The Things That Scare Me

There are many thoughts that go through my head that I am scared to admit. Some of these things you may or may not relate to, but it happens to me all the time.

Worry/Doubt:
I overthink most things and it causes me to worry constantly. I worry about everything from money to the future ahead of me. I worry that I am not good enough for anything and everything. It causes me to doubt what I am capable of and then I worry that I can't meet the expectations from others. This makes me fall short of what I am actually capable of because I don't trust myself to do the right thing or make the right choice. Having to work a job in this state of mind makes it difficult and stressful. I doubt that I am as good as others around me because I let others walk over me because I'm worried that it will make things worse and speak up for myself.

Fear:
My whole life I have always been completely opposite from anyone else in my family and because of that I have had to hide most of who I am from people I love. Those people that say they love me too but then in the same sentence tell me if I do certain things that I have already done or am doing now they don't know about, they will not love me or want to have anything to do with me anymore. I'm always so afraid that the truth will come out and I will use those I couldn't imagine living without, the ones I love. Fear has always controlled my happiness because I have to hide so much. Hiding who I am hurts me more than anything and I'm scared that one day my true self will come out and turn my life upside down.

There are so many other feelings that have that scare me but if I were to list them all, nobody would want to read them all. I need positive friends in my life, well friends in general would be nice. Give me feedback on how you can relate to this short passage.