A Labor Day Gone Bad!

It was the night before Labor Day, and you were talking with your girlfriend about some plans for Labor Day. You decided to check up on Facebook and see that your siblings, as well as the rest of the family, are quite pissed off. You ask what is wrong and they tell you that your asshole brother is talking about getting 3D tickets to see a new Indian Movie, Brahmāstra! You couldn't fucking believe it, on the weekend of the anniversary of this nation's tragedy, he is going to watch a dumb Indian movie! You got so mad, that you immediately logged off of Facebook that night and went to bed.

The next day, you are on your PS5, playing another round of WWE 2K22, when your girlfriend comes in and notices you are looking like you are pouting as you are playing your game. Your girlfriend asks what is wrong and you quickly tell her it was nothing. She doesn't buy it and asks again what is wrong and you again say it was nothing. She then tells you that if it was about the discussion you had with your family last night in regards to your brother watching another Indian movie, to just please chill out before your blood pressure goes through the roof again! You tell her again that you are fine and she again, doesn't buy it. She also notices some empty beer bottles and realizes that you have been drinking. She tells you that you shouldn't be drinking while pissed off because that could lead to a nasty situation, and that's when you finally snap, yell at her incoherently, and then proceeded to punch a hole through your PS5.


Your girlfriend then asks what the fuck is wrong with you and you sober up enough to tell her that you didn't mean to do that because you snapped! You look over your PS5 to see the massive hole you have made in the console and say, "Well, we will just buy another one!" Your girlfriend then tells you that not only did the price for the PS5 go up, but it was much harder to find in stores now! You panic and immediately go onto Amazon to look for another PS5. After about half an hour, you let out a deep sigh before you give up your search as your girlfriend was right, there was not a PS5 in sight. Your girlfriend then suggests to go to Taco Bell to help cheer you up. You immediately brighten up and tell her yes!
Back at home, you are chowing down on possibly, your 10th taco. Your girlfriend notices and suggests that you slow down eating the tacos, because last time you ate that many tacos, you had bowel issues and ended up breaking the toilet!
You tell her that it's all in the past now as you eat your 20th taco.

About a couple of hours later, as you are watching TV with your girlfriend, you felt a familiar pressure build up in your gut. You try to hold it in, but a few farts slip out before you groan and rush to the bathroom. As you rush to the bathroom, you come across a problem...THOSE DAMN DOGS CHEWED UP YOUR ENTIRE TOILET PAPER SUPPLY!


You thought "screw it!" and proceeded to slam the door before sitting on the toilet and unleashing the contents of your bowels. The bathroom quickly fills up with the fumes from all of those tacos you have devoured and as you fill up the toilet with the nasty slop, you finally flush it...before realizing that you needed to wipe your ass! Thankfully, there was a towel nearby! You pick it up and started to floss the towel in between your butt cheeks as you clean out the deep crack as well as your anus. After you finish cleaning up your butt, you put the soiled towel aside and realize that it wasn't just any regular towel...IT WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S FAVORITE TOWEL! You quickly wash up and attempted to leave the bathroom quickly, but bump into your girlfriend, who was dropping by to see how you were doing. You tell her you were fine and rush down the hallway just as she realizes what you did to her towel...

"GET YOUR FAT FUCKING ASS IN HERE AND CLEAN THIS SHIT OFF OF MY MOTHER FUCKING TOWEL OR I SWEAR TO GOD, I WILL UPLOAD THE VIDEO TO YOUTUBE OF YOU NEARLY SLIPPING AND TWISTING YOUR ANKLE ON A TREADMILL WHILE AT PLANET FITNESS!!!"