Grieving my Unborn.

In a case of social norms I would never promote teenage pregnancy. As a mother of two in my mid 30's I aim to provide my children with a

healthy sexual education, however it was no easy task to break a cycle and set an example. I grew up in a single parent household and

was conceived out of wedlock, which caused the perceptions of myself were and remain very negative. This heavily included sex and I was sexually

active at a very young age and by 15 was in a relationship. I became pregnant by a young man who was heavily addicted to alcohol and

drugs, and the relationship became very violent. I remember being kicked in the stomach and shortly around the end of the first

trimester I had a miscarriage. There is no way that in the toxic environment I could have carried full term yet I blamed myself for many years

as a child killer. I shared about the experience for the first time in a trauma support community. One of the group leaders asked me if I had

ever really grieved the loss of the child. I realized there that I had not and began looking for ways to heal and one of those ways includes

sharing my truth with others. In my experience a burden shared is a burden lessened.