Grey Areas

I started College today and met a girl;
posh and stuck up, I didn't like her much.
Rough, tough, chavy council kid;
she thought I was a bit of a flid.

Time is an opportunity to get to know each other;
before I know it she's my lover.
Her family don't like that I am not rich;
especially her mum who's a two faced bitch.

After a year we've our first child on the way;
we announce it and her family have too much to say.
My aunties and uncles death takes a toll on me;
and I lose sight of the good man I wanted to be.

Me and my beautiful woman get our own flat;
talking to other people we both lose where the other is at.
Arguing and drifting apart with a new born baby;
we should leave our relationship maybe.

Cuddles and selfie pouting;
turned into fist fighting, screaming and shouting.
Work, drinking, paranoia and arguments everyday;
we need to change, it can't stay the same.

Talking through the troubles with secrets exposed;
we start a new and that chapter is closed.
Things are better with another child expected;
love, passion and family that are never neglected.

We live in a house that don't feel like my home;
stuck in a town I am ashamed to call my own.
The need and burden to get away;
with a women that cant leave her family and just wont stray.

I want my girls with me but need to leave;
everyday waking up and feeling like I've got to heave.
I keep saying to myself just keep moving forward;
I cant stay here forever oh help lord I'm cornered.

Outburst of anger aimed at a stair gate;
she tells me to leave she don't want this life and its too late.
Broken and forced to face her everyday when I wake;
ill act strong but truth be told that's fake.

She's hurting too and I still love her;
out of everyone she's the one I prefer.
With romantic gestures failing;
my hearts the only thing that is breaking.

I just want you back;
wishing you'd have a love relapse.
An overpriced flat I find;
filled with drugs and grime.

This isn't the place for me;
but its close to her and my babies.
I see them everyday;
trying to make sure things stay the same.

Arguments and awkwardness;
trying to move on from this.
Promises I make her;
feels like a legal transfer.

Needing to date other girls;
while trying to keep my other world.
Get out there everyone said;
but I promised her I wouldn't take anyone else to bed.

She tells me she's sorry and wants me back;
I don't know if I should back track.
Oh what should I do;
go for my past love or try to find anew.

She tells me she's pregnant and it can only be mine;
I still do love her and think she's sublime.
I say lets give it another go;
what's to lose when I've got nothing to show.

We're in the hospital;
something's wrong I heard the midwife say its critical.
Alarms going off and I'm kicked out the room;
I hope my woman's ok and my baby in the womb.

Midwives and nurses everywhere;
I'm an impatient mess as this caught me unaware.
They then say come quickly as the baby's coming;
dressed in theatre clothes I go running.

Barely in there when they say they can see the head;
something feels wrong as midwives pin my woman down onto the bed.
One screams at her to push now;
while the other one says to get forceps and towels.

Then one midwife shouts for everyone to be quiet;
as manic as it was she has quickly ended the riot.
She says you need to push when you can;
because there's complications it might not go to plan.

The baby's out feels like forever before she cries;
everyone is emotional not a single dry eye.
It's a girl the midwife hurls;
so now there is mum, me and our 3 special girls.

Staring in all my daughters eyes and realising it's all worth it, I mean after all life can't always be perfect.