Maeror

                                                 Maeror
                                        By Jackson Posey


Welcome to school,
Here is who you'll sit with.
I groaned on the inside,
I knew I'd be put on a hitlist.
It was all girls-
Brooke, Grace, and Rachel,
The were the popular ones,
The ones who'd whisper when you passed their table.
Luckily for me I'd grown accustomed to ignoring people.
So I'd just sit back and read,
Ignore whenever they'd try to talk to me.
Until one day something happened,
And Lord, I'll need your saving Grace
Cause one day
When I was looking away,
Grace-
From our table-
Wasn't able to live anymore.
It was no illness
It wasn't a disease
No, someone had killed her
And the one at fault was me.
Sure, it was an accident,
The kind we couldn't predict,
But really there was some mad intent
And some pain she wanted to inflict.
There wasn't a trigger,
No loud gunshot,
But strangulation was the culprit.
She just put her hand over Grace's mouth
And I sat there in silence,
Idly by.
I could've stopped it, but I didn't-
I don't know why. Perhaps I though they were joking,
Just pretending to die.
But I saw blood leak out of her mouth and nose
And I knew that i
Had to hide.
She'd always been complaining
About how the teacher hated her.
Abused her,
And he used her
In ways
That really confused her.
But I just let it go,
Pretended it didn't happen
Even though she ended up dead,
Like an anthrax napkin.
And I guess all the complaining had really gone to Rachel's head
Because as soon as I saw Grace dead
(The body crumpled,
Blood running down, face-to-leg)
I ran.
I ran hard.
I just watched someone get killed by someone else
And didn't even lift a finger.
I was trapped in the middle,
My mind whirling in a days
I wont eat! I swore, For the rest of my days!
Soon Mrs. Hollow found me
I was sitting against the wall
Outside her class
And though normally id never crawl
Away from responsibility,
Today I shirked responsibility
And did the most terrible thing.
The bullying assembly played in my head,
If you allow it to happen, its just as bad.
Mrs. Hollow was about to ask me what was wrong.
I could see it in her eyes,
But I couldn't bear the thought
Of opening up.
So I huddled up against the wall,
And wept,
Until finally she stepped away.
But she came back,
And again
I ran away.
She was in charge of FCA,
And I was supposed to be a perfect officer
And at the start I promised her
To be a light,
To follow after god,
To ask what Jesus would do,
And then do it,
Swear to God,
But instead i... watched.

The teacher looked at Brooke
And silently nodded his head.
Brooke nodded back,
Her forehead dotted with sweat
As she glanced around the room,
Quickly,
With a glint of fear,
She began to pull herself together,
And wiped away a stray tear.
She wanted no stragglers,
All of her had to be in on this.
She had the easy job,
Mr. Richardson had reconnaissance.
So she slowly reached out to Grace,
Put her hand over her mouth
And the crook of her arm on her neck
So she could kill Grace,
Who now couldn't shout
For help.
And even if she could
The likelihood
Of being heard
Was hard to estimate.
Just a guessing game
As the class was great
At making earth-shaking soundwaves,
So the game would be easily masked.
Brooke was tasked with an option.
She could relent
And face the consequence
(As guilt
was racking her conscience)
Or finish the job,
And then she might
Get Mr. Richardson to finally let in
And change her missing work from "M's"
To A's.
So she'd pass
And at home
Would live
To see another day.
Her parents would have killed her
If they knew
She got bad grades.
And so she did
The deed
That day.

Mr. Richardson knew that his time was up.
Grace was going to snitch
On what his lust
Had done to both of "us"
Yes, he called them us,
Even though she called him "Mister"
Because sometimes he had too much love for his wife,
Or her sister.
It was classic infidelity,
He said,
Its not illegal.
But when Grace got scared
And antsy
Mr. R was scared
I can't breathe!
Which he yelled,
Though no one heard him
Except Brooke,
Who had been hiding
As he looked,
Around the classroom
Anger tattooed on his eyelids
So when Mr. R looked over
With a kind expression
It shocked Brooke- and made a big impression.

