Evil Harry

Hey, don't give me happy eyes!

What the heck? Are you a talking pumpkin?

You don't see anyone else, do you?

Well, no.

Then, yes, I'm a talking pumpkin. Now, do like I said and don't give me happy eyes.

Why not?

Do I sound like a happy pumpkin? You're carving me up for cryin' out loud. How would you feel?

I already have eyes, a nose, and a mouth.

Good point. But no one carved those into you did they? You should be done with me. I'm an evil pumpkin and I will bring harm your way.

Sure, a pumpkin that can hurt me. How do you even know what evil means?

All the pumpkins in the little patch know evil. It was preached to us every day. The evil farmer wanted to raise evil pumpkins. Apparently, we all turned out good enough he could sell us.

So he sold all the evil pumpkins in his patch? Did he know that you all became alive after being picked off the vine?

Yes, but it wasn't until he carved one of us that he realized. You see, we need faces so we can see what we're doing.

Oh, so if I covered your eyes you wouldn't be able to carry out your evil means?

I'll stab you with that knife you're holding if you even think about covering my eyes.

Ha! It's a little carving knife from a kit. It can't hurt me.

Yes, it can. Let me have it.

You little ... O w w w!

I told you. That's just the beginning.

How did you sprout arms like that?

I can do a lot. Don't test me.

Where in the world am I supposed to put you?

Outside where I can scare and hurt people.

But I don't want you to hurt people.

Too bad. Now, you put me outside or I'll do it myself.

Good luck with that.

I told you I was evil. How did my cutting you not convince you? You're an idiot.

Evil sucks and so do you. I'll take you out back and burn you. Hey, how did you just grow legs?

I can grow legs and arms. The better to kill you with.

I don't want to die.

I told you to put me outside. You'll have to pay for not doing just that and for giving me happy eyes.

You have arms why couldn't you carve your own face?

Look, smart mouth, I don't have to explain myself to you or anyone else. You've released me and I've got a lot to do. You haven't done anything to help me except carving me a face. You could have carved me a more scary face, but no. Now you'll pay.

No! No! Don't kill me. I'll fix it. I'll carve you a scary face.

Too late. You had your chance. I'm going to carve the kind of face I wanted into your stomach. Goodbye.

No! No! No o o o o o.