart in my bedroom resonates with common sense, telling me that it'll never happen. Even so, can a woman not dream?

Throughout our relationship I have heard my friends call me stupid, stubborn and more. Asking me why I don't leave, why I don't just embark on another journey in my life and leave this meaningless imitation of one behind. The way I felt was complicated, it was stupid even. It just made my heart ache and my head pound. For some reason I was afraid of leaving him, afraid of losing the feeling I've longed for my entire life. It's as if I was addicted to it, just as bad as a drug addict perhaps. My parents were never really there, I've never felt such intense love. It was as if I was basked in euphoria and kissed by the scorching hot sun simultaneously. One could even call me raving mad for wanting, no needing more of that cocktail that mixed pain and pleasure to make it so palatable.