Mixed Emotions-[Part One]

Just as the storm continues to hold many people hostage,gripped with emotions of angst,fear,and trepidation, in a place so far away,yet so close to me,I find myself tethered to those same mixed emotions,that human beings have ,when faced with a larger-than-life situation. This time,it's not me in the cross-hairs. As I tried to sleep last night,faces of people I know/knew flashed in my mind. A single tear formed,stinging me ,my heart pierced,with a heaviness,that threatened to take my breath away...I wiped away the tears,rolled over ,and closed my eyes. Then ,the flashes resumed...frustrated,I slid out of my bed,my face sopped with tears,and my head aching...I tried to stop it,but to no avail..The worst part of this : It hasn't even made landfall...yet..!!!

I tried to compose myself, got my symptoms taken care of...deciding to go out and have a cigarette...The first of a few ,throughout the wee morning hours...I'd come back in,get another sip of liquid,then..pause..

"Where in heaven's name is the storm now?"

I'd sit at my makeshift desk,hoping that it would show weakening ...which it did..I sighed.Whew...okay!!

It wasn't okay,though.

I'd checked,double-checked ,and triple-checked,every map,report,and pressure rating....

Social media was a small comfort,because if I saw "little green dots" I knew who was still safe ...

Tonight,will be harsh for those in the affected areas.All night vigils are exhausting,but I am previously conditioned to that default response ,to keep a watchful eye on my loved ones and friends..it helps them to know someone else can be a support,even if it is several states away..and for me ,it keeps a lump from forming in my throat ,knowing we still can communicate...for the moment.



****More to come***