The past and the present

The fire made cracking sounds as they turned the logs into creatures on the flame. Her face beamed under its light as she lay in the rustic green sofa, relaxed and peaceful.

Sapphira woke up with an excruciating pain on her chest. Her heart pounded as if it will break through the chest bones anytime now. The pain in her chest wouldn't possibly be regarded as something real. Her emotional body felt it, not the physical. Calming herself down with deep breaths, she fetched water from the counter to soothe her dehydrated mouth. As she gulped down the water onto her throat, she tries to contemplate on her experience a few moments ago.

In her dreams, she was blissfully wandering around, flapping her wings elegantly under the moon light, and strolling through the garden of blooming flowers. In no time, the night light got dimmer and darkness spread voraciously. She found herself in a place that was suffocating cold and all of a sudden, she wasn't able to move at all. That is when the fear and ache were conceived. However, they had been conceived not for the first time. There is this peculiar sense of nostalgia in the atmosphere. Sapphira closes her eyes gently to observe what was going on. In an instance, she reaches this meditative state where a huge circle with spiral colorful pattern inside comes right in front of her third eye. The spirals rotate viciously making her dizzy and in no time, she finds herself surrounded by a wild sand storm. In an attempt to stop those sand crystals entering her eyes, she shuts them hard, hugs herself and sits down. As the storm settled down, she opened her eyes to a completely different space, a different world where time was running in the opposite direction. Lifecycle was reversed. A world where frogs died as eggs, transforming to their inverted phase of life and so were all other living beings in the planet. They would be born old and die young. It was like re-living their lives, but on the opposite timeline.
After giving herself some time to look around and accumulate to the surrounding, Sapphira realized she was floating in the air, her body felt like a feather. Her limbs were no longer in the form of hands and legs. Instead, she had these deep blue wings on both sides with splashes of different other shades on top. She had never felt this elation, since she had never felt this close to nature either. She was born as a butterfly in this dimension. Emancipation was her perk for this life. That was what she had experienced until now, so she was unknown to any other definition of her being.

In the regular world, this was Sapphira's present, although metaphorically. Free spirit. That was what her soul represented. But before having reached this freedom, how could those nights of uncertainties and fear be forgotten? Those nights of unpleasant past.
Humans have no wings. Even if they try to create one, they are accused and attacked with weapons of words and opinions barged upon them for being someone off tune. Culture, ethics and morale. These were the traps she got entangled to, which got her immobile for some period. For quite a long time, she lived with panic attacks, frequently giving surprise visits and scaring her to death. It was a struggle for a fragile soul like hers to get rid of those tangles and set herself free. There were times when she felt sickened by herself submerged in guilt and self-loath. Episodes of isolation and deprivation had become a regular routine.

The butterfly in the other world, if it is aware of its past life is certainly scared of turning into that caterpillar again. Everyone was disgusted by the caterpillar at their first glance towards it. Toxic, as it caused them allergies. Full of negative vibration. No matter what it did and how much it tried, nobody was pleased with it. All other living creatures on earth would pass derogatory comments as the lushly orange caterpillar passed by their path.
Somehow, Sapphira before her transformative phase and this very caterpillar resonated one another. One most significant commonness between them was that they both hated themselves. Another similarity between their lives was that they were disliked by many. For Sapphira, it was a little different though. Many desired her for her voluptuous body and passionate aura. But did anyone love the soul inside that body? There is a doubt. People penetrated their gaze upon her with disapproval because she was a soul with passion. After all, she is a creature from a world where passion was perceived as a sin. At times of depression, she would deprive herself from it, because it seemed like it brought to her nothing else but remorse.

Neither the caterpillar, nor Sapphira in her past had yet fathomed what they were destined to be. One was fated to heal the world from its wounds and miseries, while the other would soon transform into a magnificent liberated being. Both were here on this earth to experience immense freedom. But it was the divine's ordeal upon them, constantly making them feel as if they were stabbed on their chest with an invisible knife which only made them tougher and resilient from the inside despite of their tears and ache. Both were heedless about this idyllic impact; that they were divinely blessed, that they were growing stronger with each passing second.
It was only Sapphira who could comprehend the happenings of the past and the present occurring simultaneously in the parallel worlds, for the butterfly and the caterpillar. And only did she know that both had just one choice; patience and acceptance.











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