if you say so

FBI: have you seen this woman?
Store Owner: nope
FBI: Sir, you didn’t even look at the picture.
SO: Didn’t need to, I wouldn’t tell the feds if she had been here. I wouldn’t tell you if Bin Laden came in.
FBI: Sir, Bin Laden is dead
SO: if you say so.
FBI: May we ask some of your employees?
SO: It used to be a free country, knock yourselves out.
E1: yea, she came in here with Kurt Cobain. Asked to use the back room for a quickie.
FBI: Miss, Mr. Cobain killed himself in 1994
E2: that’s the DEA cover-story. Everyone knows he was a deep cover and they staged his death before El Chapo could kill him.
E3: yea, I she was in here with Jim Morrison, bought a copy of the anarchist cookbook.
FBI: Sir, Jim Morrison is dead.
E3: Did you just assume my gender?
E4: yea, she came in with Saddam Hussein bought some coffee and scones. Really nice couple only tipped 5% though.
FBI: Saddam Hussein, is dead.
E4: If you say so.