Half Way To Wonderland

I am not well.

Every day is a struggle to just get out of bed. Every person another shade that I can hear talking about me....judging me....disgusted with me. I can feel their stares and it crawls on my skin like insects.

I have abandoned my "friends". Barred them from the travesty of my life. The wither and decay that I live through every day and every night. Dramatic? Yes. Accurate? Yes.

I etch into the flesh. New scribbles of nonsense marked into a canvas that will haunt me forever. I use to blame the booze.....it was never about the booze.

My mind screams. Telling me it's never enough. No matter how hard I work. No matter how much I do. It will never be enough. They will never love you. You will never be anything more then just a means to an end.

No
Road
Forward....

No
Road
Back....

Words that will haunt me forever. Echos in my head to remind me of my failings. Every day is that much harder. Every word written that much more desperate.

I am not well.