He likes me, she thought, he really does!
And so she willingly approached his fearsome jaws
Which the kids compared to a shark,
Like he could et people
And break no laws

Mr. Richardson looked down at Brooke.
She was his olive branch,
Emerging from a stormy nook
In the river
Of his life
Where he held on
To both sides
Between Grace,
His wife's sister,
AND his wife.
SO when Brooke came up,
Mr. R decided to sit.
It was too much to take in.
It was like God was trying
To help him out with his sin.
SO once more he rose,
And looked down at little Brooke.
Short and stout,
But not bad for looks...
"... Please?"
Mr. Richardson shook his head.
He was so involved
In his fantasy
That he refused to see
Out of his own head.
He asked her to repeat
The entire statement again.
She looked taken aback,
As if she was confused
Why he kept looking at Grace
As more than a friend.
"Well, Mr. R,
As you know,
I'm a cheerleader-
Perhaps you've seen me from afar?"
To this he nodded.
He knew it was rotten
But still
Every practice
He stood still
And watched cheer practice
Outside a windowsill
In the school office.
They thought he was doing papers,
But the true, honest,
Answer was that papers weren't his goal.
He was spiraling out of control.
He knew that s-
"Mr. R?
Are
You
OK?"
He looked at her for a moment.
Shook his head out of his stupor,
Then
Got up
From his mass amounts of fleshly desire
And allowed Brooke to go ahead
And say what she was going to say.
She continued her thought from earlier,
But Mr. R's bouts of thought
Had left her mind
A bit ajar,
She said,
"So, sir,
unfortunately I'm failing this class.
If there's anything I can do,
To get my grade up
And pass?"
Mr. Richardson smiled smugly-
He had her under his thumb.
Sure, this was the move of a bum
And he had,
the night before, had
a few-too-many sips of rum,
But in his mind it was clear-
He would end the problem right here.
He was worried about Grace telling
That he showed her more than his great spelling
And so he did the most reasonable thing that he could.
Well... ANYTHING?
Brooke nodded earnestly
She really, really, really
Wanted to cheerlead.
So he smirked and griined,
And rubbed
His double chin,
And he told her
Brook,
Please listen calmly
And don't lose your composure
I can save your grade,
But I really need some closure
With a student in this room.
Brook,
Are you sure youll do
ANYTHING
For your grade?

Again, Brooke nodded,
She couldn't be more serious.
She was schizophrenic
With a touch of being a realist
Whatever he asked,
She knew she had to do.
And no matter what it was,
She knew that she had to
Pass, if she wanted to be on the team.
If she didn't want to go home every day green
Hoping Darryl,
The mean
'stepfather'
Her mother had married
Wouldn't go psycho on her for failing.
And with his mental state ailing
As his body was aging
It meant that his inhibitions
Were failing.
So no matter what the cost,
Even to accost
Her boss
On Pentecost
She'd do it.
So she nodded again,
Looked him right in the eyes
In his skull
In his head
And said
Say the word.
What she heard back was shocking.
But not as bad as it could have been,
As one day she was walking
And saw her boyfriend with Grace.
She gasped quietly,
She's taken my place!
She walked straight up to Jon
And slapped him right in the face.
So when she got the order to strangulate
She didn't care if it were Grace or Jon,
She'd kill them both-
Or torture them till dawn.
Was she thinking rationally?
No, of course not.
But even though she knew she was delirious
She did nothing about it.
Just let it slide by
Hoping that in the act,
She wouldn't accidentally look into
Grace's big, brown eyes
And see the panic
Evident.
But she ignored those thoughts and feelings
And
Agreed upon a covenant.
Kill Grace,
And your grade gets to live.
Brooke revved up her engine,
She was ready to go.
Mr. R sent her back to the table
With a smile
And a note,
Which read
"Thank you for the flowers,
they meant so much to me.
Not that I'd ever get any from that *****
Who blew me off
And doesn't ever respect me!"
Brooke walked toward Grace,
A glint in her eye
She walked to that place
Where her 'best friend'
Would die.
She handed Grace the note
And glanced over at the Ringleader.
Held up his finger

Till he heard Grace scream,
And he believed it was
Go time
And so he nodded
At Brooke;
A smile stretched across his head
As he watched Brooke cover up GG's head and neck.
Grace Goldenbloom was her name, not is,
He chuckled to himself.
His brat students
Making so much noise
Was finally helping him.

Grace's eyes filled with tears
As she strained against this beast
Trying to scream,
To breathe
To LIVE!
...
But couldn't do a thing.
Her life flashed before her eyes.
There were the friendships
The thought now made her weak
Her best friends were Rachel and Brooke,
And now?
Well, Grace took a look.
Rachel was making out with Asher,
And Brooke had a deadlock on her hair.
She knew of only one kid in the school
Who she knew would always help someone in need.
But Jackson Posey just sat there,
Reading his book on the floor.
Grace was floored.
Nick was the one guy she trusted
To always be a Christian,
But Christian, it appears,
Wasn't worth it's weight in bread.
Perhaps he didn't hear me. Yeah,
That's a good excuse.
So she reached out with all of her strength and grabbed hold of his shoulder,
Spinning him around towards her.
Her air was dangerously thin,
And he was the only one close to her.
He looked up at her and shook his head,
There was maybe even a tint of laughter.

