Paper windows

You little thing with paper windows,
They say
You poor, precious, broken thing
Summer has seeped through your cracks
and dampened your soul
Summer has taken you hostage
There's a knife to your throat
There are chains on your ankles and wrists
The liquor is rotting you from the inside out
but you choke it down
Burning throat and burning eyes
It's better to feel dizzy
Than nothing at all
Better to spin circles under the stars
and forget the world outside your walls
We have always existed
in this house with paper windows
Light comes in
We can't see out
The world is right there
but we are afraid
Afraid to tear open the paper
Afraid someone will break down the door
Is it better to live in bliss
even as you're aware of your ignorance
Is it better to know the truth
that stabs you with sharp words
and wounds your heart
They came knocking one night
With their dogs
And weapons and rules
And demanded you straighten up
Stop crying they say
Tears are punishable by death
You have not found a way
to stop breaking down
Or maybe you have
As you stare at the bottom of the bottle
Summer has choked out all of your emotions
One by one
Numb and empty
Summer is a parasite hosting in your brain
Just one more drink
Just one more hit
If you can still stand
You haven't had enough
Not enough, not enough
All the whiskey in the world
and you still remember your name the next morning
Music can only drown out your thoughts
for so long
Silence is deadly
Too much time to think
Any second you'll be overtaken
The voices in your head will tell you
that you don't matter
They will tell you to stop being a burden
Shut them up just shut them up
The voices in your head
will put a gun in your hand
They'll put that hand to your head
But they won't pull the trigger
No, that's all up to you