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Rated: ASR · Short Story · Mystery · #2323842
He can't go without it! (Winner, Cramp)

"It's missing, it's missing!" Mrs. Claus cried in a panic.

"Don't worry, dear, we'll find it." Santa assured her.

"But - but - the sleigh is all packed with the gifts, the reindeer have SPARKLE on their tails, your schedule will go haywire if you don't leave now!"

"Maybe I can just go without it ... ?"

But Santa's tentative question was drowned out by Mrs. Claus's shriek. "Santa without his BEARD? This is no time to make your jokes. You'll be suggesting leaving without your ROBES on next."

"I never do wear robes on Christmas Eve, dear, just my Santa suit, as you know."

"You men and your jokes. I wish I could find this beard and get you safely off."

"The Mystery of Santa's Missing Beard. It'll be a nice Christmas movie."

"You men, can't take anything seriously Sorry, cat-sie darling, did I step on you? Oh, have I forgotten to feed you and those itty kittens of yours, then? I've been so distracted ... dear, would you give cat-sie and the furbabies some food while I look in your workshop for the beard?"

Santa went to the pantry to fetch the CAT food and take it to the big basket where five pairs of kitty eyes peered up at him.

"Ho ho ho ho," Mrs. Claus heard his booming laugh all the way in the workshop. Men! Laughing at a time like this!

Mrs. Claus ran back into the house, breathless. "I couldn't find - what?"

Santa was waving the tin of cat-food like a WAND . "Abra-ho-ca-ho-dabra!" he guffawed, pointing it at the cat basket.

Mrs. Claus peered in.

"There now, there now, did cat-sie find a way to keep her itty kittens nice and warm, with Santa's beard?" she cooed.

"Stop your there-now and get me my beard," Santa said, "I'm getting late."

"Dear, you know, nobody really sees you while you're delivering the gifts. The kittens are so snug on it. Won't you go without it, just this once?"
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