fuck my life

I can see we're all caught in a fucking cycle of ups and downs, and while everyone else adapts to it I FUCKING CAN'T! I can't keep going through this one week feeling like king of the world and the next being dragged down to the lowest of the low. I want to die but I know that will just make things worse. I can see there are to many problems for anything to really be fucking done. I want to help others when I can't even help myself. there's no one who can save me so here I lye just letting myself go hollow inside trying to ignore the hell around me trying to not care... but even that won't get me anywhere, so I have nothing I can do even though I want to tear this world apart and re-build it anew so less and less people have to suffer just as or even worse then I do...