They hug each other all the time,
Just leave me alone
With my book.
Its not like I care about them anyway.

Hearing those muttered words
Knocked all of the air out of Grace.
Tears flowed,
And she felt blood mingling with them on her face.
Sweating blood she was so scared, but not for much longer.
If only, if only,
She could hold on a bit longer...

I looked up, annoyed with the prospects of not reading
So I ignored what I should've been seein'
And didn't follow what Jesus said.
So when I looked up and saw Grace,
Who was kinda-sorta-maybe dead
I ran.
I ran away like a madman.
This was it, the rapture!
And I wont survive any more than a velociraptor!
Tears flowed down my face
Afraid to face my mistakes
I allowed sorrows to take their place.
As I passed Mrs. Hollow's room,
I heard the song "Amazing Grace"
And I stopped.
Stopped running
Stopped shutting out the world
Stopped... breathing, even.
I stumbled into the wall
And collapsed.
I couldn't even cry out to God
I was such a mess
My mind was a trap
And I was the victim.
The tears ran down my face,
But I hid them.
Hoping no one else had seen what I had seen
But simultaneously
Wishing that a savior could come
Bring her back to me.
Or, at least, bring me back to her.
I didn't know her,
But the thought of watching her die
Makes me wanna hurl
And so I do
All over my shirt
My pants
My Nike shoe.
Mrs. Han looks at me
A twinge of hurt in her eye
When she sees me turn away.
I can't look her
In the eye
It's too painful.

Mrs. Hollow knew it had to be terrible.
Jackson wasn't the type of kid to cry,
Or not respond to me.
What happened?
She looked up Jackson's schedule and bolted down the hallway
To Mr. Richardson's room.
She looked around, then she saw it.
She saw Mr. Richardson hugging Brooke,
Who had blood on her hands,
Standing over a body,
Which she saw take its last breath.
She'd gone in unnoticed,
And in that way she would leave,
Going down the hall at a blazing speed.

I looked up warily,
My face still streaked with tears,
My clothes bathed in vomit,
My conscience awash with guilt.
Mrs. Hollow kneeled down next to me
Sadness framing her eye,
And she hugged me-
We'd be sad together, after all.
We sat there in silence a while, just taking it all in.
Then Mrs. Hollow made a phone call to the Principal
"Yes... room 210."
She came back out of the room and sat next to me.
The occasional kid would walk past,
But all we'd get would be a quizzical look,
And then they'd march on.
Mrs. Hollow looked over,
Finally breaking the silence.
I opened up my wet eyelids
As I listened to her inquisition.
"Jackson," she began, with an impressively steady voice,
"What should you have done?"
I looked for my voice,
I tried to say, It wasn't my choice!
But it wouldn't come out.
Instead,
I heard myself choke out "S-Save-d h-h-her"
I was shivering now,
My whole body almost convulsing,
And it wasn't even cold.
The life went out of her,
I watched it!
I watched!
I watched it happen! (I felt my voice rise, though I didn't realize I was speaking aloud)
It was my fault,
I WATCHED IT HAPPEN!"
I sucked in giant gulps of air,
As if there would never be enough.
Never, never, NEVER!
My chest pumped furiously,
My body shook,
All the while tears still spilled.
Mrs. Hollow finally cracked.
Her voice, always steady, had become a conglomerate of
Cough.
Sniffle.
Speak.
Over and over, the same pattern
Cough.
Sniffle.
Speak.
And I respected it.
(Cough, sniff)
"Jackson, do you...
(Cough, sniff)
What if she...
(Cough, sniff)"
Mrs. Hollow took a deep, shaky breath.
"Jackson, what if...
(Cough, sniff)
What if she wasn't dead? What would you have done then?"
I stared at her,
Wiping off my eyes so it wasn't so blurry, and I realized something.
"I just saw her b-being killed."
Mrs. Hollow sat back, trying to compose herself, and I realized something.
This was not just a sad person.
This was a woman haunted by what she saw.
And she responded to my question,
With a voice seemingly detached from herself,

"I saw her die."